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Chastity Bites (2013)

| Comedy, Horror | 2013 (USA)
In the early 1600's, Countess Elizabeth Bathory slaughtered more than 600 young women, believing if she bathed in the blood of virgins that she would stay young and beautiful forever. Still... See full summary »



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Credited cast:
Liz Batho / Elizabeth Bathory
Eduardo Rioseco ...
Rest of cast listed alphabetically:
Goth High School Student
High School Student (as Nidal)
Danielle Adams ...
Kyle Anderson ...


In the early 1600's, Countess Elizabeth Bathory slaughtered more than 600 young women, believing if she bathed in the blood of virgins that she would stay young and beautiful forever. Still alive today, she's found a perfect hunting ground for her 'botox' as an abstinence educator in conservative America, and the young ladies of San Griento High are poised to be her next victims. But will her unholy ritual finally be stopped by Leah Ratliff, a feminist blogger and ambitious reporter for the school paper? Written by Lotti Pharriss Knowles

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis


Who says the virgin always lives 'til the end?


Comedy | Horror


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2013 (USA)  »

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Did You Know?


The family portrait of Ashley and her parents was made intentionally tacky, as the director wanted to show the family had poor taste despite their wealth. The role of Ashley's father (who can also be seen briefly during the cocktail party) was played by Christopher Gourlay, the film's Location Manager. See more »


Liz Batho: And now, it is time to complete these black rites as the midnight hour draws near. I make this unholy sacrifice of Alban Elved to the prince of darkness. Dark lord, restore my youth and beauty, and I will continue to serve only you... forever!
Leah: Not so fast, you eurotrash hell whore.
Katharine: Leah!
Liz Batho: Leah. You little brat. I knew you'd make an appearance here tonight, just as your ancestor did on this night, so many moons ago.
Leah: What does that mean?
Liz Batho: I knew I recognized your bloodline the moment I saw you, ...
See more »


Dead End Prom Queen
Written by Bay Dariz and Ambre Leigh
Performed by Some Hear Explosions
Courtesy of LORD BARONESS Music (ASCAP) and Bambre Music (ASCAP)
See more »

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User Reviews

"Virgin blood that tastes a little like water."
3 May 2014 | by (United States) – See all my reviews

It's not very often a film takes you by surprise without resorting to clichés and wasted potential when there's so much or little to follow. Most films these days that attempt to pay homage by 'spoofing' or other forms of respect aren't always executed properly. But in this case, Chastity Bites attempts something different at its best but still has some hiccups that prevents it from being the most ingenious out of the many creations that either feels rehashed or incomplete.

The story follows a writer named Leah that becomes suspicious of a newly profound abstinence educator that schemes an army of virgins to please her vicious desires to collect blood to contain her youth. Of course convincing the entire school would be harder than assassinating an immortal masked murderer, but this doesn't seem like a heavy situation as Leah decides to take matters into her own hands to save her companion in time before she too is slaughtered like other unfortunate victims in their prime.

The film is assembled with a cast that does all of their parts well but also suffers from having some that feel either very unused or simply there to suffer their demise. If we spent more time with some of the characters and the film had taken a darker turn where it felt less like an outdated sitcom, perhaps it would have succeeded more where other films with a similar premise didn't. However, complete credibility for effort to everyone and what it tried is surely due and this film can still be considerably an enjoyable presentation if you can extract the lack of tension and some goofy elements that some may find very distracting.

For that, let's enjoy this cup of virgin blood that tastes a little like water for what it's worth and not less of what it could have been.

6 of 8 people found this review helpful.  Was this review helpful to you?

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