Thanks for Sharing (2012)
Mike: Feelings are like kids. You don't want them driving the car, but you don't want to stuff them in the trunk, either.
Mike: It's like trying to quit crack while the pipe is attached to your body.
Phoebe: Yes, my tits are fake. That's what happens when your real ones try to kill you.
Neil: Hi mom, I'm a little busy right now.
Roberta: That's funny, because I wasn't too busy to give birth to you 28 years ago.
Neil: No Dede, don't. Where are you?
Dede: Outside his place.
Neil: What? No!
Dede: I can't help it.
Neil: Alright. Listen to me, okay? I want you to turn around and go someplace safe. What's near you?
[Dede pauses to think]
Neil: [shouts] Think!
Dede: Okay, f**k! The salon where I work is pretty close.
Neil: Where is it? TELL ME!
Dede: Damn, dude. You just got all Jack Bauer on me.
Neil: Wow! You, like, literally transplanted a baby's butt on my face.
Mike: Is all of Manhattan just one big f***ing catwalk?