Neighbors (2014) Poster

(I) (2014)

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2/10
An Open Letter to Seth Rogan
raynjuls3 November 2014
Warning: Spoilers
Dear Seth,

I just watched your latest effort in the "Neighbors". Here are a few tips for you, your current and future directors, writers, producers and movie execs, to help you to not make another movie that my somewhat intoxicated adult friends turn off less than half way through.

1. Saying "F*ck" in every sentence does not give you street cred, nor is it particularly humorous after about 5 seconds. 2. You are in crappy physical shape. Quit having your writers put in sex scenes with you and the obviously unattainable women you are cast with. The sexual chemistry between you and Rose Byrne was about as believable as the chemistry between a swan and a water buffalo. 3. Watching a nearly middle-aged man-child get f'd up on shrooms, pot, etc. is about as entertaining as watching a dog lick its b*lls. It is mildly entertaining for about 10 seconds, and then is simply disgusting and annoying. 4. You are NOT a modern Jimmy Stewart "everyman" character. You are in fact the very antithesis of that. Overweight, pot smoking, video game playing D'bags that refuse to grow up have very little in common with folks that have to work for a living, raise a family and muddle through. 5. You are a middling character actor that, through some Faustian bargain, has become a quasi-leading man in romantic, raunchy comedies. Grow the F up, learn a little more range of emotion than "Holy F*ck Man" and "I'm so F*cked up", and maybe you can keep you soul (if you indeed ever had one).

Sincerely, Raynjuls
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1/10
Depressingly Bad
WednesdaySPN20 November 2014
Warning: Spoilers
*** This review may contain spoilers *** The film is the worst film I have ever seen. It enraged me and then deeply saddened me. Amid the pervasive "Drugs and Alcohol are Cool" teeny bop-per mentality that is catastrophically contrived and boring, there are racist, anti-Semitic and homophobic "jokes" that are 'so done'. Ridiculous sexual myths are once again being trudged out to yet another generation who might buy into them. Myths such as the penis size being of all importance, dildo's somehow being treasures to women, vagina's being stretched, Women having orgasms by simply hopping on and off, etc. ad nausea, all of which perpetuate an immature and misogynistic perspective of human sexuality. Any adult watching the film would be bored, if not insulted.

The worst quality of the movie is that the viewer is also made to suffer through the complete degradation of women and their bodies. Stella, a nursing mother, seems inexplicably unaware that her breast milk is affected by alcohol; fortunately, her clever husband knows that she should not breast feed the baby with her alcohol laced milk. Honestly, every nursing mother in the world knows this. The remedy is to pump the breast milk off but of course, klutz husband steps on the pump and they have no backup. Another unconvincing set up. Curiously, she is incapable of relieving herself and must get her husband to do it. If this seems contrived, it is. It takes 3.5 minutes to set this scenario up and another 2 minutes to execute a bunch of one-liners:

" Oh, gross. They're hulking out. They look like my grandmother's legs." (This in reference to her swollen breasts)

"Get on your hands and knees. We need a pail or something." "I got like four pails out of you."

"We should go mom tipping later." "Just trying to lighten the mooed. Mooed. That was udder lee traumatic. How much of you was traumatized 2%? 1%?"

Five minutes devoted to degrading and equating women to cows. That's 19.2 percent of the movie. This segment appears exactly half way into the film. The climax. And why? To delineate the whole point of the film: Let's see how we can take something as beautiful, natural and essentially, sacredly feminine as breastfeeding and portray it in the most disgusting and degrading way we possibly can.

How could any young woman after watching this possibly feel good about her body and look forward to nurturing a child? How will she be able to nurse a child without these horrible insults haunting her? Do we really need to teach a new generation of young men to degrade women and their bodies and regard women as disgusting cows?

The writers, Andrew J. Cohen, and Brendan O'Brien should feel nothing but shame for themselves. There are millions of writers who could probably write a better screenplay in 24 hours than this pair could in their life times. Shame on the producers, Evan Goldberg Seth Rogen, and James Weaver who backed and promoted this film. Shame on Hollywood for allowing these people to require artists to prostitute themselves in such a rank cesspool.

Probably the most poignant recurring comment in previous I.M.D.B. comments is not the number of adults who left during the film but the dead silence during and after the film for those who slogged it out. The silence. The silence of an audience who has matured and recognizes Hollywood for what it has been; immature and misogynistic. Humanity deserves better. Can't we move on?
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1/10
One of the Worst
LOwoman23 September 2014
This movie was by far one of the worst movies I've ever seen in my life. It was a waste of time and money. If I could have rated it a zero, I would have done so. The friend that went to this movie with me felt the same. We couldn't understand why it played as long as it did and had so many showings. It must have appealed to a particular age group? because one young man working at the theater didn't like it and another working there did. We'll be careful in the future to avoid shows with these "actors", anticipating it may again be a waste of time and hard-earned cash. We can think up other ways to deplete our wallets and not feel ripped off.
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1/10
100% Trailer Movie
asktms11 October 2014
Trailer Movie {Definition}: Any motion picture, video or film whereby the movie's funniest, scariest and/or most dramatic/action scene(s), is included, coupled w both plot & overall-message in less than a 3:00 minute 'trailer', rendering the actual full-length film a complete & utter waste of time. There are hoards of bad 'trailer movies'; however, 'Neighbors' is arguably the quintessential trailer movie of all time. It's as though the creators of this flick, were attempting to force a square peg (e.g. a 2x4), into a round hole (a mouse's rectum). Perhaps one day, rating movie-trailers will become as mainstream, as rating the actual movie itself..., and should that day ever arrive, this trailer will well deserve a strong '8', because like a high-dollar Vegas call girl, sipping on champagne at the Mirage, I ultimately paid for the night's rental.
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1/10
A movie so bad I am compelled to warn others about it.
hplindley21 November 2014
This is an unfunny comedy with jokes that only miss the mark. If you like any of these actors--don't see this movie. It will ruin your image of them. It's like catching your Dad having sex with his secretary. You'll never respect him again. You'll just be glad when it's over.

The plot is nonsensical. The jokes are nonexistent. The actors are there only to pickup a paycheck. The writers had nothing to offer. No structure. No jokes. No care that the audience actually enjoy themselves. I feel robbed and I only paid $1.62 at Redbox.

Don't watch this movie with a friend. Don't watch this movie with a spouse. Don't watch this movie alone. Don't watch this movie.

You're welcome.
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1/10
Vile
turdbadge5 October 2014
I got tickets to see a preview of this film and being a fan of these guys took them up on the chance (well .. 15 minutes of it) i had to leave, it was just wrong! I dread to think what people will feel if THEY pay to see this rubbish! The body suits that the actors wear are shockingly made, it's like this is a sketch for some TV series gone wrong! At 76 minutes too i imagine the film makers know this and have kept the running time to a minimum so as not to offend viewers even more! Also the fact that Zac Efron is billed as one of the stars of this film is such a laugh, he isn't even an actor and she appears briefly in the film - hardly worthy of a credit!
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1/10
More timewasting rubbish from a dying Hollywood.
regkeane2 November 2014
This was supposed to be a comedy. Yet, I never laughed once. In fact after 15 minutes I was ready to turn it off but I thought I'd save others the 15 minutes and warn people off watching this. So I watched to the end. It was such dross that I now struggle to remember what happened.

Instead of comedy it should have been categorized under embarrassed. I felt embarrassment for the director, the writers and the actors most of all. The same embarrassment I felt when I watched "The Internship"(OMG what a terrible movie) .

The movie felt like something that you would see on YouTube. The acting was terrible it was like a bunch of friends who decided to make a movie for the laugh. I'm sure it made them laugh. It certainly won't make you.
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2/10
Worse comedy of 2014
coronaapolosa27 December 2014
This is the result of a b u c h of rich j-e-w-s with influence in Hollywood trying to make a comedy. And someone even gave them some crap prise for it too. As the 344 BAD REVIEWS before me say, don't waste your money on this garbage.

I guess IMDb has a flawed rating system since all of those who saw the movie and are not directly implicated in the film industry rated this with a maxim 2 points out of 10. And the "flaw" is not entirely innocent, since the paid version of IMDb actively promotes movies, actors, producers etc. I mean they get more money the more people go watch Hollywood's crappy movies after seeing the trailers here...not to mention the so called rating system...

And remember not to ever watch a Seth Rogen movie ever again !
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1/10
Horrible women-hating film
s-g-waights10 October 2014
Warning: Spoilers
This was possibly the most horrible film I have ever seen. It seems like the only point of the film is the degradation of women.

At every instance men and their bodies are portrayed in a good light whilst women and their bodies are portrayed negatively.

In one particularly horrible part, the couple encourage a friend to join them in the fight against the nuisance frat boy neighbours by reminding him that one of the frat boys was having sex with his ex- wife.

They remind their friend that the particular frat boy has a very large penis. Their friend is then driven to help them by the unpleasant thought of his ex wife's vagina being enlarged by a large penis. This would be to him like getting a lent t-shirt back from a larger friend that is all stretched.

This is a really bad case of body-shaming, making women feel negatively about their sexual organs whilst trumpeting the man's.

In another scene the frat boys mould dildos from their penises which, of course, all the women go wild for and they make thousands of dollars in sales.

Constantly though this film, the men's body parts is portrayed as being fantastic whilst women's are regrettable or shameful

The mother's breasts are shown as a constant source of difficulty. In one scene the father is shown squirting milk from the mothers breasts all over the room under the pretext that they needed to be 'milked' since they were nearly bursting. This was disrespectful and made the mother look ridiculous.

The mother is also continuously shown as being homely and boring, whilst the father is a fun guy apparently tied down by his family. For example, when the couple go to a party, the mother is seen at the party timidly dancing and constantly checking the baby monitor, whilst the father goes completely wild doing magic mushrooms. She is shown talking to a group of girls who are apparently too stupid to do anything other than cooing and aahhing, whilst the father has a 'cool' conversation with one of the boys about batman actors.

This sort of crap perpetuates the negative images in society of women, especially pregnant women and mothers. The extent of women- hatred in this film is unbearable. I felt utterly horrible after watching it. I only wish I could unwatch it.
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1/10
A complete waste
pinoyhapa6 August 2014
Warning: Spoilers
I waited months until this flick came to the second-run theater and went on discount day to see it for $1.00. But even at that, I felt it was a sheer waste of my money and time. The movie was one-joke endless take on a frat house moving next door to a married-with-child couple. The jokes were sophomoric, boring, and grasping to be funny. Watching the trailer just showcases the whole idea. Sitting there for 90+ minutes to watch this repetitive magma of crude comedy does not bring laughs. Add nudity, simulated sex, urinating, hazing, same-sex kissing, dildos,stale Seth Rogen shtick with his endless trying-to-be-so-cool and you have a feeble attempt of a movie with actors and extras vying to see who can be absolutely gross.Parents leaving a baby home alone all night to get wasted is sheer irresponsibility along with having said baby chew on a condom seems like some kinda crazy abuse. I wouldn't even buy the DVD to see the deleted scenes and gag reels which I am sure is more of the sick and rotten same.
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