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Chastity Bites (2013)

4.8
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In the early 1600's, Countess Elizabeth Bathory slaughtered more than 600 young women, believing if she bathed in the blood of virgins that she would stay young and beautiful forever. Still... See full summary »

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Title: Chastity Bites (2013)

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Cast

Credited cast:
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Leah
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Katharine
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Liz Batho / Elizabeth Bathory
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Paul
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Kelly
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Ashley
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Britney
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Noemi
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Jillian
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Ilona
Rest of cast listed alphabetically:
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Louie
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Goth High School Student
Danielle Adams ...
Kyle Anderson ...
...
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Storyline

In the early 1600's, Countess Elizabeth Bathory slaughtered more than 600 young women, believing if she bathed in the blood of virgins that she would stay young and beautiful forever. Still alive today, she's found a perfect hunting ground for her 'botox' as an abstinence educator in conservative America, and the young ladies of San Griento High are poised to be her next victims. But will her unholy ritual finally be stopped by Leah Ratliff, a feminist blogger and ambitious reporter for the school paper? Written by Lotti Pharriss Knowles

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Who says the virgin always lives 'til the end?

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Comedy | Horror

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2013 (USA)  »

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Soundtracks

All Your Gravity
Written by Bay Dariz and Ambre Leigh
Performed by Some Hear Explosions
Courtesy of LORD BARONESS Music (ASCAP) and Bambre Music (ASCAP)
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User Reviews

 
"Virgin blood that tastes a little like water."
3 May 2014 | by (United States) – See all my reviews

It's not very often a film takes you by surprise without resorting to clichés and wasted potential when there's so much or little to follow. Most films these days that attempt to pay homage by 'spoofing' or other forms of respect aren't always executed properly. But in this case, Chastity Bites attempts something different at its best but still has some hiccups that prevents it from being the most ingenious out of the many creations that either feels rehashed or incomplete.

The story follows a writer named Leah that becomes suspicious of a newly profound abstinence educator that schemes an army of virgins to please her vicious desires to collect blood to contain her youth. Of course convincing the entire school would be harder than assassinating an immortal masked murderer, but this doesn't seem like a heavy situation as Leah decides to take matters into her own hands to save her companion in time before she too is slaughtered like other unfortunate victims in their prime.

The film is assembled with a cast that does all of their parts well but also suffers from having some that feel either very unused or simply there to suffer their demise. If we spent more time with some of the characters and the film had taken a darker turn where it felt less like an outdated sitcom, perhaps it would have succeeded more where other films with a similar premise didn't. However, complete credibility for effort to everyone and what it tried is surely due and this film can still be considerably an enjoyable presentation if you can extract the lack of tension and some goofy elements that some may find very distracting.

For that, let's enjoy this cup of virgin blood that tastes a little like water for what it's worth and not less of what it could have been.


3 of 5 people found this review helpful.  Was this review helpful to you?

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