- Carl Mauve: I'm assuming you read lips. Otherwise I've just wasted the better part of a fucking hour.
- York: I listen to a steady diet of good ol' fashioned American-made rock n' roll. So if it ain't got a guitar solo, it ain't gettin' no goddamn airplay on these here speakers.
- Versetti: If you're not ready to die, don't wear a badge. And if you're not ready to kill... don't take up a life of crime.
- Madame X: When was the last time you laid your heart out like a sun dancer and you hung from the hooks that the Sun God gave you? When was the last time you said, "Here! Life is pain but give it to me because it doesn't matter as long as I have you!"
- Uforic: That's right, I represent them real niggas, them thug niggas, them killa niggas, them baby snatchers, kidnappers, motherfuckers up in there doin 25 to life? I represent them niggas, them motherfuckers that sell crack to pregnant women when they're hungry. I represent them niggas that white boys like you drive by at night and roll up your motherfuckin windows. Shit, I'm a real thug, a real G. But I don't advertise that shit, you know what I'm sayin?
- Ari Speck: Have you ever dealt with a child actor? You offer them free soda, gift certificates, coupons to Fishworld and they still act like ungrateful little cunts!
- Josey Can Can: Do I smell something? Did somebody forget to... FLUSH? Give me my motherfuckin money, nigga!
- Dutch: One of these days I'm gonna see you on the Discovery channel, getting forklifted out of your bed.
- Special Agent Queel: Did you just call me a fucking cop? Let's get this straight right now, you rat piece of shit. I am a special agent in the Federal Bureau of Investifuckingations. Do I look like bacon? No! I'm Kobe beef. Motherfucker, top notch!
- Pinky: I can't concentrate with all this commotion going on. Is there some way somebody can go into the kitchen and get me a sandwich?
- Olive: But just seeing you there... standing over his dead body, all powerful like an Amazon goddess of death... made me so hot!