Robin's talking to a therapist. It's court-mandated. Robin explains how she's had to watch Barney woo Nora, sending her flowers and balloons and visiting her office to serenade her with "When a Man Loves a Woman." All the other women in the office, particularly Patrice, think Barney is dreamy.
Robin wound up drunk under her desk after the serenading.
Meanwhile, Ted is questioning Lily's doctor's advice. Dr. Sonya pretty lets Lily have "just a little bit" of anything she wants -- wine, sushi, Cheetos.
Robin continues to explain to her therapist (played by Kal Penn) that she recommended Nora when her boss, Sandy Rivers (played by Alexis Denisof), wanted to find a producer to cover the G-8 Summit in France. Even though she suggested Nora herself, Robin wasn't pleased when Sandy said he was going to ask Nora anyway, and added that he wants to sleep with Nora. Robin continues to talk about her friends, even after the therapist asks her to expand on those feelings of rejection.
Lily is upset that Ted's getting too involved in her and Marshall's intimate moments -- just like he did in college, walking in on them while they were getting busy, despite the universal "sock on the door."
Robin continues telling the therapist that when Nora was just about to leave for France, she told Barney that earlier in their relationship she would've been worried about leaving Barney on his own. He sees a blonde at the bar holding a flier with Barney's picture and phone number on it and ushers Nora out the door. When Nora leaves, the woman comes up to Barney, calling him "doctor," and asks for her free breast-reduction consultation. She flashes her breasts and asks if they're "too big."
Barney tells the gang that he's been good, he just forgot about his "BDSs" -- "Bimbo Delivery Systems." Over the years, he's placed ads online encouraging women to see him for breast-reduction consultations.
Robin's about to continue with the story when the therapist says he's glad she didn't go on about Ted, Marshall and Lily. She then proceeds to talk about Marshall, Lily and Ted. Marshall's feeling bad for having rejected Ted, and he's having "just a little bit" of second thoughts about Dr. Sonya.
Robin goes back to the Barney story, where she's helping Barney pack up all the things he's used to trick women into sleeping with him. And Port Authority Mitch has called back. Barney tells Mitch that he'll no longer be needing his services, which were to alert Barney when innocent actresses arrived in New York with dreams and "no idea what a 'casting director' could legally ask her to do, hold or lift during an audition."
Ted gets to the bar and Marshall tells him he wants him back on "Team Baby." Lily's shocked. Ted wants them to go to a birthing class, but Lily thinks it's too soon. Marshall says that if she doesn't go, he's withholding sex. She doesn't go. Instead, she sits down on the couch with "just a little bit" of wine and Cheetos, but she hears Marshall's voice telling her not to eat and drink them. Dr. Sonya's voice tells her "just a little bit," and Ted tells her to think about the baby. Robin's therapist wants to get back to the story.
Marshall and Ted decide that "two bros" can rock a birthing class, and decide to stay together. They go through the sensual massage exercise, "breathing each other in."
At the bar Barney thanks Robin for her help and says she's "a real bro." She stops him, saying she's really more of a woman. Barney insists she's more of a dude, even "a man." She suggests that they get really dressed up and go around town getting drunk. Even her therapist thinks she's "a dog." Robin's plan is foiled when Nora gets back early and Barney is giddy.
But this time, Robin didn't get drunk under her desk with a bottle of wine. She handled it differently. She got drunk under the table at McLaren's with a bottle of whiskey in one hand a massive chunk of chocolate cake in the other.
Robin explains that after Barney and Nora left the bar, a woman came and asked where she could find Barney. She got a message from his "Cold Call 5000" machine saying they were destined to be together and believed it. Faced with this moral dilemma, Robin helped the woman exposed more cleavage and told her exactly where she could find Barney.
Marshall and Ted decide they should offer Lily an apology. Marshall goes home and gives Lily a plate of Cheetos and a bottle of wine, telling her she can have "just a little bit." He also announces that he's not withholding sex any longer. She asks him if he's sure he's on board with Dr. Sonya, and he says he is. We then see a flash forward of Lily getting yelled at by Dr. Sonya while giving birth, and Lily is wondering why Marshall isn't there. Old Ted tells us and the kids, "That's a crazy story."
Ted was supposed to be waiting in the hall to apologize to Lily, but when Marshall opens the door, they just see a sock on the knob and Ted's gone.
At his apartment, Ted's sitting with just one sock on and Robin asks what happened to the other one. Ted says it's a long story, but the short version is that he realized "love means taking a step back." Robin gets defensive and suggests it's sometimes "better to interfere and sabotage stuff, right?"
Forced to finally talk about the assault, Robin finishes the story. She chased down the woman who was out looking for Barney and wrestled her to the ground right outside the window of the restaurant where Barney and Nora were eating. We see it all, and even see Robin trying to run from the cops.
Barney and Nora never noticed, and now Robin is in her court-mandated therapy as a result of the incident. The therapist says she's a "really good friend" and adds that there was obviously no criminal intent. Robin thinks they're done, but the therapist now wants to hear about why she keyed the judge's car.