The Thick of It (TV Series)

Episode #4.4 (2012)

Peter Capaldi: Malcolm Tucker

Photos 

Quotes 

• Malcolm Tucker : Somebody get me a fucking Fanta!

• Oliver Reeder : Did you actually buy my flowers, Malcolm?

  Malcolm Tucker : No, no, no, it's one of the many advantages of living close to an accident black spot.

• Malcolm Tucker : I'm looking for Mr. Oliver Reeder, he looks a bit like a Quentin Blake illustration.

• Malcolm Tucker : [on the phone]  Sam, hi, listen, can you do me a favour? Buy some flowers for Nicola fucking Murray. Yeah, have them delivered to her home this evening with a card that says "sorry you had to go, but let's face it, you are a fucking waste of skin"... "waste of skin," yeah.

• Oliver Reeder : [referring to Nicola Murray's career]  Is that it then? Is she fucked?

  Malcolm Tucker : Like Caligula's favourite watermelon.

• Nicola Murray : [after Malcolm barges into her office unannounced]  Still not knocking, Malcolm?

  Malcolm Tucker : Oh, sorry, it's an old habit from my time in the Haitian death squads.

• Malcolm Tucker : When you come back, it'll be as Foreign Secretary.

  Ben Swain : And you mean Foreign Secretary? That isn't code for Northern Ireland? I'm not fucking going there.

• Malcolm Tucker : [walking in on a meeting between Ben Swain and Dan Miller and addressing Dan]  Oh, here she is, Pippa Middleton trying to steal the limelight with your peachy little ass.

• Ben Swain : I hereby tweet "I have resigned. More to follow." Didn't seem that momentous.

  Malcolm Tucker : How many followers have you got?

  Ben Swain : 612, or odd thereabouts.

  Malcolm Tucker : Christ, let's hope it gets re-tweeted, otherwise you might as well just whisper it to a dead tramp.

• Malcolm Tucker : [holding up his iPhone]  These phones are amazing, aren't they? I've got an app that can throw a grenade into people's dreams.

• Malcolm Tucker : [gesturing people over to watch Nicola's resignation speech on TV]  Come on, everybody, this is history in the making. This is the ending of a chapter of a very thin book that nobody enjoyed reading.

• Dan Miller : Should we get Ben?

  Malcolm Tucker : Oh, he'll be back. Like the shit Terminator.

• Malcolm Tucker : [to Oliver, on phone]  What have you got for me, Professor Brian Cock?