Lucas Cano, (Machete) an ex-bodyguard for the Mexican President, tired of his life style, retires to a remote small town in Mexico, in hope of finding peace. But things do not work out for ... See full summary »
Roman Hernández Cordova
George Castle Jr.,
During an operation of a Mexican Cartel, Machete Cortez and Sartana Rivera intercept the criminals alone, but another group arrives and a masked man kills Sartana. Machete is arrested, accused of killing his beloved Sartana and Sheriff Doakes hangs Machete. But the President of the USA Rathcock pardons and recruits Machete to kill the revolutionary Marcos Mendez that has threatened the USA with a missile with a bomb. Machete goes to San Antonio to meet the Miss San Antonio Blanca Vasquez that will be the liaison between Machete and President Rathcock. Then Machete goes to the brothel of Madame Desdemona to seek out the prostitute Cereza that is Mendez's mistress. Machete meets Mendez and learns that his heart is connected to the missile and only the arm dealer Luther Voz is capable to disarm the bomb. Now Machete needs to bring Mendez to the USA in less than twenty-four hours and save his new country in a dangerous journey with betrayals. Written by
Claudio Carvalho, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
After all the credits have been shown, two short scenes are shown. One is an outtake of one of the last fight scenes, where an unexpected punch is delivered between two women, the other scene is a very short montage of the presidential character posing with guns. See more »
How did MACHETE KILLS bomb so badly? Anyone who went into the original MACHETE, developed from a faux trailer created for the Rodriguez/Tarantino GRINDHOUSE collaboration, and felt that the movie didn't quite live up to their expectations should've found everything they could possibly want in the sequel. All of the insanity that the first movie was missing is here and cranked up to maximum setting. MACHETE KILLS is not about quality filmmaking or themes or character arcs; it's about Machete. Anyone expecting more probably didn't know what they were walking into. MACHETE KILLS is the first of two sequels implied in the closing credits of the first film. As the movie begins, Machete Cortez is partnered with INS agent Sartana Rivera (Jessica Alba, returning to the role) and the two are finishing a military- grade weapons sale bust when the arrival of a team of mysterious masked men leaves the mission in shambles and Machete in the custody of the corrupt local law. A well- timed phone call from the President of the United States saves him from the gallows and puts him on a mission into Mexico to assassinate drug cartel boss Marcos Mendez (Demian Bichir) who's got a nuclear weapon pointed at Washington, D.C. Machete will face a team of vengeful prostitutes as beautiful as they are deadly, an assassin who can assume any identity, and an army of specially trained clones in his most dangerous assignment yet in which the fate of the entire world is in his hands.
If this movie were any more buggin' insane, you'd need antipsychotics just to watch it; based on the horrible reviews it's received, some people probably already believe you'd need them to suffer a single moment of the film. With the second film in a hopeful trilogy, Robert Rodriguez is free to do what he chooses without limitations established by a faux trailer to which he needed to conform. He also drops most of the grindhouse pretense, ditching all the post production effects to scratch the "film" and such, while maintaining the spirit of the genre in the execution. There's plenty of scene-chewing performances and over-the-top violence while story and character development remain slim to none. Danny Trejo is precisely what you expect and Machete hasn't exactly grown as a character since we last saw him. At best, he's softened a bit and seems to have some sort of relationship (?) with Sartana at the start of the film. Otherwise he's still the same scowling brute and man of few words. Don't come here expecting our hero to grow over the course of this mission. He's not here for an arc. He's here to gut some bad dudes. But Machete is Machete and you know exactly what to expect when you watch his movies. MACHETE KILLS delivers a hundred times over and, if I had any major complaint, it would be that Rodriguez relies on CG for most of the violence. Pretty much every instance of gore (and even muzzle flashes) are done with CG and it can be really distracting. The first action sequence, Machete and Sartana against some cartel thugs in the desert, has an almost amateur feel at first because the effects are so glaringly computer effects and all I could picture were poor actors all thugged out in the desert pretending their guns are recoiling while making "pew-pew" sounds in their heads.
By far, my favorite part of MACHETE KILLS that solidified itself as some of the best fun I had that summer in the theater was the science fiction turn the film takes in the second half of the film. Admittedly, I was worried before I saw the movie because all of the synopses for the film were pretty simple and uninteresting. What they failed to mention (and what a fantastic surprise for me) was that this movie is essentially a two-part tale that transitions into the promised MACHETE KILLS IN SPACE. The first half of the movie is all about Machete's mission to Mexico and his journey to bring cartel/rebel leader Mendez across the border. Already, this movie was more fun than I expected. Demian Bichir is so great as Mendez. He embraces the film's insane nature and goes nuts as the duel-personality villain, shifting between psychotic cartel boss and sympathetic rebel leader at the drop of a dime. Then the film takes a drastic turn when Machete meets the true villain, Voz (Mel Gibson). Crazy Mel Gibson is the best Mel Gibson. Voz is a villain of 007 proportions with a master plan to repopulate the world with a master race and a talent for seeing the future. Literally. He invites Machete to join his little venture aboard his orbital space station and receives the expected response: brutal violence.
Robert Rodriguez went full crazy with MACHETE KILLS and it made me so much more excited for a finale in space. With a supporting cast including Sofia Vergara (as a super hot brothel owner), Cuba Gooding Jr. (remember him?), Antonio Banderas (because it's a Robert Rodriguez movie), Charlie Sheen (as the President of the United States because duh), Amber Heard, and Lady Gaga as well as returning cast members Michelle Rodriguez and Tom Savini, this movie is loaded with people having a total blast. It's the best sort of cheese and anyone who didn't find this movie awesome probably wasn't in the market for a movie like MACHETE KILLS anyway.
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