My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic (TV Series)
The Mysterious Mare Do Well (2011)
Ashleigh Ball: Applejack, Rainbow Dash
Quotes
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Rainbow Dash : [Rainbow Dash has just rescued a baby pony and its carriage from running off a cliff] Oh no! There's something wrong with the baby!
[crowd gasps]
Rainbow Dash : She's not cheering for everypony's favorite hero, Rainbow Dash!
[everypony cheers and takes pictures]
Scootaloo : There just aren't enough words in the dictionary to describe Rainbow Dash's awesomeness.
Twilight Sparkle : I can think of a few new words.
Applejack : And I bet "modest" is not one of them.
Twilight Sparkle : No, but she is kinda awesome.
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Rainbow Dash : Never fear, your friendly neighborhood Rainbow Dash is here!
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Scootaloo : [first lines, in the Cutie Mark Crusaders' tree/clubhouse] Attention, everypony! Attention! The official Rainbow Dash Fan Club will come to order. Let's get right down to our first order of business. I motion that Rainbow Dash be declared the most awesome pony in Ponyville.
Snails : I second the motion, and might I add that if you looked up the word "awesome" in the dictionary, there would be a picture of Rainbow Dash.
[ponies agreeing]
Snips : I object!
[collective gasp]
Snips : I think the word 'awesome' is played out! Rainbow Dash deserves better! I motion that we declare her the most stupendous pony!
Scootaloo : "Stupendous"? Is that the best you've got? I motion that we declare her... wonderiffic!
Snips : Astonishing!
Scootaloo : Breathtaking!
Snips : Astounding!
Scootaloo : Bedazzling!
Rainbow Dash : [from outside the clubhouse] What about super-ultra-extreme-awesomazing?
[ponies agreeing]
Scootaloo : All in favor of declaring Rainbow Dash the most "super-ultra-extra-ah- whatever you said" pony in all of Ponyville, say "aye"!
Fan club : Aye!
Rainbow Dash : [giggles]
-
Rainbow Dash : And then, I zoomed into the well. I knew it would be dark and dangerous, but I didn't let that stop me. Danger's my middle name. Rainbow "Danger" Dash. Thinking back on it, I acted pretty awesomely heroic that day.
Spike : [writing everything she says] That day.
Applejack : Awesomely heroic that day and awesomely *arrogant* ever since.
Pinkie Pie , Twilight Sparkle : Mm-hm.
Rainbow Dash : Hey, Applejack. How'd you like to be *immortalized* as my friend?
[grabs her closer in an awkward embrace]
Applejack : Immorta-what?
[camera clicking]
Twilight Sparkle : [to Spike] Are you taking notes?
Spike : Yup! I've been hoof-picked by Rainbow Dash herself, to write her autobiography!
Twilight Sparkle : Umm, autobiographies are supposed to be written *by* the pony they are about...
Rainbow Dash : Maybe for your normal, run-of-the-mill ponies. But I'm far too busy saving lives to stop and write. That's why I hired Spike as my ghost writer.
Pinkie Pie : [yelps] Spike's a ghost!
[she zips out of the room]
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Pony : Holy turnips, that pony came outta nowhere!
Daisy : I've never seen such bravery in all my life!
Mayor Mare : That's right! Ponyville has a new hero. A mysterious mare that has done well by our fair city today. I dub this new masked hero "The Mysterious Mare Do Well"!
[ponies cheering]
Rainbow Dash : Mare Do Well, huh? Well that mare would do well to stay outta my way! Ponyville's only got room for one hero, and that hero is me!
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Rainbow Dash : [flying near a cart full of ponies careening down a steep hill] Never fear, your friendly neighborhood Rainbow...
Stallion tourist : Excuse me, uh, do you think you could skip your catchphrase and just hurry up and save us?
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Applejack : Gotta hand it to the girl, that Mare Do Well sure can pull off some pretty heroic feats.
Twilight Sparkle : I must say, I was impressed by that spell she used to fix the dam. Seems like something like that would take quite a bit of study.
[Rainbow Dash growls]
Fluttershy : She really cares about everypony's safety.
Rarity : Have you *seen* her costume? It is to die for! If you ask me she's a hero of fashion.
Applejack : *And* she's modest *and* humble. She lets her actions speak for themselves. Gotta admire that.
Rainbow Dash : I *don't* have to admire that! I don't think she's all that great!
Spike : [writing] She's... great.
Rainbow Dash : I didn't say that.
Twilight Sparkle : Sounds like somepony's jealous.
Rainbow Dash : Who, me?
Spike : [writing] Rainbow Dash is jealous.
Rainbow Dash : Don't write that, Spike!
[others laughing]
Spike : Correction: Rainbow Dash is *very* jealous.
Rainbow Dash : Fine! Laugh all you want, but I'll be the one laughing when I prove to you all that I'm just as good- no, that I'm a *better* hero than Mare Do Well!
[angrily flies away as the others make different exasperated looks]
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Rainbow Dash : Rrgh, there are absolutely no freak natural disasters going on anywhere! How am I supposed to prove myself when everything's so normal and safe?
[gasps; sees Granny Smith about to cross the street]
Rainbow Dash : Hold it right there, Granny Smith! You don't have to pretend with me. I can see that you're in way over your head here.
Granny Smith : [mumbling, deploying an ear trumpet] Eh, what's that?
Rainbow Dash : You're putting on a brave face, I get it. But you don't have to anymore. I'll help you cross the street!
Granny Smith : [She gets her head behind Granny's rump and starts bulldozing, prompting the latter to grunt angrily and dig in her hooves] Actually I can cross the street just fine!
Rainbow Dash : [with effort] Don't worry. You're in extremely capable hooves!
Granny Smith : [Granny resists] Back off!
Rainbow Dash : [panting and being overly-obvious with her subtext] Here we are! Safe and sound. A good and heroic citizen deserves a little recognition, *don't you think*?
Granny Smith : I didn't wanna cross the street in the first place!
[complains and walks squeakily away]
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Rainbow Dash : [grunting is heard from offscreen] Somepony's in trouble!
[Sparkler, a unicorn, is trying to open a jar of peanut butter. She is having a picnic with Tootsie Flute, a younger filly]
Rainbow Dash : Better let me handle this, ma'am. For your own safety, I must ask you to stand back!
Sparkler : [wearily] Oh, brother.
[Rainbow Dash tries to open the jar with her mouth and teeth, but with no success. Sparkler levitates the jar away from Rainbow, taps it against the edge of a nearby fountain, and re-presents the jar to Rainbow. Rainbow is now able to pop the lid off effortlessly]
Rainbow Dash : Ta-da!
[Sparkler floats it back to herself]
Sparkler : [spreading on bread] Uh... thanks.
Rainbow Dash : How would you describe what I just did? Would you say I was amazing?
Sparkler : Aren't you milking this a bit?
Rainbow Dash : Please, just answer the question. Was I or was I not amazing?
Sparkler : [annoyed] Oh, you're amazing alright. An amazingly...
Rainbow Dash : Oh look!
[she zips over to an push-style cylinder lawn mower and begins pushing it all over an area of the lawn, trimming it down]
Rainbow Dash : Another great feat of heroism! I have just saved that grass!
Groundskeeper : From what?
[she crouches to eye it closely]
Rainbow Dash : From weeds! Weeds that were attempting to eat this lawn!
Tootsie Flute : [several other unimpressed ponies have gathered to watch the spectacle] Lame...
[everypony walks away, one mutters "whatever"]
Rainbow Dash : [depressed] Aww, who am I kidding?
-
Twilight Sparkle : Celebrating your accomplishments is natural. But...
Applejack : ...Rubbin' them in everypony's face is not.
Pinkie Pie : Yeah, the only thing that should be rubbed in anypony's face is chocolate cake.
[she begins licking her front hooves]
Applejack : I think we're getting off topic here.
Twilight Sparkle : What we're trying to say is, it's great to be really good at something, but it's important to act with grace and humility.
Rainbow Dash : Ohhhh. That makes *loads* more sense. Yeah. You're right. And I guess I should've also acted with grace and humility when others outshine me. Like Mare Do Well.
Twilight Sparkle : Sounds like you've got a letter to write to Princess Celestia.
Spike : [Approaches Rainbow Dash] Already got it covered! As your ghost writer, I already penned a letter to the Princess!
Rainbow Dash : That's nice of you, Spike, but, I really wanna write this letter myself.
Spike : Awww... come on! I wrote the whole thing already!
[opens the scroll and holds it in front of Rainbow Dash]
Rainbow Dash : Okay, let's hear it.
Spike : [clears throat] Dear Princess Cel...
Rainbow Dash : [Suddenly points behind Spike] Look out! It's a real ghost!
[Spike and Pinkie Pie look the way she's pointing and scream and run away, everypony else laughs, then Twilight Sparkle levitates a scroll and quill in front of Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash grabs the quill with her mouth, then winks to the viewers before the screen draws to a close]
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Rainbow Dash : [after chasing Mare Do Well throughout Ponyville, she soon manages to tackle her and pins her to the ground] All right, Miss Mysterious. Mystery...
[pulls the mask off with her mouth]
Rainbow Dash : solved!
[looks to see who's under the mask and is shocked]
Rainbow Dash : Wha?
[Camera cuts to reveal it's Pinkie Pie under the mask, who makes a nervous smile]
Rainbow Dash : P-p-p-Pinkie? Whadidya, whadida, whadda, huh?
[a second Mare Do Well approaches and unmasks, revealing it's Twilight Sparkle]
Rainbow Dash : Twilight?
[a third Mare Do Well approaches and unmasks, revealing Applejack]
Rainbow Dash : Applejack? There were three of you?
Twilight Sparkle : Yep, we all played Mare Do Well at different times.
Applejack : I stopped the carriage bus with these babies,
[gestures to her back legs]
Applejack : Bucky McGillicudy and Kicks McGee.
Pinkie Pie : And I saved the construction workers with my Pinkie Sense.
[her tail suddenly twitches then she quickly moves and pushes Rainbow Dash out of the way of a flowerpot that falls off a windowsill]
Pony : [Looking down from the window] Sorry!
Pinkie Pie : It's okay.
Twilight Sparkle : And I used my magic to fix the dam.
[magically levitates her Mare Do Well hat over her head]
Fluttershy : [Runs up beside Twilight Sparkle] Ooh! Ooh! And I did that flyby afterwards.
Rarity : [Approaches Rainbow Dash] And I made the costumes, fabulous if I do say so myself.
Rainbow Dash : I don't understand... why? Don't you want me to be a hero?
Twilight Sparkle : Of course we want you to be a hero.
Applejack : But a real hero doesn't brag!
[winks]
Rainbow Dash : I guess I did start to brag a little...
Rarity , Pinkie Pie , Applejack , Twilight Sparkle , Fluttershy : A little?
Rainbow Dash : Okay... a lot.
