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Sean Price Williams
This is a pretty typical French seaside-holiday farce about a bunch of characters of different ages and social classes who all get entangled with one another as a result of their raging libidos while on a beach vacation. There is a wealthy middle-age man who is involved with a woman his own age (and by own age I mean only about fifteen years younger), but still goes after a young, free-spirited surfer girl. The surfer girl has an erstwhile boyfriend who works at a tennis club, but he spurns HER for the rich guy's striking teenage daughter (Alma Jodorowsky). The teenager meanwhile falls for an older married cad, who is already abandoning his wife and young child to fool around with ANOTHER woman who works at the tennis club with the artist, and the latter finds himself being used to set up assignations between the pretty teen and the married womanizer. The whole thing is doomed to end with just about everyone's lust left unrequited.
This kind of beach drama/farce has a long history in France (where people apparently never work, but are always on holiday). This movie though is less talky and philosophical than similar, more classic French films by directors like Eric Rohmer, which is good because despite the title and the entirely English-language soundtrack, I don't expect this will ever actually receive English subs. Also, unlike, the classic French beach films, the "no sex" part in the title is pretty literal--aside from one failed bj that goes horribly wrong and results in the Heimlich maneuver, there is no on screen sex. But while it's refreshing to see goofy-looking French guys NOT getting laid by beautiful girls they don't deserve, keep in mind this also largely means no female nudity. The pretty surfer girl has only a discrete topless swimming scene and the even prettier Alma Jodorowsky (a granddaughter of the cult filmmaker Alejandro Jodorowsky and later in "La Vie D'Adele") models several bikinis, but never takes any of them off.
Still, I found this to be a pretty likable film even if most of the characters are pretty unlikeable. It has nice scenery and a nice soundtrack. (The dialogue might also be pure poetry, but I'LL probably never know). It's certainly not a waste of time anyway.
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