Rainbow Dash: [to the assembled animals] So! You all think you've got what it takes to be my pet, do ya? Well, we'll just see about that! If any of you don't think you can handle it, bow out now before you humiliate yourself in front of your peers. This competition isn't for the weak. You'd better be prepared to step up your game!
[to the butterfly]
Rainbow Dash: You call that flapping?
[the butterfly flaps harder]
Rainbow Dash: That's better. There's only room on Team Dash for one of you, and my future pet needs to be able to take it to the extreme! Any questions?
Applejack: [observing a ways away] I got one. Does she understand what a pet really needs?
Twilight Sparkle: Yeah, like care and attention, love and affection-
[Winona hops up and licks her face]
Twilight Sparkle: Ugh! And breath mints!
Rainbow Dash: [In a dream, Rainbow Dash sees a mashup of her friends' pets' body parts - such as Gummy's body with Owloysius' wings, Angel's head, and Opalescence coming out of Angel's mouth - flying around with her] Okay, this is officially beyond weird now and right on down to freaky town.
Rainbow Dash: What are you all doing out here?
Applejack: Why, we always round up our critters for a regular ol' Pony Pet Playdate in this park.
Rainbow Dash: Uh, you do?
Applejack: Same time every week.
Fluttershy: I thought you knew. You didn't know?
[to the others]
Fluttershy: She didn't know?
Twilight Sparkle: Well, we had initially planned on inviting Rainbow, of course, except...
Pinkie Pie: We were *totally* gonna invite you, Rainbow, then Twilight remembered that you don't even have a pet, and Rarity remembered that you really like to take naps in the afternoon, so Applejack figured you wouldn't be missing out on anything anyway, and Fluttershy and I nodded our heads in agreement like this.
[Pinkie pushes Fluttershy's head up and down in a nodding motion. Fluttershy continues to do so during her next line, her entire body rocking as well]
Fluttershy: Oh, please don't be mad at us.
Rainbow Dash: Oh, I'm not mad. You all are right. Not much point of a Pony Pet Playdate for me if I'm a pony without a pet, right?
Fluttershy: [singing] Now, Rainbow my dear, I cannot express my delight/It's abundantly clear/That somewhere out here/Is a pet that will suit you just right.
Rainbow Dash: [singing] I can't wait to get started,/but first let me set a few rules/It's of utmost importance/The pet that I get/Is something that's awesome and cool!
Rainbow Dash: [singing] Fluttershy, pal, this won't cut it/I need a pet to keep up with me/Something awesome, something flying/With coolness that defies gravity!
Rainbow Dash: [singing] The bat would be awesome, but the wasp I'm digging too/Do you have something in a yellow-striped bat?
Fluttershy: [singing] No,/I've got a hot pink flamingo, just dying to meet you.
Rainbow Dash: What to do, what to do. Ahh!/A prize! That's it! There's really just one way/To find out which animal's best/Hold a contest, of speed, agility and guts/That will put each pet to the test!
Fluttershy: Don't forget style, that should be considered!
Rainbow Dash: Then we'll know for sure who's best of the litter!
Fluttershy: The one who is awesome and cool
Rainbow Dash: Just like me/Can't settle for less, 'cause I'm the best
Rainbow Dash: Who's the number one, greatest, perfectest pet in the
Fluttershy: May the games
Rainbow Dash: [spoken] And may the best pet win!
Rainbow Dash: Alright, now these games will determine which one of you has the most important qualities I'm looking for in a pet. Speed, agility, guts, style. Coolness. Awesomeness. And radicalness.
Twilight Sparkle: Aren't those all the same thing?
Rainbow Dash: You would think that, Twilight. And that's why you would never qualify to be my pet.
[Rainbow pats Twilight's head]
Rainbow Dash: [to the tortoise] Wanna know the opposite of agility? That.
Rainbow Dash: So, anyway, you're all outstanding competitors, but there can only be one of you who's number one. So the final, tie-breaking contest is going to be... pause for dramatic effect... a race against me! Through Ghastly Gorge! Dun dun dun!
Rainbow Dash: [eagle cries] Gesundheit.
Rainbow Dash: ["Ride of the Valkyries" begins to play] Actually, Ghastly Gorge isn't scary. It's fun. Heh. I've flown through it a million times myself, so, obviously I'll be at the front of the pack. But whichever of you make it across the finish line with me will have proven you can keep up with me, and will have earned the honor, and glory, of getting to be my pet! Ready? Set go!
Rainbow Dash: [Rainbow Dash has been pinned under a rock slide by her wing and is now trapped] C'mon... no! Wait! Come back! Don't leave me! I'm the one who's supposed to win! I don't wanna end up stuck here... forever! Oh no, nonono, th-this can't be happening. Forever is way too long to be trapped in Ghastly Gorge. I mean, it's like, forever! Somepony! Anypony! Help me!
Pinkie Pie: Wait! Look!
Fluttershy: It's the turtle!
Pinkie Pie: [the falcon won Rainbow Dash's race, thus supposedly earning the right to be Rainbow's pet] You got your perfect pet, right?
Fluttershy: The best of the best like you wanted, remember? It can fly and it's not a squirrel! Should we sing about it again?
Applejack: A falcon sure looks good on ya, Rainbow.
Rainbow Dash: [the tortoise is surprised by a camera flash] Easy, fella. Nothing to be afraid of. The falcon sure does looks cool... he's absolutely everything I wanted in a pet.
Rainbow Dash: But I said whoever crosses the finish line *with* me gets to be my pet.
Pinkie Pie: You did! You did say that! She did say that, that was the rule!
Rainbow Dash: And the only racer who crossed the finish line with me, was the one who stopped to save me when I needed help. The tortoise!
Rainbow Dash: Spike, take a letter. "Dear Princess Celestia, I used to think that the most important traits to look for in a pet, or any best friend, were all physical competitive abilities. But now I can see how short-sighted and shallow that was. Today I learned what the most important quality really is. A certain kind of spirit. A stick-to-it-ive-ness. A never give up, can-do attitude that's the mark of a real winner. And this tortoise has it."
Twilight Sparkle: Tenacity.
Rainbow Dash: Gesundheit. You just can't stop that little guy. He's like a... like a... tank!
Fluttershy: But Rainbow! You didn't want a pet that couldn't fly because it would keep you grounded and hold you back, remember?
Rainbow Dash: Hmm...
Rainbow Dash: [the next day, the six friends come back to the park with their pets, and Rainbow Dash is with them, with her new pet tortoise] Heh. C'mon, Tank! We're gonna be late for our very first Pony Pet Playdate!
[Tank follows her in a helicopter-propeller suit on his shell, powered by magic, that lets him fly anywhere]