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|Index||14 reviews in total|
While shooting a low-budget monster movie entitled "Head Chopper 3" in
Hawaii, a film crew is terrorized by the titular creatures. These giant
snakes are the result of an unholy union between a piranha and an
anaconda. Heroic, handsome and well-chiseled stuntman Robert "Rib"
Hillis (as Jack Black) attracts curvy brunette script girl Terri Ivens
(as Rose) and sexy blonde B-movie actress Shandi Finnessey (as Kimmy
Weston). The bikini-clad star is famous for her line, "Suck lead, you
hillbilly butt nugget!"
Also hanging around the Hawaiian Islands is mutant snake hunter Michael Madsen (as Robert Lovegrove). He wears a straw hat and steals reptilian eggs for profit and research. They are all kidnapped by gangsters. Even worse, they are all and hunted by the angry, hungry "Piranhaconda" (or is that "Piranhacondas"?). The monsters are not at all frightening, but they sure are funny. Director Jim Wynorski showcases a generous helping of tightly-attired bosom (or is that bosoms?). The title song is very cool.
**** Piranhaconda (6/16/12) Jim Wynorski ~ Rib Hillis, Terri Ivens, Shandi Finnessey, Michael Madsen
A huge creature that's part snake, part fish is terrorizing the cast
and crew of a B-movie, I'm guessing because it's mad that Professor
Lovegrove (Michael Madsen, Sin City, Kill Bill) had stolen it's eggs
(Piranhacondas don't know how to compartmentalize it seems) That's the
threadbare plot for this SyFy original in a nutshell. Sure there's
another plot about kidnappers but that one meanders and isn't that
interesting. It's all about the snake.
Slightly above average (for a SyFy film). The effects are fairly well done and there is some fun to be had. Plus I'm still a huge admirer of Director Jim Wynorski even if it's more for his amazing work in the '80's as opposed to his more recent output.
Of course this is not a good movie! But what else did you expect from a
movie called "Piranhaconda", about an half snake, half piranha, that
loves to crush and eat people. At least everyone in this movie knew
what they got involved with and never took things too seriously. This
is often a good thing and it at least still keeps the movie somewhat
fun and tolerable to watch.
Basically all of these movies play out the same; a killer animal is on the loose and randomly kills a bunch of people you don't even care about, with always a guy and girl, who used to be or still are in love, trying to kill the creature. Really, once you have seen one of these Roger Corman/Syfy channel movies, you have seen them all and know actually how things are going to play out. They don't even attempt anymore really to come up with some original moments. And it also seems that all of these movies got shot at the same locations, no doubt because they were the cheapest to film at. It basically makes this movie just like any other one, that came out recently, done by Corman.
People that enjoy movies will still get a kick out of it. There is plenty of cheese and camp to enjoy, coming from the hands of the actors and filmmakers. It isn't trying to be more than it is and it makes no assumptions about it that this is being even a remotely good movie.
The one thing that always stands out about these movies, in terms of horrible quality, are its special effects. I don't know who keeps doing these special effects from his mother's basement on his home computer but it's absolutely horrible and I sincerely hope they start putting some more money and effort into it in the near future, since it will most likely make the movies less annoying and cringing to watch.
And I really don't know what Michael Madsen is doing in this. He got top billing, probably because of his name and fame but in fact he is only being a supporting character, that could had been played by anybody really.
Only somewhat watchable and enjoyable if you like cheesy bad movies. Everybody else will only be annoyed and amazed at how bad this movie in fact is.
Well another year has gone and it is my birthday again... so what does that mean? A lads night of food, games and rubbish movies.
This was the first movie we watched... you know exactly what to expect when the title is Piranhaconda. I don't even think I need to explain the movie do I? The movie is about a group of movie makers that are in the woods making a movie... it is not going very well, but get's a lot worst when they get attacked one by one by a giant snake.
The story was alright I suppose seeing as you don't have much choice when a giant snake/piranha thing is eating everyone in sight.It is nothing original, but for a cheesy b-movie that is fine.
The acting was terrible from everyone. Not one person did a good job, not even the star of the movie. The movie stars Michael Madsen, Rachel Hunter, Rib Hillis, Terri Ivens, Chris De Christopher and Shandi Finnessey. Now I know what you are thinking... "What the hell is Mr. Blonde from Reservoir Dogs doing in a film like this?"... trust me, we all thought the same thing! He did look a mess and his acting was bad. He came across in this movie like he couldn't care less. He really looked like he regretted signing up for this movie from the start... and I can't blame him.
The movie was that bad, that it actually made it quite good. We were laughing all the way through the movie at how bad it was. There were plenty of half naked women running around the entire movie... most of which was completely unnecessary. There are some comedy lines in there. They were there on purpose and were not that funny... but to be honest the funniest part was the special effects.
The special effects were so bad. The snake thing looking like a 1990's computer game. It looked like it was not blended into the background at all. Even for a 2013 b-movie, this was weak!
It is an entertaining movie if you have your friends over and you all fancy watching a really funny movie and can chat throughout it.
I will give this film 4 out of 10.
"Suck lead, you hillbilly butt nugget!"
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OK, I'll try to sum it up. First, a Captain Ahab wannabe scientist discovers a half piranha, half anaconda in Hawaii. He gets one of its eggs and escapes, only to be kidnapped by some criminals whose activities are unexplained. Meanwhile, a low-budget film crew is shooting a lousy horror movie, though it can't be as terrible as this movie. The criminals kidnap part of the film crew to hold them for ransom, but they run into the piranhaconda, and then a second piranhaconda shows up for good measure. It's never really explained how a piranha-anaconda could create a hybrid breed, and it's also never explained how it wound up in Hawaii, which is not native to either creature. The film stars Michael Madsen as the mad scientist/hostage and Rachel Hunter as the diva star of the terrible movie, both obviously in it for an easy paycheck. It was produced by none other than Roger Coreman, who made several terrible science fiction films in the 1950's. Here, he proves that he hasn't lost his touch- he can still make terrible science fiction movies. In place of unconvincing zipper-backed monsters, we have unconvincing computer animated monsters, complete with laughable death scenes where even the victims seem to have difficulty keeping straight faces. The Sci Fi Channel strikes again, strikes out that is.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
A film crew shooting a B-Movie in the jungle comes face-to-face with a
fearsome pair of piranhacondas, which resemble giant snakes with
piranha teeth. To reach the requisite running time, a team of
mercenaries is thrown into the mix, as well as a scientist eager to
carry one of the creatures' eggs back to civilization.
PROS: The title is laugh out loud silly, which led me to believe that the film would tread the same waters as the vastly superior "Sharknado." Both films were SyFy Channel Original Movies, which further increased my hopes.
CONS: Too many to mention. This is a film that is inept on nearly every level. The script has none of the wit (and I use this term loosely) of the previously referenced "Sharknado." It doesn't even have the wit of grade school sleepover. Instead, it substitutes machine gun delivery of clichés and movie speak for character development. There can be no audience identification because the script is so bad that the actors know it. Star Michael Madsen looks pained (or drunk) every time he speaks. He seems to be ducking away from the camera, as if he's embarrassed by the screen time.
I know there are those that will argue that the script and acting are not the point of these movies. "Piranhaconda" makes that clear from the onset. Like clockwork, the director trots out some silicone enhanced beauties every ten minutes to be gnawed by the title characters. These women have no roles. They exist merely to add skin to the decidedly horrible plot. It's as if the SyFy Channel suddenly acknowledged that they could no longer court an audience through creature features and decided to hedge their bets with Cinemax skinflix inserts.
All of this might be forgiven if the creature effects were interesting. Or even competent. But neither is the case. SyFy again resorts to video game effects (and I'm talking early Nintendo here), which are almost laugh inducing. Actually, if they were laugh inducing, this might have provided some measure of enjoyment.
Not to beat the point to death, but would it have killed the filmmakers to have done a competent sound mix? Listen to the first ten minutes of "Piranhaconda" for a primer in how to ruin a low-budget movie with bad sound. Background audio rises or falls with the shot, a sure-fire sign that the filmmakers ran out of money and time before finalizing the picture.
This is an embarrassing film.
You know the story, and it doesn't matter all that much if you don't.
Tacky effects, great scenery - Hawaii gorgeous as always, hot actresses
and actors with serviceable acting ability and that guy who was in that
thing that one time many years ago.
The only thing that keeps this from being an actual Sedaris movie is the absence of Andy or his son from the producer list and the lack of nudity since this is basic cable broadcast. The production companies should make these shows in dual-format for Syfy (who tragically lost their spell checker some years ago) and for Showtime or Cinemax.
The effects are really bad, I mean REALLY bad but the acting is OK and movies like this keep the majority of Hollywood in business, plus at least these actors got a trip to Hawaii, so I will give it a thumbs-up. Check it out.
Movies like this are very difficult to rate. On one hand they are
deliberately made to be awful and somehow deliberately acquire the
status movies like The Room and Plan 9 get for being "so bad it's
funny". Now I don't believe movies like this have that kind of charm to
them but in my opinion when done right (...Whatever the hell THAT
means) they can be a ton of fun to watch. This is one of them -
While on a B- movie shoot and a science expedition are in the jungle they come across a creature from ancient folklore that only comes out of hibernation every few decades a giant snake with razor-sharp teeth and other features of a pirahna to cause havoc and kill people. While this is happening both the only survivor of that science expedition (Michael Madsen) and the film crew survivors are kidnapped by domestic terrorists or something and soon they have bigger things to worry about such as the fact that 2 Pirahnaconda's are after them.
If you know this kind of movie then you'll expect some goofy acting (at best) and having a really tongue-in-cheek tone as well as horrible special effects (to be fair, the Pirahnaconda doesn't look THAT bad... It doesn't look that good either) so for what it's going for - it's not that bad. If you have clear expectations in mind (if you don't the theme song sums it up - horrible, campy, yet fun)
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
"Piranhaconda", well the name of the movie is a clear enough indication
of what kind of movie and type of entertainment you are in for here;
low-budget monster movie with a cheesy story, and probably even more
cheesy monster. Well, as this is a SyFy Channel movie, then yes and
The movie starts out wonderfully with a themesong about the piranhacondas. Yes, a song about these wonderful reptilian creatures. It was as epic as the song they had in "Super Shark".
The story takes place in Hawaii, where an apparent freak of nature aberration between a piranha and an anaconda have taken place. How such an unholy union came about to be, we are not given any inside information or facts about. So we can only speculate. The most logical option would be genetic manipulation, but who knows? But these two, yeah not just one, but two, piranhacondas are of gargantuan size, and how they came to grow so big and sustain their diets puzzles me. So the Hawaiian people wouldn't notice a dramatic delve in population, livestock, or whatever it is that these creatures feast upon to grow so big? Again, something not to dwell on.
A group of amateur film makers are out in the Hawaii jungle to shoot a horror movie when they run across this aberration of nature. But they are not just up against these gargantuan snakes, they are also fighting a band of kidnappers. To spice up the story, throw a university scholar into the midst, who wants to study the piranhaconda and bring an egg back to the civilized world. Good plan, eh? Now, the people cast for "Piranhaconda" were actually doing good enough jobs with their roles, and it does seem that people were enjoying making this movie, so that was cool. The dialogue, however, was halting and forced at times, but in a movie of this caliber, that is to be expected and can be forgiven.
The piranhacondas themselves, well, they looked adequate and life-like most of the times, which worked in favor of the movie. There were some scenes, though, where these creatures came off as rather fake. No surprise there.
Another thing that was working well in favor for "Piranhaconda" was the number of casualties throughout the movie. There was a fairly high death-toll in the movie, which was nice. But it gets better, and this part of the movie I loved, whenever the piranhacondas would kill someone, they lunged at the prey (the humans) and the people would vanish in a spray of blood red misty haze. They simply just vanished in a red misty burst. That cracked me up. There were a couple of scenes where you got to see some mutilation, in the form of severed limbs. So it wasn't all bad (if you like gore).
Normally snakes propel themselves forward by slithering, right? Well yeah, as did the piranhacondas, except for one time, where it was chasing after an SUV. Take a look at the creature there, it just darts forward like a straight arrow, all rank and linear. That was so funny. Never seen a snake do that before.
The kidnappers in "Piranhaconda" apparently all attended the "College For Goons Shooting Badly". They were shooting at the protagonists, and fired several dozens, if not hundreds of bullets, and not a single bullet struck or penetrated the vehicle. That was pretty good shooting right there, especially as it was a fairly short distance.
Another of these goofs, were as they headed to the dock to sail away in a small boat, the professor (played by Michael Madsen) had the jar with the piranhaconda eggs in it. Prior throughout all the movie, the eggs was submerged in some kind of fluorescent green slime, but at the docks, there was no slime in the jar. Then a little later on as they had left the docks, the jar was out again, only this time the green slime was back.
Another lovely goof was when the stuntman (one of the protagonists, played by Rib Hillis) was out in the jungle, he just happened to come across a blue quad-bike that conveniently had been left unattended and ready to drive in the middle of the Hawaiian jungle. That never happens where I live.
Despite these flaws and cheesy things, then "Piranhaconda" was actually fun entertainment. You know exactly what you are in for with these kind of SyFy monster movies. They are like traffic accidents, you know you shouldn't look, but you just can't help it. The story was campy and cheesy, which makes it fun to watch, and the creatures were so over the top that it just becomes plain fun.
The ending of the movie was really great actually, so hooray for SyFy for that one! Didn't see that coming actually, so it was a nice surprise.
When you're in Hawaii look behind you, 'coz that's where the piranhaconda's gonna be...
I have to say i really enjoyed this movie , the special effect aren't
that good but hey what do you expect if a movie's name is Piranhaconda.
It's better than piranha or then anaconda so this movie is really
enjoyable. So here's the pro and the con's pro : 1. It has a lot of hot
chicks in it. 2. It's pretty funny ( especially when something is gonna
happen the tense song start way to early this made me laugh throughout
whole the movie and i felt super smart cause i knew when something was
gonna happen) 3. For a B-movie good acted at some points. con's : 1. No
boobs. (naked) 2. The Piranhaconda is really bad digitally crafted. (
this is also a pro cause it makes the movie funny ) 3. At some points
in the movie they used like porn actresses that just instantly died
while they could have used these actresses for prolonged sex scene's
Hope this review helps !
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