- Narrator: Kids, your aunt Robin never did become a pole-vaulter. But she did become a famous journalist, a successful businesswoman, a world traveler, she was even briefly a bullfighter - that's a funny story, I'll get to that one later. But there was one thing your aunt Robin never was; she was never alone.
- Robin Scherbatsky: So kids, I settled in for Christmas alone. I appreciated that Ted wanted to cheer me up, but honestly, it wasn't necessary. So I can't have kids.
- [scoffs]
- Robin Scherbatsky: Big deal, this way, there's no one to hold me back in life, no one to keep me from traveling when I wanna travel, no one getting in the way of my career. If you wanna know the truth of it, I'm glad you guys aren't real.
- [Kids and couch fade away to snow]
- Robin Scherbatsky: Real glad.
- Lily Aldrin: [Robin told the gang she can never be a "pole vaulter", instead of saying she is infertile] Are you okay?
- Robin Scherbatsky: Yeah, yeah. I guess this, erm... this "pole vaulting thing" is finally hitting me.
- Lily Aldrin: I don't get it Robin, did you really wanna be a pole vaulter?
- Robin Scherbatsky: No. No, I was, eh... I was always adamantly against having erm... a, a "pole vaulting career", even though, it's what most women want.
- Lily Aldrin: Most women wanna be a pole vaulter?
- Robin Scherbatsky: In Canada, it's very big up there. You know, it's, it's meet a nice guy, get married, "vault some poles". But I never wanted that. Of course, it's, it's one thing not to want something, it's another to be told you can't have it. I guess it's, it's just nice knowing that you... you could, some day, do it, if you changed your mind. But now, all of a sudden, that door is closed.
- Lily Aldrin: [Not getting it] What about the one where you ski and shoot, at the same time? That seems like something you'd be good at.
- Robin Scherbatsky: I am pregnant.
- Barney Stinson: Are you sure you are not just getting fat?
- [Gets punched in the face by Robin]
- Barney Stinson: So you're pregnant? Huh! Looks like nobody told your boobs.
- [Gets punched in the face by Robin again]
- Barney Stinson: Here's twenty for picking up a girl with only one word and here's another twenty for that word being boner.
- Barney Stinson: I can't believe I haven't seen you around.
- Insane Duane: Well after Sheila and I had that... quickie, my life's been playdates, preschool, and poop. I haven't set foot in a bar in years.
- Barney Stinson: You stopped drinking?
- Insane Duane: Oh, I still drink.
- Ted Mosby: I miss stockings. My step-dad Clint made us get rid of anything that reminds him of the commercialization of Christmas.
- Lily Aldrin: I thought you said he dresses up as Santa?
- Ted Mosby: Yeah, but to protest gender stereotypes, he plays Santa as a woman - though he keeps the beard. The result... is... disturbing.