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|Index||29 reviews in total|
Thank God I rented it instead of paying money to the movie theater. There is nothing about this movie that was worth watching. From the Story line to the acting to the special effects it was all cheesy. I love good sci-fi but this was not unfortunately. The box said it was a follow-up to Battlefield LA but they weren't even slightly the same. This movie suffered from budget problems obviously as most of the scenes must have been in an abandoned building of some kind. The acting, for the most part, was not any better than any high school production. The special effects weren't all that special and looked very amateurish.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
"Battlespace" writer & director Neil Johnson's derivative, low-budget,
science fiction actioneer "Alien Armageddon" chronicles a breed of
Martian invaders, 'the Nephilim,' who subjugate planet Earth for a
little more than three months. These hostile intruders establish their
headquarters in Los Angeles. They rely on our own scientists to modify
our DNA so that we serve as fodder for these ravenous monsters who had
to abandon their famine-stricken world. Actually, the Nephilim have
been quietly infiltrating Earth for many decades, acquiring knowledge
about our character and culture. The cardboard, computer generated
special effects in the first ten minutes look like something out of a
black & white graphic novel. The spacecraft and alien army outfits
resemble a schlocky synthesis of a SyFy made-for-cable feature and a
knock-off Asylum made-for-video epic. An armada of spacecraft with
submarine-shaped hulls sans conning towers which are equipped with
tridents mounted on their bows hover over like vultures every major
city. The alien soldiers look like distant cousins of the "Star War"
robot C3PO. Decked out football regalia bristling with hoses, they bear
deadly automatic weapons. Predictably, the earthlings capitulate in the
first half-hour as these nefarious extraterrestrials conquer and
incarcerate humanity. Some of the humans, desperate to survive long
enough to escape, turn into quislings, and the jailed humans are fed
contaminated food which makes them edible to the aliens.
Our protagonist is a feisty Jewish red-head, Jodie Elliot (British actress Katharine McEwan of "Sinners"), who operates a print shop in contemporary Los Angeles. She is contending with a disgruntled customer who wants a discount when the alien ships arrive over the city. After the aliens dominate the planet, Jodie joins the resistance, but she is captured and ends up with two guys in cramped prison quarters with an electronic force field substituting for iron bars. The inmates dine from black plastic buckets on unsavory slop, while they relieve themselves into a small foot locker. The food is so disgusting that they wind up puking it up not long after digesting it. Nevertheless, this is all that they are allowed to devour. Jodie shares a cell with a disillusioned African-American, Markus (Benjamin J. Cain Jr.) and a Caucasian military bomber pilot, Sheen (William David Tulin), who blasted Chicago. Jodie wants desperately to escape and rejoin her daughter who lives in the nearby small town of Little Rock, California. She watches in horror as her cell mates are hauled off to become brunch. At one point, Jodie escapes briefly and witnesses a harrowing scene where a pregnant woman excretes chunks of flesh.
The other character of some prominence is a murderous miscreant named 'Cowboy' (Don Scribner) who has been locked up at Folsom State Prison from the get-go for killing his son during an awful bus crash. Cowboy wears his hair long, talks through a grizzled beard, and dresses in a duster with a Stetson riding low on his eyebrows. He manages to escape but is captured by the aliens not long afterward and thrown in the same cell with Jodie. Meantime, two scientists Franci (Rochelle Vallese) and Dr. Brenna (Julia Parker) are collaborating with the Nephilim to make humanity palatable for the aliens. Once the Nephilim have used Franci, they put her into the same cell with our heroes. The Nephilim take Markus and feed him to a flesh eating zombie like creature. Jodie, Franci, and Cowboy escape when Jodie fakes a bout of illness. The girls head for Little Rock, but Jodie doesn't find her daughter. Cowboy later rejoins them.
Meantime, Franci injects Jodie with some strange serum so that she becomes a bio-medical weapon against the Nephilim. Franci rhapsodizes about the pleasures of masquerading as a human and all the feelings that life evokes for her. Predictably, she dies. Eventually, humanity triumphs over the Martian invaders. Before this occurs, we get to see revolting shots of giant, beady, orange slugs with pincers gnawing on the flesh and bones of decaying humans. Franci dispatches Jodie on her sacrificial mission to save mankind with a lingering lesbian lip-lock. Jodie neither pukes nor repels Franci. The characters spout loads of profanity.
Little about the humdrum "Alien Armageddon" is compelling, exciting, or humorous. A few firefight scenes between Nephilim troops and earthlings enliven the predominantly exposition-laden narrative, but there are no revelations in this derivative, standard-issue invasion flick. The Nephilim chieftain looks menacing with is zombie-like complexion, but Johnson doesn't give him adequate screen time to create more than a fleeting impression. "Alien Armageddon" qualifies an abominable opus with one-dimensional characters, shoddy storytelling, second-rate special effects, forgettable dialogue, and nondescript acting. Pretentiously enough, Johnson inserts a preamble and a postscript where he quotes from the Book of Enoch. Clocking in at 95 interminable minutes, "Alien Armageddon" makes "Battlefield Earth" look like "Star Wars."
I used to think that "Tomorrow When The War Began" was the crappiest
film ever. But now there is a new contender. In fact it's no contest.
Who the hell... How the hell... What the hell... made this rubbish?
I'm trying to imagine the pitch to investors in this movie and I can only believe it was by the smoothest, slickest conman ever, to the most naive, gullible idiot ever. A match made in hell ... for the rest of us.
I'm speechless while writing. Think of the advert that annoys you most and then make that advert 90 minutes long. Tadah! Here it is!
Must rest now. My brain has been severely damaged. Must press zero ... on the ... rating button... before I pass... out...
(OK - enough ellipses already!)
I admit I wasn't expecting much despite some decent ideas. This is the second awful movie in a row that I watched, the other being Super Tanker, and both are in the top 15 list of bottom-of-the-barrel movies. The whole film looks slipshod, with some of the most amateurish special effects I have ever seen, and a soundtrack that was so obtrusive at times that it gave me a headache at the end. The script is not just forgettable, it is very cheesy and just atrociously written in general, even 6 year olds have written better, and while the ideas were good the story itself was tired and very dully paced, there was never anything exciting or thought-provoking and if there was anything that aimed to hit hard sorry but the only thing that disturbed me was how badly made Alien Armageddon was. The characters are not just stereotypical and some of the most one-dimensional and most irritating of any movie, and in all honesty I would rather sit through the worst high school production than see acting this atrocious and unprepared again. All in all, one of the worst movies I've seen in a long time, maybe I am taking Alien Armageddon too seriously but I do love movies when they're good and this movie doesn't live up to my criteria of good. 0-1/10 Bethany Cox
This movie gave me the shits, and if you saw it you'd know what I'm talking about. I can't believe they wasted over $800,000 on this. That money could have been better spent helping out the indigent. I got suckered into watching this because of some flashy CGI, but once I got it running on my television, I wasn't 25 minutes into the movie where I shut the TV off and went back to my computer. I figure, if a movie can't hold my interest in the first 15 minutes, then it isn't worth watching the next 60 minutes or whatever. And this is coming from a guy who's watched every Godzilla movie ever made. So if I'm saying this is a bad movie, then you know it's bad.
I didn't go into watching this movie with high expectations .. just
hope. And sadly .. my hope was dashed to the ground. At least the boot
didn't grind the hope into the ground.
The story line is not bad. Nothing new but a new way of combining various facets of the sci-fi universe the movie has made for our entertainment. (Yes .. boys and girls .. every idea in this movie has been used in print or TV or movies at least 50 years ago.) However .. the acting was leaden .. the special effects I could have done better on my desktop computer (ok .. I admit some of it wasn't bad) .. the dialogue ranged from okay to horrible (mainly just bad).
One good thing .. was the soundtrack and foley effects which weren't bad at all. One other good thing .. was the story progression. (Sorry that some people seemed to get confused over a relatively straight forward denouement of "the secret" behind the invasion.) That .. at least .. was the "something" that actually kept my attention enough to rate this turkey a 4.
Boys and girls .. this story was laid out like a detective story. Clues and information sprinkled along the way leading to the penultimate clarity of understanding. (P.S. That's also why the "troops" wore full head covers and botched up speech .. to keep you from figuring out a major part of "the secret" too soon.)
Never have figured out why shoestring budget sci-fi movies make a hand weapon that looks like it should weigh 50 lbs but is no different than an AK-47. (Suddenly remembers the tiny cricket from MIB and laughs to himself.)
The saddest part of all .. is that sci-fi does incorporate every type of story .. with sci-fi twists. But in the movies .. it seems the only sci-fi you get is the "action packed" drama. (Bug hunts) And that makes this movie a bit on the remarkable side. The detective sci-fi storyline is not commonly used in movies. (YOU are the detective.)
If you enjoy a movie that doesn't need to keep you on the edge of your seat or reaching for your weapon of choice to join the fight .. but instead like to be given things that make you scratch your head and wonder "what does that have to do with anything" .. you might enjoy this. Well .. if you can get past all the other bad parts .. then maybe.
Anyone who says this C rated movie is any good is promoting this movie.
Very low budget and digital effects. Poor plot, script. I think I made
this movie up in my head when I was 8 but it was better then. Not as
smart as a Woody Allen movie but definitely as bad don't waste your
money it will probably be on one of those crappy movie t.v. stations in
Well it says I have to write ten lines to submit a review so I could have written the script for this movie on here.
I want my four dollars back for this movie.
Seen this movie in many different versions of the same plot.
Anti-climatic: don't know where this movie peaks.
For a Sci-Fi movie, then "Alien Armageddon" wasn't particularly
impressive. However, I will say that I have seen worse movies than this
The story is about a race known as the Nephilim (very original, eh?) who come to Earth and invade the planet to harvest resources from this planet (again, very original). But humanity does not just roll over and surrender, a small group of resistance fighters take up arms to fight back the invading alien force.
Well, the storyline is fairly generic and right off the "let's make a Sci-Fi movie storyboard", as there is nothing new here whatsoever. It is all stuff that has been done countless times in other Sci-Fi movies. So don't get your hopes up.
As for the characters in the movie, well you don't really bother much to form any kind of association or bond with any of them, as they are fairly two-dimensional and lacking characteristics.
Effects-wise, then "Alien Armageddon" wasn't great. Sure, there was an effort put into it and they tried. I will give them as much as saying that the armors of the Nephilim was actually looking good, and the make-up effects on the hybrid (which looked a lot like a zombie) was actually quite cool. But the explosions and destructions of cities and such was lacking proper CGI effects to be believable. And for some reason people's heads kept exploding in a burst of liquid (without any meat or bones) whenever they got hit by the Nephilim weapons, yet, their weapons didn't leave marks on vehicles when they struck them. Odd. Very odd. There were some nice enough effects on some of the creatures, but nothing impressive.
As for the resistance, it was said that they had an army waiting, but you never got to see this army, only a handful of people at the most. So it wasn't really as if you bought into the whole concept and the fact that humanity was actually struggling against a superior race from beyond the stars.
In overall, then "Alien Armageddon" was below average and mediocrity. It was entertaining at times, but at other times it just took forever to get nowhere. So it wasn't an all together enjoyable experience.
When I was at home with nothing to do on a Saturday, I decided to give
this movie a try. I never watch a movie without watching the trailer,
but I guess thats not enough. The creators of this movie did something
very smart; They put all the action packed scenes in the trailer with
some pumped up music, and made it look like it was "worth the money".
So I paid, and within the first 10 minutes of the movie I knew I had
made a huge mistake. So the movie has a bunch of actors in it you have
probably never heard of, and I was "ok" with that knowing from past
experience you cant judge a movie by its actors. So the first thing I
noticed about the movie within the first 10 minutes that the actors
were not completely bad but it just didn't seem like the actors were
putting much effort into the movie and some of the actors just seemed
like they didn't know what they were doing. I had a smirk on my face
but proceeded to keep watching the movie. After about 20 minutes I
noticed something that really got me upset; The special effects were
terrible. I kind of laughed at the fact that I could probably make a
movie with better effects than this one.
After about 20-30 minutes into the movie I noticed that the lighting was bad, the set was bad, and the actors were just terrible. It reminded me of some of the short films I sometimes make with my friends. I just shut off the television by that point and got on my computer to see some of the IMDb reviews. This is how I discovered IMDb, and from that day k on I checked the IMDb reviews before watching a movie since the reviews on this site are very accurate. As much as I am tempted to rate this movie a 1, im rating it a 2 for the following reasons: The producers were smart enough to trick the people into thinking this movie was worth it with the trailers and plot, and if it weren't for this movie, I wouldn't know what IMDb is. The fact of the matter is, don't waste your money on this movie, you will regret it.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
***May contain lite spoilers***
The overall plot line of the film is a very familiar one, incorporating several well known and much used sci-fi ideas: alien invasion, body snatching, high technology, genetic superiority of species, depletion of natural resources, and of course the ever popular lone star hero.
THEN there are the other well known movie archetypes that usually just make me laugh, cry, vomit uncontrollably or even worse, turn the TV off. These include: woman warriors, sudden lesbian moments that blindside you out of nowhere, "humanity isn't so bad/weak/stupid/destructive/useless after all" realizations, and finally, the ever popular lone star hero.
I know, I mentioned him already.
For the first half of the film, there was no clear direction to lead the viewer along. I felt like it was just turning pages of a book at random, reading selections and expecting me to piece together what was happening. Granted the overall story was clearly, "OMG! We're being invaded by aliens!!!" but the smaller details were left rather unstated. I was left with many questions like, "Does this film have a main character?" Also, a large portion of the film took place in a prison "facility" that recycled a lot of space and just really didn't work well.
I also got the distinct feeling like we were supposed to be in awe of certain elements. The lone star hero for instance calmly walks into the scene and saves the day. Am I supposed to be impressed? Female characters randomly kiss each other. Is that supposed to be hot? The plot is explained. Am I supposed to be sympathetic to the other side? One of the characters is revealed to be an alien who simply just finds humans to be too interesting and.. pleasurable.. to kill. How positively Roddenberry-ish, I'm having Star Trek flashbacks.
But bad acting and poor filming just get in the way, I just couldn't get into any of the "dramatic" moments of the feature. If you like sci-fi and just can't bare to not watch this, then go ahead, but really you're not missing out on anything by not watching it.
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