Swash and unbuckle. In 1763, the Caribbean is awash in pirates. The worst is Stagnetti, backed by his bloodthirsty first mate, Serena. He wants the Scepter of Inca, which gives its owner ... See full summary »
Pirate hunter Captain Edward Reynolds and his blond first mate, Jules Steel, return where they are recruited by a shady governor general to find a darkly sinister Chinese empress pirate, ... See full summary »
Michelle A. Sinclair
Heiress Lisa Carson, girlfriend to Bruce Wayne, is kidnapped by the Riddler. A call on the bat-phone summons Batman and Robin to police headquarters. A flick of the switch hidden in a bust ... See full summary »
Nerdy roommates and their socially inept friends apply the scientific method to their shared inability to attract women. After much calculation their solution: Tell women what they want to hear. The new plan is wildly successful.
Stupid plot, lame acting and yet more of Star Wars than Disney and JJ Abe could come up with
It is a sad thing to admit but this is the best Star Wars movie (not counting fan movies) made in this millennium. Here was the thought process: How can you take important iconic design elements of a venerable and beloved movie franchise and twist it into a cheap porn parody that 'viewers' will still recognize as Star Wars? It takes some understanding of the source material to pull that off and the makers of this thing actually did a better job than Disney. It might be primitive, lame and stupid but at least they understand their audience and the nagging little voice watching the original trilogy "I wonder how this princess looks under that nice white robe thingy?". They understand that archaic and women-objectifying part of me and deliver. I'm not proud of it but I get material which is true to the original movies. That teenager of many years ago who looked forward to seeing Leia in a metal bikini meets people who understand that boy and the sci-fi world where such fantasies come from. Disney made a mockery of Star Wars with "The Force awakens" in order to launch a new series of plastic toys and Star Wars images on various products in order to make me buy crap I don't need. Honestly, I wish they had simply designed a light-sabre shaped dildo and sold it on a box saying: Yes, we DO want to screw your childhood.....again. Man, do I feel old. I wrote a review for a porn movie to find the last traces of the original Star Wars magic. I guess it's just the frustration over Disney getting a divorce from my generation in order to run off with one of those hot and new Millennials.
6 of 9 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful to you?