Alex Désert: Wise

Quotes 

• Wise : I'm all full of shifferuss-ness.

  Kid : Pops?

  Wise : It wasn't me! Are you trying to give me a heart attack, boy?

  Kid : [whispering to Wise's ear]  You wanna take Gloria out for an ice cream or something?

  Wise : I don't need no child to tell me how to treat a woman. Shood. Well, I was a lady's man way before I was fighting the war. Oh was, hee hee, you want me to run into ferric. You like that, baby girl?

  Kid : [whispering]  Shh! Keep it down!

  Wise : Hm. Back in my time, a man would have to be married with three children before he can see so much snap. Oooooh-woo!

  Business : Kid's like ignoring what child is there.

  Kid : Biz?

  Business : Ladies, please excuse me while I converse with this young ball at the D.

  [the girls walks away, but one of them approaches Kid] 

  Girl : Aw, ain't you just the cutest thing?

  Kid : Awww!

  [to Business] 

  Kid : If you were my age, what would you do to get the finest girl in town?

  Business : Your age, my age, Pops' stone age. It's all the same. If you miss an opportunity to impress a girl you love, you will always regret it.

  Girls : Hi, Biz!

  Business : Hello, ladies.

  Kid : So, how can I impress her?

  Business : When like a man with skills and courage, I don't see anybody jumping off that high dive.

  [Kid looks at a very tall diving board called a high dive] 

  Girl : [standing at the high dive]  Hi, Biz.

  Kid : [gulp] 

• [Kid is climbing on the high dive very nervous] 

  Kid : [in a woman voice]  Wow, Kid, I can't believe you go from that high up. You're so brave. Maybe we can go to a movie sometime.

  [in a deep man voice] 

  Kid : Shut up, baby. Drink some popcorn on them.

  [a flock of geese flies by, making Kid feel cold] 

  Condor : What's he doing up on a high dive?

  Erik : That's a high dive? I thought it was a cellphone tower.

  Business : He's showing his courage.

  Wise : I think I see his courage running down his leg.

  Business : Don't baby him, pops. He's old enough to stand up on his own.

  [Cut to a flashback with Kid at the hospital wearing a body cast, where he sucks soda from a straw while a song plays. Back in reality, Business's phone rings. He answers it] 

  Business : Oh, hiyo, Mr. Takuhashi.

  [Kid is standing on the diving board. He closes his eyes] 

  Kid : [praying]  If I make this... I'm gonna do all of my homework.

  [opens one eye and stares down the very low swimming pool] 

  Kid : Iiiiiiiiiiiiis thaaaaaaaaaaaat coooooouuuuuuraaaaaage?

  [dives off the board and falls down with all his might] 

  Li : No.

  [Business and Wise are swimming in the pool] 

  Wise : Don't worry, Kid! I'm coming to get you!

  Business : I got you now.

  [Kid opens his eyes and screams as he falls. He waves his arms and legs and finally hits the pool. He sinks into the water. Li dives to the pool and saves him from drowning] 

  Kid : [Li looks at his eyes after saving him]  Did... did you just save me?

  Li : Are you okay?

  Yugi : [pushes Li away]  Stand aside, little one. This kid needs lip to mine.

  [leans closer to Kid's face] 

  Kid : *NOOOOOOOOO*!

  [Yugi gives him a huge sloppy kiss]