Stiles: What's your plan?
Derek Hale: To... distract her.
Stiles: Oh yeah? How? By punching her in the face?
Derek Hale: By talking to her.
Stiles: All right, give me a sample. What are you going to open with?...
[Derek doesn't say anything]
Stiles: Dead silence. That should work beautifully. Any other ideas?
Derek Hale: Thinking about punching you in the face...
Coach Bobby Finstock: Stilinski! What the hell is wrong with your friend?
Stiles: Well, he's failing two classes, he's a little socially awkward, and if you look closely his jaw line is a little uneven.
Coach Bobby Finstock: Huh, interesting.
Coach Bobby Finstock: McCall! You come out of that goal one more time, and you'll be doing suicide runs until you die. It'll be the first ever suicide run that actually end in a suicide.
Coach Bobby Finstock: [after a bunch of chains fall out of Stiles' locker] Part of me wants to ask. The other part of me says knowing will be more disturbing than any I could ever imagine. So... I'm gonna walk away.
Scott McCall: I swear I don't have the urge to maim and kill you.
Stiles: You know, you say that now. But then the full Moon goes up and out come the fangs and the claws and there's a lot of howling and screaming and running everywhere, OK? It's very stressful on me! So yes, I'm still locking you up.
Stiles: [after Derek stops a werewolf from attacking] How did you do that?
Derek Hale: I'm the Alpha.
Danny: [after Scot knocks him over and sniffs him] It's Armani.
Scott McCall: What?
Danny: My aftershave. Armani.
Scott McCall: Oh. It's nice.
Sheriff Stilinski: You're telling me that you knew Isaac's father was hitting him?
Jackson: Hitting him? He was kicking the crap out of him.
Sheriff Stilinski: Did you ever say anything to anyone? A teacher, parents, anyone?
Jackson: Nope. It's not my problem.
Sheriff Stilinski: No, no, of course not. You know, it's funny that the kids getting beaten up are always the ones who least deserve it.
Allison Argent: You really don't remember anything?
Lydia Martin: They called it a fugue state, which is basically a way of saying "We have no idea why you can't remember running through the woods naked for two days." But personally, I don't care. I lost nine pounds.
Allison Argent: [about to enter the school] Are you ready for this?
Lydia Martin: Please. It's not like my aunt's a serial killer.
[as soon as they step inside everyone turns and stares]
Allison Argent: Maybe it's the nine pounds.
Mr. Argent: I haven't been in history class for awhile, but I'm pretty sure straight-up genocide hasn't worked out too often.
Scott McCall: You saw the lacrosse thing today.
Derek Hale: Yeah.
Scott McCall: Did it look that bad?
Derek Hale: Yeah.
Mrs. Victoria Argent: Are you aware there's been an alarming drop in academic achievement and test scores over the past few semesters?
Principal: Excuse me?
Mrs. Victoria Argent: It's led the parents of Beacon Hills to the unfortunate conclusion that you may no longer be suited to the position of school principal.
Principal: You can't fire me!
Mrs. Victoria Argent: True. But we can torture you.
Coach Bobby Finstock: McCall! The position's goal keeper. Not goal abandoner.