Dr. Gregory House: [when he walks in on Wilson doing a breast exam on a patient] Relax, I'm a doctor. Your spectacular breasts mean nothing to me.
Dr. Gregory House: I had sex with Dominika.
Dr. James Wilson: In a dream?
Dr. Gregory House: It wasn't literally sex. Technically, it was flossing. You know, teeth, testicles. I think the symbolism is pretty clear.
Dr. Chris Taub: [to Park] I'll tell you what would be weirder, if you didn't dream about having sex with Chase.
Dr. Chi Park: Have you?
Dr. Chris Taub: No, but I've dreamed about having sex with a lot of people I work with and it didn't freak me out.
Dr. Chris Taub: [to House about the patient] He's stable, but we've obviously got a second symptom.
Dr. Gregory House: Yeah, yeah, yeah, kid in V-tach. Tell me about the luau in his bedroom.
Dr. Chi Park: It's a traditional Hmong ceremony that's supposed to call back the kid's soul.
Dr. Gregory House: Hasn't he heard of Star-69?
Dominika House: [to House] When you invite me for dinner, I thought maybe you take me to a restaurant or have plates.
Dr. Gregory House: Yeah, sorry. Idiot delivery guy forgot them.
Dominika House: Mm... The idiot delivery guy or the idiot guy whose food you stole from lounge refrigerator, huh?
Dr. Gregory House: You've gotten to know me pretty well.
Dr. Robert Chase: Seizure rules out Hashimoto's.
Dr. Chris Taub: Yeah, that's the issue, not that we have no rational explanation for how the patient spoke a language he's never even heard.
Dr. Gregory House: I've got one. "Dang tong lee twah." It means "you're a bunch of pathetic idiots" in Hmong.
Dr. Chris Taub: [to Park] You're an idiot, you know that?
Dr. Chi Park: Well, I definitely won't be dreaming about you tonight.
Dr. Gregory House: [to Dominika] You're a dead-eye shot and enjoy reading quantum physics on the crapper?
Dominika House: I read in bathtub.
Dr. Gregory House: Better image. Thank you.
Dr. Chris Taub: [to Adams] Can you please hint to House that you had a sex dream? I'd really prefer not to get distracted with trying to cure the patient today.
Dr. Jessica Adams: I refuse to divulge my dreams about girl-on-girl loofa action.
Dr. Chi Park: [to Chase] Want me to gaze longingly into your eyes as I tell you the test results?
Dr. Robert Chase: I want you to treat me like a friend which means getting over the fact that you like me more than I like you.
Dr. Chi Park: Yeah, egotism and preening really turn me on.
Dr. Robert Chase: Too bad I'm not attracted to androgyny and self-pity or you'd have it made.
Dr. Chi Park: Because anyone who hasn't gotten wet from your petri dish of STDs clearly has low self-esteem!
Dr. Robert Chase: Bitch.
Dr. Chi Park: Dick!
Lida: I don't know. Nothing you've done has helped.
Dr. Robert Chase: If we don't start and he has another seizure, the neurological damage could be permanent.
Lida: My father-in-law. He thinks the calling ceremony didn't work because Lue wasn't there.
Dr. Chris Taub: And you think he's right?
Lida: I don't know.
Dr. Chris Taub: I'm sorry, but there's no way we can allow him to perform an exorcism in your son's hospital room.
Lida: Then I will have to take him home.
Dr. Robert Chase: A day ago, you were insulted I'd even think you might believe that stuff and now you're willing to stop all treatment, so you can try it?
Lida: Maybe Xang was right about Kao. The man I loved wasn't evil and would never do what he did. He was possessed and my son needs his soul back.
Dr. Eric Foreman: [to House when the patient's mother wants her father-in-law to perform an exorcism] Why not? As long as he doesn't feed the kid anything or put anything on his skin that we haven't verified is harmless, what's the problem?
Dr. Gregory House: I agree. And since we're establishing a new policy of "What the hell, we'll try anything," I'd like to hire Shakira to belly dance while singing "Waka Waka."
Dr. Gregory House: People who live in glass hospitals should not throw exorcisms.
Dr. Gregory House: [to Wilson] Adams defied me. There's one more zealot in the world.
[sits on his couch]
Dr. Gregory House: And Dominika moved out. She was fun. She was hot. She fixed my blender. That is not a metaphor. You know any good fake divorce lawyers? I am surprisingly depressed by this.
Dr. James Wilson: I have cancer.
Dr. Gregory House: You were a little short with me the other day. You do need an excuse. Cancer may be overplaying it.
Dr. James Wilson: Stage II thymoma. I didn't want to tell you until I had it confirmed. I got the tests back this morning. I have cancer, House.