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When Louis Met... Max Clifford (2002)

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Cast

Credited cast:
...
Himself - Presenter
Rest of cast listed alphabetically:
Nicky Byrne ...
Himself
Jessica Callan ...
Herself
Liz Clifford ...
Herself (as Liz)
Louise Clifford ...
Herself (as Louise)
Max Clifford ...
Himself
...
Himself
John Daly ...
Himself
Kian Egan ...
Himself
Mark Feehily ...
Himself
Shane Filan ...
Himself
Declan Galbraith ...
Himself
Simon Hattenstone ...
Himself
Alicia Kerr ...
Herself
Georgina Law ...
Herself
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26 March 2002 (UK)  »

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Quotes

[Westlife have arrived at the hospital and are meeting their pre-teen girl fans]
Louis Theroux: Is this all going according to plan?
Max Clifford: Yes.
Louis Theroux: You look quite happy.
Max Clifford: Oh, I'm very happy. You can see how happy they are.
Louis Theroux: Yeah, they're, they're... you can feel the hormones coming off them, I think it's like a heat phase. What are those, pheromones? What do you call that?
Max Clifford: I think it's just the effect you have actually, Louis.
Louis Theroux: And their faces, they go bright red.
[to a heavily blushing young girl]
Louis Theroux: Are you all right?
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Hey Max I Never Karma Existed Till I Saw This Documentary
30 April 2014 | by (Isle Of Bute , Scotland) – See all my reviews

Louis Theroux is a very acquired taste . He's a documentary maker who gives the impression he's making deliberately bad car crash cringe inducing documentaries but there seems to be a singular lack of irony to it all . In other words he does make cringe inducing bad documentaries . That said with hindsight his shows have a revelation type quality to them . His documentary with Jimmy Savile saw the subject confess that " I'm feared in every girls school in the country " which turned out also extended to every hospital and mortuary as well . While interviewing Savile when he was famous for being a self publicising national institution rather than a prolific sex offender

Louis interviews spin doctor to the stars Max Clifford before he made headlines as being a prolific sexual predator ,which according to news reports is also one with a very small penis . One can't help thinking this documentary might have a few punchlines that write themselves

And they do . Right from the opening sequence Clifford's first words are " we're trying to find out about this young woman " and one instinctively believes that her age and her ability to say " No " aren't of the slightest interest to Clifford

" If you give someone enough rope they'll hang themselves " . Indeed they do Max and if you'd been convicted of these crimes in some third world countries you'd find yourself dangling on the end of a rope

Louis asks " I hope you might have something on me and dangle it on my head " . A line like that has you spluttering coffee everywhere . Don't watch this while you're drinking any liquids

Clifford drives Louis to the Royal Marsden Hospital " I take stars there to meet children " he confesses . What stars would they be Max ? Gary Glitter ? Stuart Hall ? Jimmy Savile ?

While driving Louis back from the hospital Clifford makes a few obscene jokes about Christine Hamilton that are literally stomach churning . In 2001 Clifford represented a woman called Nadine Milroy-Sloane who made serious allegations that tory MP Neil Hamilton and his wife Christine Hamilton sexually assaulted her . As it turned out these allegations were false and Milroy-Sloane was jailed for three years for perverting the course . The Hamiltons were completely exonerated but this didn't stop Clifford going on every chat show and throwing accusations and undisguised innuendos that the Hamiltons were still guilty which led to a court case in 2005 where he had to pay out undisclosed damages to the Hamiltons . The Hamiltons were of course the archetypal tory couple who lived up to every centre right caricature which means from a political viewpoint they're not going to be favourites of mine . But they were branded sex offenders due to the maliciousness and greed of Clifford and his client , a sex offender being a worse human being than some murderers so the Hamiltons are deserving of sympathy from everyone as well as a large slice of Clifford's fortune . Worse than getting slandered was getting slandered by someone committing the same type of offences they were being accused of . Such hypocrisy is sickening . But what goes around comes around and as I write this Clifford remains on bail and is facing a long stretch in prison surrounded by real nasty customers who aren't impressed by success or people interfering with women and kids . Not matter what you say about democracy there are two things that democracy is good at - the jury system of law and the fact that you can't rewrite history . Despite his fame and fortune Clifford can't change the fact history will remember him as an odious pervert with deviant tastes and one with an extremely small penis . Enjoy the rest of your life in jail Max because you've got your entire life behind you


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