- June Colburn: [opening lines, a monologue in her head] New York is the cultural mecca of the world, great shopping, theater, restaurants, if you have money, which I don't. I've been surviving on a sack of potatoes I found behind a deli. I can't even afford to pay rent this month.
- [approaching a sidewalk café, where a woman with a Cynthia Nixon of Sex & the City vibe is sitting]
- June Colburn: Not like this rich lady, sitting here with her fancy dog, eating gourmet crab cakes...
- [the woman smiles benignly and her spirit cheers up with excitement]
- June Colburn: Is she offering me a bite of crab cake?
- [but the woman feeds it to her dog]
- June Colburn: Why did she do that?
- the rich, bored woman with the Pekinese dog: [voice in her head] I don't know why I did it, toying with the girl's emotions like that. Maybe I was bored, maybe I was lashing out at Jeffrey, either way it was something to do.
- June Colburn: I can't believe you would do this. I can't believe you put me on a porn site, that is wrong, in so many ways.
- Chloe: It's a fetish site, and it's not wrong, it's another grey area. You would have been making the jam whether or not we filmed it.
- June Colburn: [insists] There is no such thing as a grey area. You exploited me, without my knowledge.
- Chloe: You're being very judgmental right now. That's not very Korean of you.
- June Colburn: You never believed in the jam.
- [with the courage of her convictions:]
- June Colburn: Well, I'm gonna go sell it without you, and even if I fail, I'll go home to Indiana penniless knowing that I did the right thing.
- [leaves in a huff]
- Chloe: [seen on screen, left behind alone, looking up at the camera, speaking to Eli] I'm not paying you back for the camera.
- Eli Webber: That's fine. I've got a couple other websites going. You're not the only girls in the building.
- Robin: [in the elevator] Today, I helped a man see for the first time, yet you are the one who gets to go home to Chloe.
- June Colburn: Going home to Chloe is not so great.
- Robin: Are you crazy? I'd give my left nut to have what you have.
- June Colburn: Okay, I have to ask you, why do you like Chloe so much? She is mean to you, she's deceitful...
- Robin: ...pale, popular, she's 4% body fat, Chloe is everything I wish I was... I just feel like, if I can have a friend like her, everything would be good.
- June Colburn: [pitying] Wow. I'm so sorry. I had no idea.
- Robin: Yeah, you are sorry.
- June Colburn: Okay, I was just trying to be supportive.
- Robin: Yeah, tell it to your bra, Sag Bags!
- June Colburn: Whatever. Call me names. Doesn't matter anyway. If I can't find money to pay my rent, I'm gonna have to move home.
- James Van Der Beek: [Chloe and Luther have talked business] Are you guys finished? I've got something exciting to show you. Ready?
- [dropping the towel around his waist]
- James Van Der Beek: And reveal!
- [hip-hugging tight jeans with his brand logo]
- Chloe: Nice!
- James Van Der Beek: Right? My publicist thought I should take advantage of all the press I'm getting for Dancing With The Stars, and launch my own line of jeans, so...
- [slaps himself on the butt]
- James Van Der Beek: Beek Jeans! Put your cheeks in a Beek!
- [Luther applauds]
- James Van Der Beek: Right?
- Chloe: [looking at his crotch as he turns around] Holy Mother! Dammit! Those are tight! Doesn't that hurt?
- James Van Der Beek: [grimaces] So much! Yeah. But if you want your ass to rock, your plums gotta pay the price.
- Chloe: [as June enters the apartment, Chloe is interviewing another prospective tenant] It's first, last and security to move in.
- Bethany: [eager and trusting] Is cash okay?
- Chloe: [pleased smile, yet another gullible victim, then June appears] Oh! Great! Our other roommate is here!
- [rises]
- Chloe: June, this is Bethany. She responded to the roommate listing we posted.
- [winks conspirationally]
- June Colburn: What room? What are you...?
- [hushed tone]
- June Colburn: No. No! You can not run the roommate scam again, Chloe. It's wrong!
- Bethany: What's going on? Am I still gonna meet Dawson?
- Chloe: [to June, desperately] It's the last time, I swear.
- Chloe: [the key turns in the lock, she enters the apartment, obviously out of breath after having taken a run] Oh! Fat cabbie can run! Pretty sure he had a heart attack, though. So...
- [prancing merrily]
- Chloe: I just got a free ride home!
- June Colburn: [sitting glumly at the table] There are no free rides.
- Chloe: Oh, right, I forgot. You're probably gonna judge me.
- Chloe: Wow, Gerta was really mad.
- June Colburn: What is the matter with you? I can't believe you were trying to scam another girl. Do you even know what you're doing is wrong?
- Chloe: Help? Help another girl? And it's not wrong, it's a gray area.
- June Colburn: There's no such thing as a gray area. It's either right or it's wrong.
- Chloe: Not true. If it hadn't been me stealing her money, it would have been somebody else. And they probably would have killed her, too. So I hope you're happy. You just sent poor Becky off to die.
- June Colburn: Bethany.
- Chloe: Whatever. Either way, she's dead.
- June Colburn: You don't care who you hurt, do you? Whether it's Robin or Bethany or that old German lady.
- Chloe: Shockingly, Gerta's only twenty-five. German people just age *so* poorly.
- Chloe: [arriving home, closing front door] Whew! Fat cabbie can run! Pretty sure he had a heart attack, though, so... I just got a free ride home!