Pinkie Pie: And what are *you* laughing at?
Discord: Ho, you ponies are just the most fun I've had in aeons.
Pinkie Pie: You better think before you laugh at the Pink... ie Pie!
Fluttershy: Hey Twilight, what's soaking wet and clueless?
Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy, I've had just about enough...
Fluttershy: [she dumps a bucket of water on Twilight's head] YOUR FACE!
[Slams bucket on Twilight's head]
Discord: Keep trying, Twilight Sparkle.
Discord: Maybe the magic of friendship can help you. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some chaos to wreak.
Fluttershy: [a herd of bunnies with long legs tramples Twilight Sparkle] Good boy, Angel! Mama's so proud!
Twilight Sparkle: [trying to usher her discorded friends into the library to find a book] Pleeeease, we've gotta hurry!
Rarity: Forget it, Twilight. I know what you're up to. The second I go in, you'll have your little minion Spike come and take Tom!
[the rock she thinks is a diamond]
Twilight Sparkle: Tom?
Rarity: Well, it's not going to work.
Twilight Sparkle: You're not going in without him, are you?
Twilight Sparkle: [grunting, she picks Tom up herself] Fine!
Twilight Sparkle: Get back! All of you! This is my book. And I'm going to READ IT!
Twilight Sparkle: I never thought it would happen. My friends... have turned into complete JERKS!
[she rapidly places the elements of harmony on each of her friends]
Twilight Sparkle: Necklace! Necklace! Necklace! Necklace! And big crown thingy! Come on everypony, let's go!
Spike: But Twilight, aren't you missing somepony?
Twilight Sparkle: Nope. We've got the liar, the grump, the hoarder and the brute. That just about covers it.
Spike: But what about Rainbow Dash?
Twilight Sparkle: [she places Rainbow's necklace on Spike] Congratulations Spike, you're the new Rainbow Dash. Now let's go!
Spike: Me? B-b-but what if she finds out I've been impersonating her?
Spike: That won't end well.
Twilight Sparkle: Too bad, you're Rainbow Dash. Now let's go defeat Discord so we don't ever have to talk to each other again!
Discord: Well, well, well, I see you've found the Elements of Harmony. How terrifying!
Twilight Sparkle: Discord! I've figured out your lame riddle. You're in for it now!
Discord: [overly confident] I certainly am. You've *clearly* out-dueled me, and now it's time to meet my fate. I'm prepared to be defeated now, ladies. Fire when ready.
Pinkie Pie: It's your fault it didn't work.
Twilight Sparkle: Who are you talking to?
Pinkie Pie: Any of you! ALL OF YOU! I'm outta here!
Applejack: I better go, too. I've got new better friends waiting for me at the farm.
Fluttershy: Yeah! I'm sick of you losers.
Twilight Sparkle: FINE! Leave! See if I care! I don't need you guys either! With friends like you, who needs... enemies...?
[Twilight turns grey and sheds a tear]
Twilight Sparkle: Pack your things, Spike, we're leaving.
Twilight Sparkle: Don't ask where we're going, 'cause I don't know yet. Just not here.
Spike: [Spike is surrounded by scrolls of paper] Can't... move. The princess... has been sending these... since I came back upstairs.
[belches up a scroll]
Spike: Make it stop!
Twilight Sparkle: These are all the letters I've written to the princess since I've lived in Ponyville. But why would she send them back?
[Spike groans and belches again]
Twilight Sparkle: [reading] "Real friends don't care what your cover is. Friendship is a wondrous and powerful thing. And like the path cut through the orchard, there will always be a way through. The best thing to do is stay true to yourself. Everypony has a special magical connection with her friends. Maybe even before she's met them."
[Twilight regains her purple color]
Twilight Sparkle: Spike! Spike, it's all so clear! Can't you see? Discord's trying to distract us from what's important. He knows how powerful our friendships are, and he's trying to keep us from seeing it. Do you remember what I said the first day we arrived in Ponyville? I told you that the future of Equestria didn't rest on me making friends. But the opposite is true! The friendships I've made since I've been here are what saved Equestria from Night Mare Moon. And now they need to save it from Discord!
[Spike moans as Twilight spins him around in happiness]
Twilight Sparkle: You're right, Spike. I've got to fight for my friendships. For them. For me. For Equestria!
Twilight Sparkle: [Spike moans again] Oh... uh... why don't you just stay here and rest? I'll take care of the whole fighting for friendship thing myself.
Rarity: [still brainwashed, Twilight and Applejack approach her] What do you think you're doing? Get away from my gem! Get away - !
[after a memory spell, Rarity pushes her rock, Tom, out the door]
Rarity: Let us never speak of this again.
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, Fluttershy, you grab Rainbow Dash and hold her down. Applejack will lower me down from this rope so I can cast the memory spell on her.
Fluttershy: Got it!
[Fluttershy flies up to Rainbow Dash and wakes her]
Fluttershy: Um... I'm just wondering if it's okay if I hold you down against your will for a little bit?
Rarity: Oh, Fluttershy, would you be a dear and FLY FASTER, please?
Fluttershy: [whimpers] I can't!
Twilight Sparkle: If you can't catch her, Discord wins!
Fluttershy: That big... dumb... MEANIE!
Discord: [laughing] Chaos is a wonderful, wonderful thing.
[fills a glass top-to-bottom with chocolate milk from a tiny cloud]
Twilight Sparkle: Not as wonderful as friendship.
Discord: Oh, this again?
[drinks the glass and throws the chocolate milk behind him, resulting in an explosion]
Applejack: That's right. You couldn't break apart our friendship for long.
Discord: Oh, Applejack, don't lie to me. I'm the one who made you a liar. Will you ever learn?
Twilight Sparkle: I'll tell you what we've learned, Discord. We've learned that friendship isn't always easy. But there's no doubt it's worth fighting for.
Discord: Ugh, gag. Fine, go ahead, try and use your little Elements. Friend me. Just make it quick.
[teleports to his throne]
Discord: I'm missing some excellent chaos here.
Twilight Sparkle: All right, ladies, let's show him what friendship can do!
Pinkie Pie: Wait-wait-wait!
[drinks choclate rain, then rejoins the group and growls at Discord]
Discord: Huh. What's this?
[the elements of harmony form a spiraling double rainbow that attacks Discord and starts to turn him into stone]
Discord: No. NO!
[goes completely stone and falls to the ground]
Princess Celestia: [speaking to an assembled hall of ponies with Twilight and her friends at the front] We are gathered here today to once again honor the heroism of these six friends who stood up to the villain Discord and saved Equestria from eternal chaos!
[unveils a new stained-glass window honoring them]
Twilight Sparkle: We got the liar, the grump, the hoarder, and the brute. That just about covers it!
Spike: What about Rainbow Dash?
Twilight Sparkle: Congratulations, Spike: you're the new Rainbow Dash. Now let's go!
Discord: Fluttershy? Looks like you've been left behind by your so-called 'friends', huh?
Fluttershy: Oh, no! I'm certain they're doing their best to find me.
Discord: Well, it must be so upsetting to know how weak and helpless they think you are.
Fluttershy: Not at all! I am weak and helpless and I appreciate their understanding.
Discord: Yes, well, surely it burns you up, I mean, that they're always pointing out your flaws, right?
Fluttershy: Not really. In fact, I think I'm awfully lucky to have friends who want me to be the best I can be.
Discord: OH FOR GOODNESS SAKE!
[Discord forcibly turns Fluttershy to her opposite]
Discord: You've been kind for far too long, my dear! Time to be CRUEL! Arrivederci!