- Dick Roman: We are diving whole hog into what keeps Americans living longer... and tasting better.
- Gloria Jane: You do, of course, mean to say the *food* will be tasting better.
- Dick Roman: That's exactly what I mean.
- Dick Roman: Put a "replace order" on Gloria there.
- Susan: And with the corpse?
- Dick Roman: Call Chef Fieri. I feel like barbecue.
- Edgar: Mankind's a limited resource, after all.
- Alpha Vampire: There are seven billion of them.
- Edgar: Only seven.
- Dean Winchester: Sam, look around. It's friggin' Woodstock. Everybody's hopped up on the brown acid. We don't need the song and dance. Give him a little prick.
- [Sam takes out needle, starts to draw guy's blood]
- Stoner: Owww. That hurts. This is for Hurricane Katrina, you said?
- Dean Winchester: ...Yes.
- Alpha Vampire: Where exactly on the list is fixing our plague?
- Edgar: My dear friend... nowhere. We want you to burn like the little roaches you are.
- Dean Winchester: You might want to slow down. You don't look so hot.
- Bobby Singer: I'm in the veil. My Brad Pitt days are over.
- Dean Winchester: For a girl raised in a basement, you're a hell of an actress.
- Emily: You were gonna hurt my daddy.
- [Smiles affectionately at the Alpha Vamp]
- Dean Winchester: Wow, you get a trophy in Stockholm Syndrome.
- Sam Winchester: It's the corn syrup. Everything in the store is laced with it.
- Dean Winchester: Everything?
- [Looks around]
- Dean Winchester: Hey, man, I'm gonna go into toxic shock, okay? I need my road food.
- Sam Winchester: That's what Roman is banking on.
- Dean Winchester: [Finds a pie] Hey. Hey. This one says "natural." That means it's safe. Right?
- Sam Winchester: I hate to break it to you, but corn syrup is natural, technically.
- Dean Winchester: Well, then what the hell are we supposed to eat?
- [Sam holds up a basket of fruit and bottled water]
- Dean Winchester: Okay, man, I have read this more times than the Playboy I found in dad's duffel.
- Dick Roman: Anna Nicole?
- Dean Winchester: Anna Nicole. Oh, the good... they die young, huh?
- Sam Winchester: If they figured out that we're here to get Alpha blood for a weapon...
- Dean Winchester: I think any way you slice it, you got Pac Man and True Blood in the same room, and that's bad news.
- Dean Winchester: What's Sucrocorp?
- Sam Winchester: They make food additives, namely high-fructose corn syrup. That crap is in... well, it's in just about everything... um, soda, sauces, bread.
- Dean Winchester: Don't say "pie."
- Sam Winchester: *Definitely* pie.
- Dean Winchester: Bastards.
- Alpha Vampire: We come from you.
- Edgar: Barely.
- Alpha Vampire: I am the son of Eve!
- Edgar: A pathetic mutt. Hardly one of us.
- [Walks up to him]
- Edgar: I knew Eve, and honestly... your mommy was a whore.
- Dick Roman: You know, where I'm from, you have to bite and claw your way to the top. Once you get there, trust me, the view's incredible.
- Dean Winchester: Let's never do that again. Cops thought we took that kid.
- Sam Winchester: Long as he gets back to his folks, I don't care what they thought.
- Dean Winchester: We had to jump out a freakin' window, man.
- Dean Winchester: A little FYI. Bobby's officing out of the john these days.
- Sam Winchester: Uh... awkward.
- Dean Winchester: Yeah, you're telling me.
- Alpha Vampire: So now you want to prevent the extermination of the vampire race.
- Dean Winchester: No. But it beats going down with you.
- Crowley: I know where to start the Easter-egg hunt. Happy trails.
- [Disappears]
- Dean Winchester: Okay. Where, jackass?
- [Flames burn words onto alter]
- Sam Winchester: Hoople, North Dakota.
- Dean Winchester: Piece of paper would have worked.
- Sam Winchester: I'm just saying that the lore doesn't have a single real-life example of Casper the friendly ghost. It's all basically poltergeists; until a hunter comes along...
- Dean Winchester: Yeah, well, the lore sucks.