Homer Simpson: It's not illegal to sleep in a Tyrannosaurus head.
Security Guard: Sir, you're inside an allosaurus.
Homer Simpson: I demand to speak to my paleontologist!
Bart Simpson: The point of dinosaurs is that an asteroid is going to wipe us out no matter what we do, so we should just party hard and wreck the place.
Homer Simpson: Yeah, why should the asteroid have all the fun?
Homer Simpson: The king of fantasy novels in our fantasy novel writing team?
Bart Simpson: Okay, Gaiman, you're in. Your job is to get us lunch, and lose the British accent.
Neil Gaiman: Cheeseburgers! French fries! I'm all over that, pal!
Neil Gaiman: I'm so proud of us.
Bart Simpson: You didn't write any of it.
Neil Gaiman: That tuna didn't salad itself.
Neil Gaiman: You've heisted yourself up the best seller charts yet again. And the most brilliant part is, I don't even know how to read!
Lisa Simpson: You're group writing a fantasy novel? But the only reason to do that is for...
Lisa Simpson: Profit!
Homer Simpson: So what if people write for money? I don't see your boyfriend William Shakespeare missing many meals.
Lisa Simpson: I'll show you! I'll write my own novel all by myself.
Homer Simpson: You're gonna be all the guys? How does that work out?
Bart Simpson: It's good. Weekly Reader selections good.
Homer Simpson: I just hope we put in enough steampunk, whatever that is.
Bart Simpson: Whatever the job is, I'm not interested.
Homer Simpson: A million bucks has changed stupider minds than yours.
Bart Simpson: I like the beat. Play me the tune.
Homer Simpson: We're taking down kids who read.
Bart Simpson: Chapter-book crowd? That's a juicy peach, but what's the cream?
Homer Simpson: I'm putting together a tween-lit gang-write?
Bart Simpson: Tween-lit gang-write?
Homer Simpson: Tween-lit gang-write, but this Babar needs a Zephir.
Bart Simpson: A Zephir?
Homer Simpson: You're the Zephir.
Bart Simpson: This better not turn out like Kansas City.
Homer Simpson: It won't be like Kansas City.
Bart Simpson: [typed into the video game's high score list] I'm in.
Lisa Simpson: [Chases lady in dinosaur costume into dressing room] You're T.R Frances, you wrote the Angelica Button books. They're my favorite fantasy novel.
T.R Francis: [using fake British accent] Umm... yes it's me, the creator of your beloved magical world. Full of whimsy, and... ugh chapters, now off you go. Bye bye now.
Lisa Simpson: But why are you working at a dinosaur show, and why did you run away from me? And how did Angelica get a new wand, after Baron Morthdeath burn the wand wood forest, and...
T.R Francis: [Without the accent] Look, you seem like a smart kid, so here's the truth. T.R Frances isn't real.
Lisa Simpson: Of coarse, you're real. Everybody knows you got the idea for the series after the explosion of a crumpet factory knocked you off a double decker bus. How could that be made up?
T.R Francis: I'm just an actress they use for their jacket photo, that INSPIRATIONAL life story, is PURE FICTION. Oh I hate to break it to ya, but all the books you kids love are conceded in executive board rooms. The plots are based on market research, and the pages are turned out by a room full of pill-popping Lit majors, desperate for work. Publishers rake in the cash, and unsuspecting kids get 10 books a year from their favorite author.
Lisa Simpson: [Gasp] Everything I believed about young adult literature is a lie.
[Runs away crying]