The Hangover Part III (2013)
Phil: What the fuck is wrong with those chickens?
Mr. Chow: They're angry. All I feed them is cocaine. And chicken.
Alan: You don't get it Stu. You. Just. Don't. Get It. I have over 60 apps on that phone. Do you know how much time and manhours it would take to redownload those apps?
Stu: We're not gonna kill the dogs, Chow. This will knock them out for hours.
Mr. Chow: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you worked for PETA. What a pussy.
Alan: Nothing worse than losing your phone.
Stu: You just saw a man get murdered. Your brother-in-law is kidnapped. You sure there's nothing worse?
Phil: Damn it! I left my phone in the Minivan.
Alan: Oh Phil, I have that find my phone app.
Phil: Alan, we have bigger problems than that at the moment.
Stu: No wait. If Chow has the minivan and your phone is in the minivan that means your phone is with Chow.
Alan: Stu, you heard Phil. We have bigger problems than that.
Alan: My name's Alan and I bought a giraffe! Oh, my life is perfect!
[causes a car crash]
Mr. Chow: So long, bitches!
[goes on a paraglider]
Mr. Chow: I believe I can fly... I love cocaine!
Stu: [upon arriving to Las Vegas] Someone needs to burn this place to the ground.
Phil: Hey, what's your password?
Alan: Hey Phil?
Alan: No, that's it.
Alan: That's my password. Hey Phil.
[back in Vegas]
Stu: I told myself, I would never come back.
Phil: Don't worry, it all ends tonight...
Alan: Did you know your name used to be Carlos? I think it suits you better.
Phil: [Struggling to climb down a rope off the roof of Caesar's Palace] Agh. I'm okay.
Alan: Hey, Phil!
Phil: What's wrong?
Alan: Hold on a second.
[Gets out phone to take a picture]
Alan: Kick yourself out a little bit.
Alan: Stay still!
Phil: Alan!... Did you get it?
[the Wolf Pack is in a fight with cockerels]
Mr. Chow: Hold still, I'm trying to help!
[fires a gun wildly]
Stu: Are you out of your mind?
Mr. Chow: You want Chow spirit hang over you when you make fuck on your wife?
[the Wolf Pack wake up in a honeymoon suite]
Stu: [sees he has implants] I have boobies now!
Cassie: [laughs] Oh my God...
Phil: [laughs] Holy shit!
Stu: It's not funny! Alan, what did you do? What did you do, Alan?
Alan: The wedding cake... it was from Leslie...
[Chow enters, naked and brandishing a sword]
Mr. Chow: [laughs] We had a sick night, bitches!
[the monkey jumps back on Stu]
Marshall: Leslie Chow stole $21,000,000 from me, on a Tuesday.
[Marshall brings Stu, Phil, and Alan to his villa]
Marshall: Leslie Chow never lived here. You didn't break into his old house, you broke into MY house.
Phil: I don't understand.
Marshall: You didn't get back the gold he stole from me. You got the other half that he didn't.
Stu: Oh, my GOD!
Phil: You mean the half he never had?
Marshall: He's a world-class rat, and you 3 were his accomplices.
Stu: We had no idea!
Phil: We were trying to help you! We thought you'd be happy!
Marshall: [sarcastically] Thank you so much! Thank you for ripping me off! Thank you for desecrating my home! And THANK YOU FOR KILLING MY FUCKING DOGS!
Stu: We didn't kill your dogs! They're just tranquilized.
Marshall: Oh, right. You don't know. Chow snapped their necks on his way out.
Black Doug: And somebody's gotta pay.
Marshall: He's right.
[points his gun at the Dougs]
Doug: No no no no, NO!
[Marshall shoots Black Doug and his body splashes into the pool]
Marshall: My head of security, couldn't stop 3 fuck-ups and a Chinaman with a pair of wire cutters. Unreal.
Phil: We don't even know where the fuck he is!
Marshall: No one does! But I figure the Wolf Pack has the best chance of finding him!
Sid: [end-of-tether] Your mother and I can't take this any more!
[has a heart attack]
Marshall: [about Chow] He fucked me in the ass!
Alan: He does that from time to time.
Marshall: ...Not literally.
[to Phil, about Alan]
Stu: That place in Arizona's not going to help him. There is no facility that can fix this guy. We're going to spend the rest of our lives dealing with him, because we're all he has now. You realize that? We're it!