"The Big Bang Theory: The Flaming Spittoon Acquisition (#5.10)"
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The guys plus Amy (Mayim Bialik) head to the comic book store. Amy isn't all that impressed, thinking with Sheldon's (Jim Parsons) intellectual capacity, he could have a better hobbies, such as frequenting an opium den or hunting fellow humans for sport. But Sheldon points out storytelling through sequential art goes back 17,000 years, "and you play the harp...like that's cool." But since Stuart (Kevin Sussman) can't help Amy find a comic not depicting a woman whose bosom can be used as a flotation device (since they don't exist), she's out of luck. However, since Amy didn't look through Stuart with soul-sucking, ball-shriveling hatred and contempt, he wants to ask her out. He asks Leonard (Johnny Galecki) to get permission from Sheldon to ask Amy out. Although Leonard's in a bit of an argument with Howard (Simon Helberg) and Raj (Kunal Nayyar) right now over who would win in a battle between the White Wizard of the North from the Mystic Realm of Ka'a and Billy the Kid, as stupid of a discussion they all agree it is.

RAJ: Totally. I mean a six-shooter totally beats an old man with a wand.

Leonard goes home to ask Sheldon a question, which for some reason always comes back to Sheldon thinking Leonard should abandon his research and focus on his teaching. But after several minutes of rather condescending talk, Sheldon admits he doesn't own Amy so he has no objections. After all, he couldn't see a peddler of comic books drawing the interests of a noted neurobiologist like Amy. Over in Penny's (Kaley Cuoco) apartment, the discussion goes much more smoothly...about Stuart. The conversation about Amy wanting to play Twister with Penny and Bernadette (Melissa Rauch) is another story. But to be fair, Amy considered herself quite the expert at Twister and she wanted to see how well she'd do playing with others.

AMY: What do you say, Bestie? We can do shirts and skins. I'm shirts! Called it!

The three discuss Stuart's text. Bernadette thinks Amy is stepping out on Sheldon, but Penny thinks since she's been with Sheldon for a year and it hasn't gone anywhere, Amy should be free to check out her other options. Which she apparently does, as evidenced by the fact Stuart wasn't at the comic book store (and someone even scarier than Leonard's and Sheldon's love child was in charge). Leonard asks Sheldon if he is OK.

SHELDON: Leonard, I am on a lifelong trajectory that includes a Nobel prize and cities named after me. All four wisdom teeth fit comfortably in my mouth without need of extraction, and my bowel movements run like a German train schedule. Am I OK?

The guys kick back with a game of Wild West and Witches, and Sheldon even wore a hat, boots, and brought a spittoon for the occasion. Which the other guys find ridiculous, but Leonard tells them to ease up since Sheldon has to deal with Amy being on a date with Stuart. (HOWARD: Are you telling me that Sheldon's patented combination of condescension and no sex isn't enough to hold onto a woman?) Sheldon isn't jealous and actually thinks it's the guys who are obsessed. That could be, as Raj has now bought the deluxe signed edition of Wild West and Witches...just after Leonard, Howard, and he laid out $25 each for the regular pack. (But the deluxe set comes with a sheriff's badge that doubles as a magic wand.) Sheldon, meanwhile, checks Stuart's Facebook page to see how the date went, still denying he has any interest in how "sharing a pumpkin latte with a dynamite lady" went. And the guys trying to convince him he does have feelings for Amy just gets them unfriended by Sheldon on Facebook.

Sheldon goes to knock on Penny's door. (Funny one tonight.) Sheldon asks her to go on a date. ("Dining, dancing, maybe taking in a prize fight?") Of course, Penny realized Sheldon was trying to make Amy jealous to get her back, which Sheldon denies. ("I am not trying to get her back. But out of curiosity, what is a way?") Penny tells Sheldon to strap on a pair and talk to Amy. ("Strap on a pair of what? Skates?")

Sheldon finally straps a pair on and attends the movie Amy and Stuart are seeing. Sheldon admits he finds the thought of Amy sitting in a darkened theatre with a character like Stuart is repellent.

SHELDON: No offense, Stuart

STUART: None taken, but repellent is sort of a strong word.

AMY: Based on the currently-established parameters of our relationship, I can put myself in any repellent relationship I want.

STUART: (offended) Um...

SHELDON: Stuart, please. You're being rude.

Sheldon agrees to alter the paradigm of their relationship, provided nothing changes whatsoever, physical or otherwise, so Amy was no longer characterized as "not his girlfriend."

AMY: Interesting. Now try it without the quadruple negative.

SHELDON: (painfully) Amy ... will you be my girlfriend?

AMY: Yes

SHELDON: (quickly) Well, that's enough of that.

Sheldon takes off to let Amy complete her date. She later comes home to find Sheldon there and wonders how he got in. (SHELDON: Wow, is that the kind of nagging I can expect now that you're my girlfriend?) It turns out he arrived to have Amy sign a "relationship agreement." (31 pages in the span of 2 hours...impressive.) It's an agreement between Sheldon (herein referred to as the boyfriend) and Amy (herein referred to as the girlfriend).

AMY: (touched) It's so romantic

SHELDON: Mutual indemnification always is.

Oh, in case you're wondering how Twister would work between Penny, Amy, and Bernadette would work? Well, let's just say Penny's definition of "right hand-red" involves booze. But Sheldon needs Amy to take out a splinter under Section 4: Boo-boos and Ouchies.

AMY: I should've gotten a lawyer.

r73731


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