When two freshmen pledges are accepted into the biggest party frat on campus (ALPHA HOUSE), they think they have it all. That is, until the assistant dean forces the Alphas to share their ... See full summary »
Heather Paige Cohn,
Hugh AKA the naked man:
[Hugh is naked and kneeling down behind some bushes and a dog comes up and starts liking his ass and balls from behind]
Get away from me gay dog. Stop. My body my choice.
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All I Ever Wanted Was You
Written by Justin "J-Nez" Nesbitt
Performed by Justin "J-Nez" Nesbitt
Produced by Alex Stiff See more »
TV producer Leslie Grief has rarely ventured onto the big screen since working on Walker: Texas Ranger. His last experience, directing and cowriting the 2006 Chevy Chase bomb "Funny Money", might have convinced a more cautious man to stick to exec-producing generic reality-TV fare. Instead, Grief returns with "10 Rules for Sleeping Around", which should hammer the last nail into the coffin of his theatrical aspirations. Inept in just about every way, the farce about two pairs of would-be philanderers may well prove to be 2014's most unenjoyable comedy, provided Adam Sandler doesn't have a third Grown Ups planned for this summer. Unlike Grown Ups, this picture will make only a brief flicker in theaters before reaching "Video-On-Demmand" purgatory.
Jesse Bradford plays Vince, the numbskull who sets the story in motion by convincing his wife, Cami (Virginia Williams), that they should have an open relationship governed by a douchebag decalogue of his own design; things go predictably awry when Cami decides to exercise this freedom with a cougar-hunting Hamptons horndog. At the same time, Vince has sold his dim-bulb bro, Matt (Chris Marquette), on proposing a similar sexual arrangement to his easily flustered girlfriend, Kate (Tammin Sursok), who's soon chasing Cami out to the Hamptons to join in the misbehavior. Mistaken identities and misinterpreted clues pile up as the four characters separately try to crash a party-of-the- season thrown by a notorious Hollywood hedonist (Michael McKean).
These leads have scores of credits among them, but as directed by Grief most would have a hard time landing a gig in a deodorant commercial. Dialogue spills out indiscriminately, its lack of comic timing not helped by Richard Nord's editing.
Failing at banter, Grief tries to score laughs with some faux-naughty outrageousness, most of which involves a teenage boy running around naked, with feathers stuck to him, with an amorous dog in hot pursuit. A funnier film might have gotten away with having this desperate kid fend off his canine pursuer with campus anti-rape slogans like "My body, my choice!"; this one simply begs to be found offensive in addition to stupid and desperately unfunny.
So to some this all up, bad writing, bad acting, bad direction, a horrendous script, and a all too familiar plot adds up to one disastrous film... If I was force to have to watch this film while in flight, I would seriously consider using the emergency exit; yes, it's that bad!!!!
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