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Silly but brief XXX excerpt
lor_1 September 2011
Andy Bellamy struts her stuff in HEADS OR TAILS, a porn film shown in abbreviated form as a short subject on a Something Weird compilation, Vol. 207 of its Dragon Art Theatre series.

Similar to another SWV Bellamy starrer THE PUSSY HUNTERS, this is clearly a shortened version of what was once a full-length feature, courtesy of the natural process of shredding in the Dragon Art projection booth several decades ago. Considering the low quality of this production it's no great loss.

Extant version begins with a blow job in progress, as blonde Lynn Holmes gives it to her guy named Guy (Bill Scott). They go through many positions until interrupted by a knock on the door: it's busty Andy, just arrived in Hollywood having won a local "canned corn queen" contest. The cast discusses stardom, and there is a strong, wistful note of these fledgling XXX performers pondering their own personal fates (of course none of them would ever graduate to mainstream roles, or even achieve widespread recognition just within the Adult field, though Bellamy certainly deserved some).

The gals were chums in high school, and Lynn agrees to give Andy a place to stay. Lynn is about to give Andy the lesbian sex treatment when there is a harsh jump-cut -scene missing. Action resumes with Andy calling a director she met on the plane (and led her to believe he had a part waiting for her), but he's unresponsive.

She's immediately disillusioned, but they go to a Hollywood party to cheer up. It's an orgy, with guys playing a sexual version of Blind Man's Bluff. There's another harsh jump-cut as a sex scene begins -2nd scene omitted.

A sexy redhead arrives (Patti Lee), and Guy takes Andy into the bedroom for a mechanical deep throat session. Meanwhile Patti does sixty-nine on the couch. When the money shot comes, "The End" card is superimposed, reading backwards (flopped frame), centered under a shot of a girl's naked rear end. Only the thousandth time this gimmick has been trotted out.

Wearing her trademark cameo dog collar, Andy is looking mighty fine, and the reason to watch this poorly photographed effort.

Musical track is a hodge-podge of boring Muzak versions of then-popular tunes, probably a library tape used over & over for the lowest grade porn. I recognized "Wichita Lineman" (played over & over), "I'm Gonna Make You Love Me", "Going Out of My Head", "Galveston", "The Look of Love" and Rod McKuen's "Jean". It doesn't get more boring.
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