Oancitizen: Ladies and Gentlemen, you wanted it. You asked for it. For many of you, it's the only reason you watch my show: it's a random sex scene!
Oancitizen: Oh, there is so much weird going on here, and not just the depressing fact that I am watching more sex than I will ever get in my entire lifetime.
Oancitizen: You'll notice that the sexually liberated woman is strong, while the sexually repressed man is weak. Because the sexually liberated woman won't "liberate" the sexually repressed man.
Oancitizen: [after a man says "the main problem is the hole"] Yes, man, it's the vagina's fault your country sucks.
Oancitizen: There's a very, very clear message: have a happy, healthy sex life or else you'll become a murderous psychopath...
Obscurus Lupa: [scene cuts; phone rings] Hello?
Oancitizen: [frantic] Lupa, I need to have sex right now!
Obscurus Lupa: Todd?
Oancitizen: Please, if I don't have sex now, I'm afraid I might kill someone!
Obscurus Lupa: [hangs up and recoils]
Oancitizen: Apollo, I really need to have sex with you.
Apollo Z. Hack: [after long pause] Er, Oan, buddy, why are you telling me this?
Oancitizen: Because I literally only know two women and I struck out with both of them.
Oancitizen: I'm worried that if I don't get my rocks off, I'll build up a lot of emotional pressure that will eventually manifest itself in homicidal violence.
Apollo Z. Hack: And how, um, did you come to this, um, insane conclusion, pray tell?
Oancitizen: The weird Yugoslavian movie said so.
Oancitizen: [to his trash can] Oh, don't give me that look. You used me!