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Hey Max I Never Karma Existed Till I Saw This Documentary
Louis Theroux is a very acquired taste . He's a documentary maker who gives the impression he's making deliberately bad car crash cringe inducing documentaries but there seems to be a singular lack of irony to it all . In other words he does make cringe inducing bad documentaries . That said with hindsight his shows have a revelation type quality to them . His documentary with Jimmy Savile saw the subject confess that " I'm feared in every girls school in the country " which turned out also extended to every hospital and mortuary as well . While interviewing Savile when he was famous for being a self publicising national institution rather than a prolific sex offender
Louis interviews spin doctor to the stars Max Clifford before he made headlines as being a prolific sexual predator ,which according to news reports is also one with a very small penis . One can't help thinking this documentary might have a few punchlines that write themselves
And they do . Right from the opening sequence Clifford's first words are " we're trying to find out about this young woman " and one instinctively believes that her age and her ability to say " No " aren't of the slightest interest to Clifford
" If you give someone enough rope they'll hang themselves " . Indeed they do Max and if you'd been convicted of these crimes in some third world countries you'd find yourself dangling on the end of a rope
Louis asks " I hope you might have something on me and dangle it on my head " . A line like that has you spluttering coffee everywhere . Don't watch this while you're drinking any liquids
Clifford drives Louis to the Royal Marsden Hospital " I take stars there to meet children " he confesses . What stars would they be Max ? Gary Glitter ? Stuart Hall ? Jimmy Savile ?
While driving Louis back from the hospital Clifford makes a few obscene jokes about Christine Hamilton that are literally stomach churning . In 2001 Clifford represented a woman called Nadine Milroy-Sloane who made serious allegations that tory MP Neil Hamilton and his wife Christine Hamilton sexually assaulted her . As it turned out these allegations were false and Milroy-Sloane was jailed for three years for perverting the course . The Hamiltons were completely exonerated but this didn't stop Clifford going on every chat show and throwing accusations and undisguised innuendos that the Hamiltons were still guilty which led to a court case in 2005 where he had to pay out undisclosed damages to the Hamiltons . The Hamiltons were of course the archetypal tory couple who lived up to every centre right caricature which means from a political viewpoint they're not going to be favourites of mine . But they were branded sex offenders due to the maliciousness and greed of Clifford and his client , a sex offender being a worse human being than some murderers so the Hamiltons are deserving of sympathy from everyone as well as a large slice of Clifford's fortune . Worse than getting slandered was getting slandered by someone committing the same type of offences they were being accused of . Such hypocrisy is sickening . But what goes around comes around and as I write this Clifford remains on bail and is facing a long stretch in prison surrounded by real nasty customers who aren't impressed by success or people interfering with women and kids . Not matter what you say about democracy there are two things that democracy is good at - the jury system of law and the fact that you can't rewrite history . Despite his fame and fortune Clifford can't change the fact history will remember him as an odious pervert with deviant tastes and one with an extremely small penis . Enjoy the rest of your life in jail Max because you've got your entire life behind you
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