- Alan convinces Walden to see Charlie's old shrink after he gets his divorce papers from Bridget, but his spirits are soon lifted after he meets a lesbian who looks like her.
- Walden feels it's time for a new start and a move to New York when served divorce papers. Alan can't afford to loose his free ride again, so he convinces Walden to try Charlie's therapist, Dr. Linda Freeman. She smells her own meal ticket, thrice a week, but saves Alan's bacon. Both house-mates' spirits are lifted when they bump in a bar into Bridget Schmidt's lookalike Danny and her lesbian partner, in for some bi fun.—KGF Vissers
- Walden receives divorce papers from Bridget, but forgets his depression when he meets a girl who looks eerily like her.—CBS Publicity
- "Two and a Half Men" - "The Squat and the Hover" - Oct. 24, 2011
Jake and Alan chat while watching TV. Alan isn't paying any rent. He says Walden doesn't want any money since they're friends. Walden enters with the mail, naked. Alan and Jake are shocked. Walden doesn't care. "My house, my couch, my junk." "Alan Smith" got a box from a penis pump company. Walden's upset by the divorce papers he's received from Bridget. Alan remembers being sad when he got his divorce papers. Jake remembers Judith throwing a party on a boat. Walden is clearly upset. Alan reassures him he's young and will find someone else. Walden gets up and rants about not being able to find his soulmate. Alan and Jake are transfixed by Walden's swinging junk. Jake asks Alan to tell him that he's still growing. Alan hands Jake the penis pump box.
Alan happens upon Walden burning some Bridget memorabilia in the fireplace as a way to forget her and start a new life: it's wedding photos and love letters and keepsakes. He burns the wedding video but decides to keep the honeymoon video. Alan says he's upset now but one day Walden might want some of these things. Walden says he's wiping the hard drive and rebooting the system. He also says he wants to sell the house and move to NYC. Alan can't have that so he recommends Walden seek professional help, from the same woman Charlie went to. Walden points out Charlie died. Alan says that's because a crazy woman pushed him in front of a train, if anything they should blame her therapist.
He goes to see Dr. Freeman. She says depression often stems from anger. He says he's not angry. She asks about his childhood. He says it was perfect. His parents are divorced but says his mom did a great job raising him. His Mom did everything for him and he always felt safe with her. And then it ended when he got married. Bridget didn't get along with his mom very well. He describes Briget as doing everything for him and feeling very safe with her. He realizes he married to his mom. He realizes Bridget is right, he is emotionally immature and was treating her like a mom. The therapist, played by Jane Lynch, says there's no point in moving to New York because his problems will only follow him. Instead, he should start seeing her several days a week. He thanks her with a big hug. "Maybe I'm not gay," she says as he leaves.
Alan and Walden go to the movies and run into Bridget and her new boyfriend Alex. Alan suggests running. Walden says he will stay and be mature. He only does one of these things asking if Bridget told Alex about his enormous penis. Alex says he's a cosmetic surgeon. Walden assumes this means Botox and boob jobs. Instead it means he globe trots helping burn victims and children with cleft palates. It ends poorly. Bridget and Alex walk away and he notes that she didn't tell him Walden had turned gay and that he will probably split Alan in half.
In the theatre Walden fumes that Bridget is dating Conan the Humanitarian. Which prompts Alan to ask if Bridget has a magic vagina since she's not conventionally beautiful. Walden wonders if this means pulling a rabbit out of it.
It turns out they went to the wrong movie as it was about a guy who meets a girl and then kills himself. They go to the bar to get drunk on Appletinis and Walden notices a woman at the bar looks like Bridget but with a short black pixie cut. Walden thinks it's a sign. The woman's name is Dani and she's a lesbian, which she proves by kissing the pretty but vapid blonde she is with. Walden then kisses Alan on the mouth to show that they're gay too. They all end up back at Walden's place. They keep up the gay act at the house because Walden just wants to be near someone who looks like Bridget. As he pours his heart out to Dani on the porch-- complete with fake gay backstory-- Alan works on the friend trying to suss out if she's bi. Walden finally admits he's straight and Dani takes pity on him, but not so much that she'll let him kiss her. She asks what the deal with Alan is. Walden says he doesn't know since Alan opened his mouth a little when they kissed.
Alan has also managed to get the friend to open her mouth as they are making out when Dani and Walden enter. She promptly punches Alan, three times in the nose. The women leave.Walden asks Alan if he's okay. 'I think she broke my nose but I almost turned a lesbian, so I'm going to count it as a win," says Alan.
Alan and Walden return to the movies. Alan's face is covered in tape. Alan confesses to being very selfish about losing a great place to live. He apologizes and says Walden is a great guy and if he needs to move to New York to be happy he should do that. Alan says he'd miss him. Walden says he'd miss him too. Walden agrees with the shrink that he'd just take his problems with him. Plus, he says he'd miss his best friend and puts his arm around Alan. Alan lays his head on his shoulder and proclaims himself the luckiest guy in the world. A few rows back, Alex and Bridget are coincidentally in the same theatre and Alex says "told ya."
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