Community (TV Series)
Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism (2011)
Yvette Nicole Brown: Shirley Bennett
Photos
Quotes
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Jeff Winger : You know, I just thought... next time those deutsche-bags try to show off, maybe I can catch them by surprise.
Shirley Bennett : Jeff, you don't have to worry about what foreigners think of you. That's your birthright as an American.
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Juergen : We came to play. Get away from our table.
Shirley Bennett : We're using it, strudel-brain.
Jeff Winger : Nice.
Juergen : Then play us for it.
Shirley Bennett : Fine. Monday morning... only let's make it interesting. The losers never get to use this table again.
Juergen : Oh, you are so on that things have now become very much like Donkey Kong.
Juergen : We're gonna kick das butt.
Shirley Bennett : Nice.
Jeff Winger : Thank you.
Juergen : Enough teutonic punnery. Monday morning you get this...
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Jeff Winger : Shirley... I'm gonna be perfectly blunt with you. The few times that you've been a little bad are the times I've liked you most.
Shirley Bennett : [smiles] Really?
Jeff Winger : Remember making fun of Britta's boyfriend's tiny nipples?
Shirley Bennett : [giggles] Oh, yeah, they were tiny.
Jeff Winger : Remember what you did to Pierce's hoagie? That was so disturbing, I almost proposed on the spot. Now, come on, show me how to dominate.
Shirley Bennett : All right, Winger...
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Jeff Winger : [a horrified face appears as he points his finger accusingly at Shirley] You were Big Cheddar?
Shirley Bennett : Who told you that...
[shock of recognition covers her face]
Shirley Bennett : Oh, dear lord. You're tinkle-town?
Jeff Winger : Don't call me that.
[rises from the table]
Jeff Winger : All your fake sweetness and religion is just a veil covering a horrible monster.
[turns to storm out, after 3 steps turns again shouting]
Jeff Winger : And I had a lot of Mountain Dew that day!
[exits]
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Karl : [german accent] Tell you what, we'll stop playing, if you can score a point on us.
Jeff Winger : Tempting, but then wouldn't I be playing foosball? And, if so, how would I not be a loud, weird knob?
Juergen : [german accent] Free shot. I'm not even touching the foosenschaften.
Jeff Winger : Sorry, luftballons. I'm above it.
[Jeff turns to exit, spins back and attempts a shot which fails]
Karl , Lukas : [men cheering] Boo-yah!
Juergen : I wish there was a word to describe the pleasure I feel at viewing misfortune.
[schadenfreude]
Lukas : 'Tis the face of a broken man.
Britta Perry : Jeff. Smile.
[electrical popping from Totorola which catches fire]
Britta Perry : Uh, uh...
Shirley Bennett : Ooh!
Britta Perry : They, uh... they come in a six-pack.
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Jeff Winger : [sigh] Okay... small confession. I used to love foosball. It was a great after-school game for a lonely kid with no dad... you know, just masculine enough without having to know how to throw or catch.
Shirley Bennett : I have seen you throw.
Jeff Winger : And it was fun... till I started getting bullied by people like those Germans. So I quit.
Shirley Bennett : Well, you did the right thing. Foosball is a vile game for
[voice lowers]
Shirley Bennett : vile people.
Jeff Winger : Shirley, you wouldn't get it. It's a guy thing. It's not a fresh-baked-pie thing.
Shirley Bennett : Well, I might get it a little.
[Shirley proceeds to demonstrate her foosball prowess]
Shirley Bennett : You don't know me.
Jeff Winger : [under his breath] Ho... ly... crap.
