Grand Theft Auto V (2013 Video Game)
Michael De Santa: You... are a hipster!
Trevor Philips: What?
Michael De Santa: You're a hipster.
Trevor Philips: I hate hipsters.
Michael De Santa: Classic hipster denial.
Trevor Philips: I abhor hipsters. I eat them for fun!
Michael De Santa: Hipsters love saying they hate hipsters.
Trevor Philips: Well, I really fucking do!
Michael De Santa: Self hatred. Common hipster affliction.
Trevor Philips: Only because I'm living out here away from the Bean Machines, and the bankers?
Michael De Santa: You're gentrifying. Soon, the skinny jeans will show up, then the skinny lattes, and then the bankers. And you'll be somewhere else starting the cycle all over again. Maybe you're not a classic garden variety hipster, but you're what the hipsters aspire to be. You, Trevor, are the proto-hipster.
Trevor Philips: I don't know what you're talking about. I don't agree with what you're saying. You're talking bullshit. And you're trying to wind me up. But I'm very, very angry, and I want this conversation to stop right away.
Michael De Santa: Hipster.
Trevor Philips: Fuck you! Fuck you, Michael! Say it again!
Michael De Santa: I've made my point. I'm not a sadist.
Michael De Santa: You forget a thousand things every day, pal. Make sure this is one of 'em.
Dr. Isiah Friedlander: Your son, James. He's a good kid?
Michael De Santa: He's a good kid? A good kid? Why? Does he help the fucking poor? No. He sits on his ass all day, smoking dope and jerking off while he plays that fucking game. If that's our standard for goodness... then no wonder this country's screwed.
Michael De Santa: Why did I move here? I guess it was the weather. Or the... Ah, I don't know, that thing. That magic. You see it in the movies. I wanted to retire. From what I was doing, you know? From that, that... line of work. Be a good guy for once, a family man. So, I bought a big house. Came here, put my feet up, and thought I'd be a dad like all the other dads. My kids, would be like the kids on TV, we play ball and sit in the sun... But well, you know how it is.
Jimmy De Santa: Hey, let's bounce.
Michael De Santa: Bounce? We're bouncing now? Is that what we're doing? Jesus fucking Christ.
Trevor Philips: I gotta go meditate. Or masturbate. Or both.
Michael De Santa: [during a robbery] Ladies and gentlemen! This is your moment! Please don't make me ruin all the great work your plastic surgeons have been doing!
Lamar Davis: I'm getting my money in the hood, I'm straight, fool. I'm cool!
Franklin: You cool? Cool what? Slinging dope and throwing up gang signs?
Simeon Yetarian: You tell me exactly what you want, and I will very carefully explain to you why it cannot be.
Franklin: Fuck man, you know how it is, homie. You just start running and shit. Then all of a sudden your legs give in and you just can't run no more.
Michael De Santa: Surviving is winning, Franklin, everything else is bullshit. Fairy tales spun by people too afraid to look life in the eye. Whatever it takes, kid: survive.
Franklin: Damn straight.
Trevor Philips: I'll swing by and sign the contracts, alright? Just ignore the bodies!
Michael De Santa: You know, I've been in this game for a lot of years and I got out alive. If you want my advice - give the shit up.
Michael De Santa: I'm rich, I'm miserable - I'm pretty average for this town.
Michelle: [holding a flashlight while interrogating a prisoner] Next, I'll have this thing so far up your ass, your tonsils will be playing shadow puppets.
Trevor Philips: You're like every other asshole. You made a bit of money, and you became a turd.
Michael De Santa: I've got news for you, I was always a turd.
Trevor Philips: No! You weren't, man, you were something, but now, man, yeah, you're like this place, you're shell.
Michael De Santa: Go fuck yourself. Are you some kind of pure, morally justifiable asshole? What, because you're... You're totally psychotic, somehow it's okay?
Trevor Philips: I'm honest, alright? You're the hypocrite.
Michael De Santa: Oh, yeah, you're a fucking hero. So far above it all.
Trevor Philips: Oh, yeah? Well I'm not above ripping open your fucking chest to see what's replaced your heart!
Michael De Santa: Rip it open, see what's there, baby, 'cause I'm ready!
Elwood O'Neil: [over phone] Trevor Philips.
Trevor Philips: Elwood O'Neil, fuck you. Fuck you, fuck you, Fuck you!
Elwood O'Neil: Trevor, it's business.
Trevor Philips: That wide-eyed idiot was mine!
Elwood O'Neil: It's business, fella! You wanna discuss it, we're at the farm! Ernie, Earl, Walton, Wynn, Dale, Doyle, Daryl, Dan - all of us!
Trevor Philips: Start writing those names on tombstones, 'cause I'm on the way to your lab, and we're going to see how much of a family meth business you got when I'm done!
[hangs up and growls]
Trevor Philips: All! Of! You! Are! Going! To! Die!
Amanda De Santa: You are alone, you pathetic psychopath!
Trevor Philips: The guns and crank in this area go through Trevor Phillips Enterprises... or they ain't going!
Trevor Philips: You look like you struggle with simple tasks.
Ortega: What the fuck, Trevor?
Trevor Philips: This *is* the fuck, my soggy friend! You are out of business. The Lost MC are out of business. The guns and crank in this area go through Trevor Philips Enterprise, or they ain't going!