Dan Humphrey: I could easily spend the rest of my life obsessing about why Serena didn't invite me to that party, I mean, she... she... she really should have invited me to that party... It's like she wants me to stay an outsider for the rest of my life. First she kills my movie, and then she kills my social life...
Chuck Bass: You ever thought it might be your own fault?
Dan Humphrey: [pauses] No.
Chuck Bass: Humphrey, you wrote an entire novel about being an outsider. It's how you define yourself. But if that's not who you wanna be anymore, the only person who can change that, is you. What you need to do is stop with the neurotic navel gazing, and start being like our friend Neo here. The man of action.
[two beautiful women come in]
Chuck Bass: It just so happens that action and her friend are begging you to take them into Nate's bedroom while I take monkey for a stroll.
[Chuck gets up and leaves for the bedroom. Dan takes the rest of his drink, then he looks up at the women]
Beautiful Woman: Hi.
[Dan just stares at them]
[Dan is talking to a group of people in the elevator while drinking from a flask]
Dan Humphrey: Okay! Yeah. I'm... as you can tell by my casual attire, I'm... I'm crashing this party, but... but it's only because I needed to stop whining, start becoming a man of action. And a man of action wouldn't just do nothing. A man of action would, uh, would show up and finally confront the person he's been meaning to have a conversation with for a very long time now. I wouldn't expect you to understand what I'm saying. Who the hell are you people anyway?
[pauses as they leave, then mumbles]
Dan Humphrey: Must be friends of the groom.
Charlie Rhodes: I never wanted to have to tell you this, but for some time now... I've been pretending to be... Ivy Dickens.
Chuck Bass: Why don't you tell me why you antagonize Blair at her own wedding shower?
Dan Humphrey: I was just... I was just trying to take some action, man, like you said. But it didn't work.
Chuck Bass: Let's be clear. I told you to get some ass, not make one of yourself.