- Still emotional after Charlie's death and jealous over Walden's ability to pick up hot single women, Alan takes a break from reality and channels his inner Charlie.
- As part of his divorce closure and start of a new single dating life, Walden redecorates the beach house. When Charlie's piano is taken away, already jealous Alan also turns melancholic and ends up incarnating his dearly missed brother, getting drunk and picking up girls as Charlie, down to his name and Bermudas. Jake feels insecure, squashed between two fellow losers turning into Charlies.—KGF Vissers
- When Walden begins redecorating the beach house, Alan becomes overly emotional.—CBS Publicity
- "Two and a Half Men" - "Thanks for the Intercourse" - Nov. 7, 2011
It's morning and at breakfast Walden is excited they have Maple Loops, he sings the jingle. This throws Alan since Charlie wrote the jingle. Walden is impressed and Alan offers up others and Walden can sing those too. Walden thinks Charlie was a genius. Alan agrees since Charlie screwed everything that moved and never got VD. Walden asks Alan if he and Charlie were close. He says they were and that's why they lived together so long. Walden says Berta says it's because Alan is a parasitic leech. Alan says this is true but they loved each other and that he does miss him although he doesn't miss the smell of vomit and lubricant in the morning. They then sing a toe fungus jingle that Alan says he inspired. Walden then asks if he wrote the famous "I'm a Pepper" Dr. Pepper jingle. He did not. Walden says it wasn't that catchy anyway.
Alan sits at Charlie's piano and sings a sad version of the Maple Loops jingle. Walden wings in and brings it uptempo and then apologizes since he realizes Alan was trying to be sad. Alan talks about the piano: Charlie playing it, passed out under it, banging girls on top of it.
The doorbell rings and it's piano movers. Walden goes back to Alan and asks if he's anxious to get rid of some these painful memories. Alan says nope, the piano is all that he has left of Charlie, aside from all the DNA he left in the house. Walden tells him he donated the piano to a music school for underprivileged kids. At first Alan is aghast but then agrees. He takes Charlie's stuff out of the piano bench: music, panties, a bong, and a vibrator. Walden quips: "So we're talking songs, thongs, bongs and schlongs." Alan says if Charlie had an autobiography that would be the title. The movers come to get the piano. Alan then holds on to the piano and says they can't have it and says screw the kids. Walden pulls him off the piano.
Later Jake arrives to find Alan sitting with a drink where the piano was. Jake astutely notes that something is different. He then wonders if they were robbed. Alan says yes. Jake is bummed since his "good bong" is gone. Jake sits and grabs a beer. Alan takes it from him. Jake says Alan isn't the only one who misses Charlie. He says Charlie never just treated him like a stupid kid, he treated him like a stupid person. Alan says Charlie loved Jake. Jake wonders why he didn't leave him anything then. Alan says love isn't measured in things. Jake says Charlie taught him a lot of things like, if it doesn't fit, don't force it; it's better to ask forgiveness than permission; if it's burning, bleeding or oozing, see a doctor asap. The most important thing though is Jake says he wants to be married and have kids by the time he gets to Charlie's. Alan is surprised by this. Jake says Charlie was very lonely. Alan says he was. Jake says he doesn't want to be lonely like him, than adds, of course he doesn't want to be like Alan either. He then asks Alan if he has the number for Dr. Asap, since he'll want to get him as soon as possible when he needs him.
Alan goes to the bar and drinks Charlie's favorite drink: bourbon. The bartender is suspect since Charlie knew how to drink. Alan says he watched him for years and picked up a few things. The bartender notes this is possible although it was never chicks or checks. Walden finds him and joins him at the bar. The bartender immediately digs him. She flirts with him shamelessly as Alan clears his throat for his bourbon. Walden likes her and thinks she's nice. Alan says Walden lives in a world of nice. Walden says it's because he's nice to people. Alan argues it's because he's tall, good-looking and rich, not unlike Charlie and he goes off on a rant. A lovely blonde next to him says hi, nicely, and then asks who his friend is. Alan says he's a psychopath with a rag soaked in chloroform in his car. Alicia introduces herself to him. Walden takes her home. Alan continues to rant. Walden and Alicia head to bed and Alan thinks to himself he couldn't score a woman like that even if his semen cured cancer. He heads out to the balcony and talks to Charlie in the sky saying he must be looking down and laughing and that he left a big hole down there. He then admits he would've given anything to be like Charlie even if just for a day. Just then a dog runs up on the balcony. A pretty woman follows him. He then hits on her like Charlie would and it works and when she introduces herself as Melanie he introduces himself as Charlie.
The next morning Walden walks Alicia to the door and thanks her for the intercourse saying that he thought he couldn't get used to the single life but this casual sex with no commitment is growing on him. She is aghast.
Alan wakes up with Melanie who says he's an incredible lover. He keeps up the Charlie act.
Walden asks Berta how she feels about casual sex. She says she's all for it, just let her wash the dishes and comb her hair. Alan comes in and has a little hair of the dog and waves goodbye to Melanie, who say, "Call me." Alan says he will "as soon as I remember your name". Alan tells Walden and Berta he "tapped a little strange" last night. Berta asks which one he tapped, the woman or the dog. He gives a hint: "I didn't do the dog, people-style." Berta says that Alan "walks like Zippy but sure doesn't act like Zippy".
Alan brings his drink into Jake's room as he's making out with Megan and says "whoa, look who's getting busy." He sits on the bed-- he's wearing one of Charlie's shirts-- he tells them the tongue is a gateway drug, it leads to harder organs. He hands Jake a dollar and tells him to take Megan out.
Jake goes to Walden and says they have a problem, Alan acting like Charlie. Walden says Alan suffered a big loss and people deal with it in different ways. He then gets sad about his loss of Bridget but says he's soldiering on by having casual hot sex with women who don't mind if you dance around in their panties. Jake wonders if everyone is turning into Charlie.
Alan lounges on the patio - stogie and drink in hand. Walden approaches and wants to talk. Walden says people are worried about him. Alan says people are only worried because they can't wrap their heads around how cool he is. Walden doesn't think this is it. He suggests Alan go see Charlie's shrink. Alan says he's fine. Walden asks Alan who he is. He says "Charlie Harper." Walden says he's not fine and to sleep it off. Alan asks as he leaves "who the hell was that?" (So I guess we're supposed to think his wish came true and he is actually Charlie for a day?)
Walden is in the shower singing the Maple Loops jingle. Alan joins him, drink and stogie in hand. Walden asks what he's doing in there. Walden says it's his shower. Alan/Charlie disagrees. He compliments Walden's penis and says he could paint a face on there and drive in the carpool lane. He then looks down at his own endowment and says "call the cops, I've been robbed."
Walden drives Alan/Charlie-- to what he think is Vegas-- and A/C is excited saying his name opens a lot of doors and legs in Vegas. He drops him off at the loony bin. Two nice men in white suits take him in.
Lying on a hospital bed in a hospital gown A/C chats on an imaginary phone with the concierge and asks for a bucket of ice, a bottle of scotch and two Asian hookers. He rethinks, saying they're small, and to make it three. He reclines and says "winning!"
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