You would cry too if you were exposed to yet another dumb, derivative and pretentious slasher failure. "Afterparty" was presented to me at the annual Horror/Fantasy film festival in my country as a supposedly fresh and innovative variation on "Scream", updated with biting satire towards the nowadays hype around untalented but immensely popular media figures. The synopsis briefly describes how an obnoxious and self-centered sitcom actor with a hunky face is trapped in a remote house, the morning after a wild and drunken party night, and pursued by a masked killer. Sounds potentially interesting, but unfortunately the script is uninspired and nearly not gutsy enough to shock or even surprise. The scenes inside the hermetically sealed off mansion, where the anti-hero is forced to team up with three chicks that he had sex with throughout the night, are incredibly tedious and mundane, while the plot-twists and character development are totally implausible and absurd. None of the protagonists deserve any sympathy; or even compassion when they get slaughtered. Besides, for a late-night slasher picture, "Afterparty" is too talkative and dramatically short of gory make-up effects and nasty situations. There's never any suspense or even a little bit of unsettling atmosphere. I usually look forward to Spanish horror flicks at the Festival, because they're often groundbreaking and exhilarating, but this is as lame and unmemorable as any random made-for-TV thriller.
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