- Randy Marsh: Shelley? Shelley! Shelley, come on. We have to go!
- Shelly Marsh: Dad, what are you doing here?
- Randy Marsh: Right now, Shelley! Shelley you are not watching this trash! Now, come on!
- [Audience]: Would you mind? I'm trying to enjoy this musical with my grand daughter!
- Randy Marsh: Oh you fucking pervert!
- Commercial announcer: The Book of Mormon! You'll get a blowjob.
- Andrew Lloyd Webber: How about instead of "Splooge-Drenched Blowjob Queen", we call it... "The Woman in White"?