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Chastity Bites (2013)

| Comedy, Horror | 2013 (USA)
In the early 1600's, Countess Elizabeth Bathory slaughtered more than 600 young women, believing if she bathed in the blood of virgins that she would stay young and beautiful forever. Still... See full summary »

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Cast

Credited cast:
...
Leah
...
Katharine
...
Liz Batho / Elizabeth Bathory
Eduardo Rioseco ...
Paul
...
Kelly
...
Ashley
...
Britney
...
Noemi
...
Jillian
...
Ilona
Rest of cast listed alphabetically:
...
...
Louie
...
Goth High School Student
Nidal Adam ...
High School Student (as Nidal)
Danielle Adams ...
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Storyline

In the early 1600's, Countess Elizabeth Bathory slaughtered more than 600 young women, believing if she bathed in the blood of virgins that she would stay young and beautiful forever. Still alive today, she's found a perfect hunting ground for her 'botox' as an abstinence educator in conservative America, and the young ladies of San Griento High are poised to be her next victims. But will her unholy ritual finally be stopped by Leah Ratliff, a feminist blogger and ambitious reporter for the school paper? Written by Lotti Pharriss Knowles

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

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Who says the virgin always lives 'til the end?

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Comedy | Horror

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2013 (USA)  »

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Did You Know?

Trivia

Allison Scagliotti's stunt double (Talia Dillingham) performed the "spear flip" onto a hard concrete floor without padding and with minimal protective gear. She did two takes without injury, with the crew applauding wildly each time. See more »

Quotes

Noemi: I would never put anyone else down for their choice, but I think if I ever felt that tempted, I would just... get down on my knees and pray to God...
Liz Batho: NO!
[sound of a thunderclap]
Liz Batho: You must never mention His name in here! You see, my dear, we could get into a lot of trouble for having that sort of talk in a public school, yes? Well, I think that's enough for today. See you all next time.
See more »

Soundtracks

All Your Gravity
Written by Bay Dariz and Ambre Leigh
Performed by Some Hear Explosions
Courtesy of LORD BARONESS Music (ASCAP) and Bambre Music (ASCAP)
See more »

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User Reviews

 
Probably should have been better than it is
16 June 2017 | by (United Kingdom) – See all my reviews

Even since the original 'Scream' film back in 1997, it's been popular for horror films to kind of parody themselves and point out their own clichés while satirising the genre. Sometimes it works well, as in 'Cabin in the Woods' while other times it kind of falls a bit flat. Here, in 'Chastity Bites,' it sadly falls into the latter. We open in a high school where a clique of (stereotypical, if you've seen any teen movie ever – horror, or otherwise) 'popular' girls rules the class with their status and, of course, shallowness. The two – equally clichéd – unpopular girls (who dress conservatively and don't want to jump into bed with the first high school jock who takes off his football helmet) walk around discussing poetry, philosophy and generally do their best to show us – the audience – how downtrodden and relatable they are. Then a – clichéd British – villain comes along in the form of a woman who teaches the virtues of chastity to the young, who wants spokespeople to promote her cause. Naturally, the vacuous 'popular' bimbos all sign up (despite their blatant lack of respect for the rules). However, we quickly discover that this woman has a darker motive and wants to suck the souls of the young (or something). She's a baddie – that's all you need to know and it's up to the unpopular duo to 'out' her terrible scheme.

So, it's a kind of 'teenagers versus evil' kind of affair and, like I say, it kind of knows it's a bit dumb and does its best to play up to that fact so that it never takes itself too seriously. It does this by attempting to satirise today's obsession with beauty and social standing among teens (and in some cases adults!). This could work, but sadly it's just not 'fresh' enough to really say anything new or in a different way than we've already seen before (and better). Allison Scagliotti (most famous for her awesomely cool performance as 'Claudia' in 'Warehouse 13') is the lead and she does her best to use her natural quirky charm to good effect. However, the script just isn't up to her talent and the jokes start to fall flat while the whole thing descends into predictability.

It may be a young adult horror/comedy, but it's not really funny enough to be a straight out comedy and there isn't enough gore to really make it that bloodthirsty. They even try to throw in one of the most forced love interest sub-plots ever seen in cinema. The male love interest only occupies a few scenes of screen time and could have been done away with all together and you'd never notice.

You know a film is getting desperate when you see all the visual promotional advertising surrounding the film depicts shots of girls in short 'fantasy' schoolgirl costumes. I can promise you nothing like this ever appears in the film itself! All together it's just a missed opportunity to say something worthwhile about a facet of popular culture than needs a bit of mainstream debunking. Avoid. You won't miss much. Sorry Allison – you were brilliant in 'Warehouse 13.'


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