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"Desperate Housewives" - "Is This What You Call Love?" - Feb. 12, 2012

The first big surprise of the night is that Julie is coming home and... she's six months pregnant. Susan and Mike are shocked and even moreso when Julie says she's giving the baby up for adoption. (I guess they haven't been talking much lately.) Mere moments after saying they would support her if she decided to have the baby Susan is objecting to supporting her in giving it up. Julie says she is resolute and in fact meeting with the prospective parents the next day. Susan offers to host dinner. All goes swimmingly until Susan sends Julie out of the room to fetch dessert and sabotages the adoption by wildly lying and saying Julie is mentally ill and on meds. Julie is livid and says she hasn't changed her mind and doesn't want to be a single mom. Susan says Julie is making a mistake and won't know it until she holds the baby. She tries to rouse her by reminding her that she was a singe mom and they had fun staying up all night in her bed sharing secrets and having cereal for dinner. Julie counters that they did this because Susan couldn't face the other side of the bed empty and couldn't get it togeher to cook. Julie says she doesn't want to have a baby because she already raised a kid: Susan. Susan is taken aback. The next day Mike chats with Julie on the stoop and says she knows it's hard but everything Susan does she does out of love. Julie says she knows. She goes back to her mom and they apologize to each other but Julie won't change her mind. Susan won't give up hope.

Meanwhile, hopefully Bree is using birth control because she's still out boozing at the bar and whoring it up with a different guy each night. The ladies observe this and wonder what's happening but brush it off since they severed their friendship. Bree is getting so bad that she starts hitting on the same men without realizing she's already slept with them.

Over at the Solis house it's Valentine's Day and Juanita and Gaby are making cupcakes for her class. Gaby learns that Juanita has a crush on a boy named Ryan. When she comes home and didn't get a card from Ryan she's crushed so Gaby fakes one and she is thrilled. Juanita can't wait to have a "relationship" with Ryan. Gaby cautions her against talking to him at all and says that's how it works. Instead, Juanita throws him the ground on the playground and kisses him. He is traumatized and Gaby is given a warning if Juanita does it again she will be expelled. Gaby comes clean to Juanita and she is mad. She wonders why Gaby is still lying to her now that she's older. She also says she knows Carlos isn't in Europe. Gaby decides to tell her the truth about Carlos being in rehab and they go to visit him together.

Lynette has been given a second chance by Renee's hairdresser Frank. The second date goes much better until she offers to serve him dessert at her house. She offers pudding cups and pie. He thought she meant sex when she said dessert. She balks that it's too soon. (And is not prepared, if you know what she's saying.) He apologizes and says they had a great night and looks forward to doing it again. She babbles about being willing to do it soon. They kiss goodnight, awkwardly. She then consults Gaby and Susan who give her conflicting advice. Gaby says to go for it and get out there. Susan says to take it slow. For the next date she meets him at the door and basically says "let's get it on." They negotiate the lighting situation and get down to business. Cut to the next day and Lynette is moping on the couch. Renee comes over and Lynette explains that she started crying during the sex because she finally realized that this meant her marriage was over. Renee tells her to look on the bright side it only cost her one man to have this realization and now she can move on. It turns out it's not over. Frank drops by for a "stealth date" of wine and pizza and tells Lynette that they can take it as slow as she wants because he knows better than to give up a smart, funny, sexy woman. He says she lived with a guy for 20 years so it would be weird if he wasn't in her head a little. Lynette is touched. And then Frank is touched by Lynette and they have successful sex.

When she was comforting Lynette, Renee mentioned that when she went drinking with Bree she gave her similar counsel and told her to get wild. Lynette realizes this is the answer to the skankapalooza: Bree is drinking again. (Apparently, Renee didn't know she was an alcoholic? )

Lynette goes to Susan and Gaby and they agree they should help Bree. They stage an intervention as Bree brings yet another guy home. A bitter Bree is not touched and asks where they were when she almost killed herself. She says she was only seen as a the organizer and the leader and after she did that and after that horrible night when they buried Gaby's stepfather they all abandoned her when it got rough. She stalks off. The next night at the bar a man hits on her but she turns up her nose at him. He is rude to her and can't believe she's trying to blow him off since everybody knows she's a whore basically. She leaves the bar and drops her keys. The man picks them up and won't give them back. He calls her the "town pump' and she slaps him. He then pushes her up against his car as she protests. Just then Orson rolls up and tazes the guy. Bree wonders why he is there. Orson says the girls called him. Bree says she's made a mess of her life. Orson says they were always best at cleaning things up.





Susan is in for a shock when daughter Julie pays a visit and shows up six months pregnant; Bree's alcohol consumption and lust for men continues to dominate and ruin her life; Lynette's first sexual encounter since separating from Tom doesn't quite end in fireworks; and Gaby's attempt to sooth Juanita when she doesn't receive a Valentine's Day card from a boy she has a crush on backfires

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