Lord Varys: You will be pleased to know our mutual friend is doing quite well in Lady Sansa's service.
Tyrion Lannister: Good. One of my better ideas.
Lord Varys: And it seems the Grand Maester has found his way into a black cell?
Lord Varys: Well played, my lord Hand. But should I be worried? Janos Slynt, Pycelle... the small council grows smaller every day.
Tyrion Lannister: The council has a reputation for serving past Hands poorly. I don't mean to follow Ned Stark to the grave.
Lord Varys: Power is a curious thing, my lord. Are you fond of riddles?
Tyrion Lannister: Why? Am I about to hear one?
Lord Varys: Three great men sit in a room: a king, a priest, and a rich man. Between them stands a common sellsword. Each great man bids the sellsword kill the other two. Who lives, who dies?
Tyrion Lannister: Depends on the sellsword.
Lord Varys: Does it? He has neither crown, nor gold, nor favor with the gods.
Tyrion Lannister: He has a sword, the power of life and death.
Lord Varys: But if it's swordsmen who rule, why do we pretend kings hold all the power? When Ned Stark lost his head, who was truly responsible? Joffrey? The executioner? Or something else?
Tyrion Lannister: I've decided I don't like riddles.
Lord Varys: [pause] Power resides where men believe it resides. It's a trick. A shadow on the wall. And a very small man can cast a very large shadow.
[Theon talks with his father about sending him to Winterfell when he was a child]
Theon Greyjoy: You act as if I volunteered to go. You gave me away, if you remember. The day you bent the knee to Robert Baratheon. After he crushed you. Did he take what was yours then.
[Balon slaps Theon]
Theon Greyjoy: You gave me away! Your boy! Your last boy! You gave me away like I was some dog you didn't want anymore. And now you curse me because I've come home.
[Sansa is dining with Cersei, Myrcella and Tommen]
Tommen Baratheon: Is Joffrey going to kill Sansa's brother?
Cersei Lannister: He might. Would you like that?
Tommen Baratheon: No. I don't think so.
Tyrion Lannister: You disappoint me, Grand Maester.
Grand Maester Pycelle: I am your loyal servant.
Tyrion Lannister: So loyal that you told the queen about my plans to send Myrcella to Dorne.
Grand Maester Pycelle: No! Never! It's a falsehood! I swear it! It wasn't me! Ah, Varys. It was Varys, the spideeeerr!
Tyrion Lannister: See, I told Varys that I was giving the princess to the Greyjoys. I told Littlefinger I planned to wed her to Robyn Arryn. I told no one that I was offering her to the Dornish. No one but you.
Grand Maester Pycelle: The eunuch has spies everywhere.
Tyrion Lannister: Cut off his manhood and feed it to the goats.
Timett: There are no goats, halfman.
Tyrion Lannister: Well make do!
Tyrion Lannister: [to Pycelle] How long have you been spying for my sister?
Grand Maester Pycelle: All I did, I did for House Lannister! Always! Your Lord father, ask him. I've always been his servant, since the days of the Mad King.
Tyrion Lannister: [casually to Bronn] I don't like his beard.
Grand Maester Pycelle: What? No, no!
[Bronn cuts off Pycelle's beard with a blade]
[Catelyn and her escorts arrive at Renly's camp, where a tournament is held: Loras Tyrell fights another knight. Loras is armed with axe, while his opponent uses a flail. Renly and his queen Margaery are watching. The crowd cheers for the opponents, mostly for Loras. Margaery stands on her feet and cheers for her brother]
Margaery Tyrell: Loras! Highgarden!
[Loras knocks his opponent's shield away, then the flail. The other knight charges at Loras, grabs him by the waist and knocks him to the ground. The crowd boos in disapproval. Loras' opponent opens his visor and holds a dagger near his unprotected face]
Loras Tyrell: I yield! I yield!
[Margaery sits down, disappointed at her brother's defeat. The winning knight stands and sheathes the dagger. Loras stands and quickly moves away from his opponent]
Renly Baratheon: [claps his hands] Well fought! Approach.
[Loras removes his helmet. His opponent approaches Renly and bows]
Renly Baratheon: Rise. Remove your helm.
[the knight rises and removes the helmet. Catelyn and the rest of the crowd are surprised to see it is a woman - Brienne of Tarth]
Renly Baratheon: You are all your father promised and more, my lady. I've seen Ser Loras bested once or twice, but... never quite in that fashion.
[Loras is visibly annoyed to hear that]
Margaery Tyrell: Now, now, my love. My brother fought valiantly for you.
[Renly smiles at his queen]
Renly Baratheon: That he did, my queen. But there can be only one champion! Brienne of Tarth, you may ask anything of me you desire. If it is within my power, it is yours.
Brienne of Tarth: [bows gracefully] Your Grace, I ask the honor of a place in your Kingsguard.
[the crowd gasps, for this is unprecedented request]
Loras Tyrell: [quietly] What?
Brienne of Tarth: I will be one of your seven, pledge my life to yours, and keep you safe from all harm.
[after long moment of silence, Renly answers:]
Renly Baratheon: Done! Rise, Brienne of the Kingsguard.
[Renly claps his hands, and Margaery joins him. The crowd applauds, but rather feebly. Brienne stands. Catelyn and one of her escorts approach]
Lord Varys: Power resides where men believe it resides.
The beggar: Money can't buy you happines.
[Yoren just learnt of the dreams Arya has of her father's execution]
Yoren: You know, we've got something in common, me and you. You know that? I must have been a couple of years older than you. I saw my brother stabbed through the heart right on our doorstep. He weren't much of a villain what skewered him. Willem, the lad's name was. He ran off before anyone could spit. And I just stood there, watching my brother die. Here's the funny part. I can't picture my brother's face anymore. But Willem, oh, he was a nice-looking boy. He had good white teeth, blue eyes, one of those dimpled chins all the girls like. I would think about him when I was working, when I was drinking, when I was having a shit. It got to the point where I would say his name every night before I went to bed. Willem. Willem. Willem. A prayer almost. Well, one day, Willem came riding back into town. I buried an ax so deep in Willem's skull they had to bury him with it. Willem's horse got me to the Wall and I've been wearing black ever since. That'll help you sleep, eh?