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Chastity Bites (2013)

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Ratings: 4.8/10 from 383 users  
Reviews: 6 user | 21 critic

In the early 1600's, Countess Elizabeth Bathory slaughtered more than 600 young women, believing if she bathed in the blood of virgins that she would stay young and beautiful forever. Still... See full summary »

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Cast

Credited cast:
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Leah
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Katharine
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Liz Batho / Elizabeth Bathory
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Paul
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Kelly
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Ashley
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Britney
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Noemi
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Jillian
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Ilona
Rest of cast listed alphabetically:
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Louie
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Goth High School Student
Danielle Adams ...
Kyle Anderson ...
...
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Storyline

In the early 1600's, Countess Elizabeth Bathory slaughtered more than 600 young women, believing if she bathed in the blood of virgins that she would stay young and beautiful forever. Still alive today, she's found a perfect hunting ground for her 'botox' as an abstinence educator in conservative America, and the young ladies of San Griento High are poised to be her next victims. But will her unholy ritual finally be stopped by Leah Ratliff, a feminist blogger and ambitious reporter for the school paper? Written by Lotti Pharriss Knowles

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Who says the virgin always lives 'til the end?

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Comedy | Horror

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2013 (USA)  »

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Soundtracks

Dead End Prom Queen
Written by Bay Dariz and Ambre Leigh
Performed by Some Hear Explosions
Courtesy of LORD BARONESS Music (ASCAP) and Bambre Music (ASCAP)
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User Reviews

 
Decent enough but still with some problems
9 June 2014 | by (Los Angeles, Ca) – See all my reviews

When their school is invaded by a foreign woman, a student and her friend uncover the true meaning of her push for chastity in the local population when she turns out to be an immortal bloodsucker intending to use the students in a special, diabolic ceremony.

This is actually quite a profound and problematic entry that seems to have a lot going for it both ways. One of the biggest issues against it is the fact that there's just no end to the rather lame comedy that runs through this, since it tends to think that the humor derives from the social about-face many of the women portray themselves to be, being in a club intended to push virginity and chasteness among the local kids but being the biggest sluts on campus when no one's looking, and that humor tends to get old very quickly since it's not a funny joke to begin with. That it thinks otherwise means that the large majority of time here is spent doing this without offering a lot of humor on other topics while the film's other topic of concern, how her rampant bloodlust is mistaken for the eccentricities of European society is nowhere near original or clever and makes them out to be even more clueless than they really need to be. It all makes for rather enjoyable teen-comedy tropes that work well with the influx of the burgeoning horror found in the true identity angle that slowly works its way into the later half, but that doesn't mean the rest of the time is all that enjoyable. It's only when it starts being a little more serious with the house raid to uncover the secret ceremony does it all work out in the end with a strong assault that includes numerous encounters with her protectors and the final battle itself, which does make for a rather enjoyable enough time even if there's a lot of problems with it.

Rated R: Graphic Violence, Graphic Language and continuous sexual topics.


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