A DEA agent and a naval intelligence officer find themselves on the run after a botched attempt to infiltrate a drug cartel. While fleeing, they learn the secret of their shaky alliance: Neither knew that the other was an undercover agent.
Mr. Church reunites the Expendables for what should be an easy paycheck, but when one of their men is murdered on the job, their quest for revenge puts them deep in enemy territory and up against an unexpected threat.
During an operation of a Mexican Cartel, Machete Cortez and Sartana Rivera intercept the criminals alone, but another group arrives and a masked man kills Sartana. Machete is arrested, accused of killing his beloved Sartana and Sheriff Doakes hangs Machete. But the President of the USA Rathcock pardons and recruits Machete to kill the revolutionary Marcos Mendez that has threatened the USA with a missile with a bomb. Machete goes to San Antonio to meet the Miss San Antonio Blanca Vasquez that will be the liaison between Machete and President Rathcock. Then Machete goes to the brothel of Madame Desdemona to seek out the prostitute Cereza that is Mendez's mistress. Machete meets Mendez and learns that his heart is connected to the missile and only the arm dealer Luther Voz is capable to disarm the bomb. Now Machete needs to bring Mendez to the USA in less than twenty-four hours and save his new country in a dangerous journey with betrayals. Written by
Claudio Carvalho, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
I knew I smelt bitch in the air tonight!
Miss San Antonio:
Payback's the only bitch you need to worry about! This dress costs more than your FUCKING LIFE!
Didn't anybody ever tell you not to wear a dress to a gunfight?
Miss San Antonio:
Oh, baby, I always dress to the nines.
I dress to kill.
See more »
After all the credits have been shown, two short scenes are shown. One is an outtake of one of the last fight scenes, where an unexpected punch is delivered between two women, the other scene is a very short montage of the presidential character posing with guns. See more »
Best thing at the cinema in years. Ignore the critics!
I can honestly say that Machete Kills is the most entertaining thing I have seen at the cinema in years, if not ever (and I'm 47).
I enjoyed the first film, but in my eyes this is a rare example of a sequel that eclipses the original. Logic is thrown out the window, and every scene is a kaleidoscopic, hyper-kinetic explosion of humour, violence, machismo, excitement, sex & insanity. All the characters are larger than life and dripping with undiluted cool. The story races along like an out of control juggernaut & the plot twists, turns, spirals & back-flips all over the place, yet somehow the raw energy of the direction holds everything together.
There literally isn't one dull moment. If you're not grinning or shaking your head in amazement from start to finish, then you probably just don't get it, or have become dead inside. The only bad thing I can say about Machete Kills is that real life felt somewhat dull & uninspiring in contrast when we walked out of the cinema.
With this in mind, I was shocked to see that the film has flopped at the box office so far, and has a meagre 6.4 star rating on IMDb. Ignore the critics & go see it at the cinema while you can - this film deserves to be seen as loud & larger than life as the characters within it. Machete Kills is an Oasis in a desert of big budget CGI snoozefests and as such it needs your support. If a third instalment isn't made I'll be crying tears of blood.
106 of 197 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful to you?