Brian Lane: How did someone like me end up with someone as gorgeous and fantastic as you?
Esther Lane: [pretending to be smug] That's a question I often ask myself.
Det. Supt. Sandra Pullman: Last week, Peter Offord, a forty-three-year-old plumber, was arrested on suspicion of a warehouse robbery in Wembley, but his DNA didn't match any found at the scene. However, it did show a link to a man found strangled on a tube train *here* in March ninety-six. Dead man's identity has never been established.
Jack Halford: Until now?
Det. Supt. Sandra Pullman: Turns out Peter Offord was that murder victim's son.
Gerry Standing: Yeah? How'd he react to that?
Det. Supt. Sandra Pullman: Never knew his dad, apparently; he was brought up alone by his mum.
Gerry Standing: Hmh.
Brian Lane: But I don't understand; if this fellow died on the tube, then surely this is one for the British Transport Police.
Det. Supt. Sandra Pullman: Yeah, well, since two thousand two, the Commissioner and the Transport Police Chief Constable confer on such cases, and it's been mutually agreed that UCOS should take this one on.
Gerry Standing: What she means is it's been dumped on us.
Jack Halford: Any scene of crime photos?
Det. Supt. Sandra Pullman: Nope.
Jack Halford: List of suspects?
Det. Supt. Sandra Pullman: No scene of crime photos, no list of suspects and we don't even know the victim's name.
Gerry Standing: Well, what happened to him?
Det. Supt. Sandra Pullman: He was strangled face to face.
Gerry Standing: What sort of bloke was he?
Det. Supt. Sandra Pullman: A vagrant.
Brian Lane: What, a tramp?
Gerry Standing: Oh, great!
Det. Supt. Sandra Pullman: [about the unidentified victim] And actually, can we stop referring to him as 'him' or 'the victim'. Let's dignify him with a name or something.
Brian Lane: Tom.
Jack Halford: Dick.
Det. Supt. Sandra Pullman: Harry.