Milhouse: How come you get so many valentines? All I got were from my mom and my optometrist.
Bart Simpson: That's a bill.
Milhouse: No, it's not! It has a heart stamp.
Bart Simpson: Why would a dude do everything a dame wants on Valentines Day?
Homer Simpson: It's a trade-off. We do whatever women want on Valentines Day, and they let us blow stuff up on the Fourth of July. I just hope the two don't fall on the same day.
Bart Simpson: According to the wisdom of our elders, if you ride the swing the whole way around, your body will turn inside out.
Milhouse: At last, my beauty will be on the outside!
Lisa Simpson: What happened to you? You were so brave at the dessert bar.
Nick: I sure was. I'm allergic to chocolate.
Bart Simpson: I don't want to be the guy who killed everyone's fun. That's Skinner's job.
Principal Skinner: Don't look at me. I didn't kill everyone's fun, fun killer.
Marge Simpson: It's a beautiful day outside. No more watching TV.
Bart Simpson: Little does she know that our viewing platforms are multi.
Jamie Hyneman: Tonight we take on the classic myth that a cat will always land on its feet.
Adam Savage: We didn't want to hurt a real cat so we took this Build-A-Bear carcass...
Jamie Hyneman: Stuffed it with ballistic gel, shot it with a 20 foot barrel steam cannon...
Adam Savage: And made a scatter plot of the remains. Booyah!
Jamie Hyneman: What was it we were trying to prove again?
Adam Savage: Don't know, don't care.