Nostalgia Critic (TV Series)

Cop and 1/2 (2011)

Doug Walker: Nostalgia Critic

Quotes 

• McKenna : Looks like drugs.

  Nostalgia Critic : It does?

  [the criminal dropped a belt with little plastic tubes on it] 

  Nostalgia Critic : It looks like my old Mad Scientist chemistry set. Holy shit, Doctor, we were making drugs?

  [as Mad Scientist] 

  Nostalgia Critic : Why do you think I'm so MANIC all the time?

• Nostalgia Critic : Put a search out for Shire Baggins!

• Nostalgia Critic : I mean, what's next? A hostage negotiation handled by a three-year-old girl?

  [pause] 

  Nostalgia Critic : Oh, I don't have a bit, I'm just asking.

• Nostalgia Critic : Boy I wish I was running over that fruit cart right now.

• Nostalgia Critic : The movie's so desperate, they couldn't even afford a Culkin.

• Nostalgia Critic : Kid, you're not Penny Gadget. She had a computer book and an IQ of kazillion. You had a bit part on Sisters. I don't think that's gonna get you very far.

• Nostalgia Critic : Your tax dollars at their fuckest, people.

• Nostalgia Critic : It's a pile of ass on a pile of balls with a pile of dick. What's that make? A pile load of ass-ball-dick.

• Nostalgia Critic : Did this movie invent the Twinkie-cam? That needs to be seen more.

• Nostalgia Critic : Well, Mr. Director, what do you have to say for yourself?

  The Fonz : 'Eyyyyyy.

  Nostalgia Critic : 'Eyyyyy fuck you.

• Nostalgia Critic : Hand over your badge, movie. You're suspended.

• Nostalgia Critic : These guys are making the Goodfeathers look legitimate!