Their relationship on the rocks, a young Brooklyn couple heads to a remote B&B to work things out. But from the moment they arrive at The Happy House it's one disaster after another, and ...
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Former high school friends run into each other years later and drunkenly decide to make good on their promise to marry each other if they're both still single by 30 - Only to discover too ... See full summary »
Two male actors/close friends want to jumpstart their careers. They end up making a big shot producer think that they have a hot script that everyone wants to get their hands on. The 2 men ... See full summary »
The Seasoning House: where young girls are prostituted to the military. An orphaned deaf mute is enslaved to care for them. She moves between the walls and crawlspaces, showing the little kindnesses when she can. When fate brings the men that murdered her family and the reason she ended up in the whore house, a chain of events begins that will end her captivity, free the girls still alive in the ... See full summary »
Their relationship on the rocks, a young Brooklyn couple heads to a remote B&B to work things out. But from the moment they arrive at The Happy House it's one disaster after another, and they soon begin to suspect they've wandered into a real life horror movie. Events escalate from weird to terrifying as they contend with the house's batty owner, her imposing son, a moody Swedish lepidopterist, a pedantic English professor, an extraordinarily rare butterfly, the world's best blueberry muffins, a .44 Magnum, a demented serial killer, and one very strict rulebook. Written by
The writer, director, casting director, and actors are all disconnected. The dialog is forced. Every actor in this debacle could not even make it into a senior citizen's life insurance commercial. It's almost as if this was set in an antiquated upper New England play house with very little draw. All, through the movie, you anticipate that there will be a slip of the camera and catch a cue card. Lines are memorized to the point of death. No heart in this, no feeling, and overplayed theatrics. But for the language, minor gore, and sexual innuendos, this plays out like a Mormon independent film. The suspense soundtrack sounds as if the producer let a five year old relative have creative control out of pity. The bad language is also forced. It is as if they took acting cues from the word of the day in Pee Wee's Playhouse. It would be more convincing if at the end, there was a credit that explained that aliens from another planet tried to mimic human life in New England and this was their final product. Plays out like a very bad joke that has been grossly lost in translation. The trilling part of this movie was when it was finally over so that I could honestly review it. Believe me, I tried to like this, I wanted to believe it would get better, but there is no funny, no scary, and has all the trappings of a depressed teenagers attempt at a screenplay. As it hops around with little coherence, the plot is too predictable. Oh, did I mention that the soundtrack sounds as if it was done by a five year old? Has cinema gotten so low?
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