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|Index||12 reviews in total|
Of course this is not a good movie! But what else did you expect from a
movie called "Piranhaconda", about an half snake, half piranha, that
loves to crush and eat people. At least everyone in this movie knew
what they got involved with and never took things too seriously. This
is often a good thing and it at least still keeps the movie somewhat
fun and tolerable to watch.
Basically all of these movies play out the same; a killer animal is on the loose and randomly kills a bunch of people you don't even care about, with always a guy and girl, who used to be or still are in love, trying to kill the creature. Really, once you have seen one of these Roger Corman/Syfy channel movies, you have seen them all and know actually how things are going to play out. They don't even attempt anymore really to come up with some original moments. And it also seems that all of these movies got shot at the same locations, no doubt because they were the cheapest to film at. It basically makes this movie just like any other one, that came out recently, done by Corman.
People that enjoy movies will still get a kick out of it. There is plenty of cheese and camp to enjoy, coming from the hands of the actors and filmmakers. It isn't trying to be more than it is and it makes no assumptions about it that this is being even a remotely good movie.
The one thing that always stands out about these movies, in terms of horrible quality, are its special effects. I don't know who keeps doing these special effects from his mother's basement on his home computer but it's absolutely horrible and I sincerely hope they start putting some more money and effort into it in the near future, since it will most likely make the movies less annoying and cringing to watch.
And I really don't know what Michael Madsen is doing in this. He got top billing, probably because of his name and fame but in fact he is only being a supporting character, that could had been played by anybody really.
Only somewhat watchable and enjoyable if you like cheesy bad movies. Everybody else will only be annoyed and amazed at how bad this movie in fact is.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
A film crew shooting a B-Movie in the jungle comes face-to-face with a
fearsome pair of piranhacondas, which resemble giant snakes with
piranha teeth. To reach the requisite running time, a team of
mercenaries is thrown into the mix, as well as a scientist eager to
carry one of the creatures' eggs back to civilization.
PROS: The title is laugh out loud silly, which led me to believe that the film would tread the same waters as the vastly superior "Sharknado." Both films were SyFy Channel Original Movies, which further increased my hopes.
CONS: Too many to mention. This is a film that is inept on nearly every level. The script has none of the wit (and I use this term loosely) of the previously referenced "Sharknado." It doesn't even have the wit of grade school sleepover. Instead, it substitutes machine gun delivery of clichés and movie speak for character development. There can be no audience identification because the script is so bad that the actors know it. Star Michael Madsen looks pained (or drunk) every time he speaks. He seems to be ducking away from the camera, as if he's embarrassed by the screen time.
I know there are those that will argue that the script and acting are not the point of these movies. "Piranhaconda" makes that clear from the onset. Like clockwork, the director trots out some silicone enhanced beauties every ten minutes to be gnawed by the title characters. These women have no roles. They exist merely to add skin to the decidedly horrible plot. It's as if the SyFy Channel suddenly acknowledged that they could no longer court an audience through creature features and decided to hedge their bets with Cinemax skinflix inserts.
All of this might be forgiven if the creature effects were interesting. Or even competent. But neither is the case. SyFy again resorts to video game effects (and I'm talking early Nintendo here), which are almost laugh inducing. Actually, if they were laugh inducing, this might have provided some measure of enjoyment.
Not to beat the point to death, but would it have killed the filmmakers to have done a competent sound mix? Listen to the first ten minutes of "Piranhaconda" for a primer in how to ruin a low-budget movie with bad sound. Background audio rises or falls with the shot, a sure-fire sign that the filmmakers ran out of money and time before finalizing the picture.
This is an embarrassing film.
While shooting a low-budget monster movie entitled "Head Chopper 3" in
Hawaii, a film crew is terrorized by the titular creatures. These giant
snakes are the result of an unholy union between a piranha and an
anaconda. Heroic, handsome and well-chiseled stuntman Robert "Rib"
Hillis (as Jack Black) attracts curvy brunette script girl Terri Ivens
(as Rose) and sexy blonde B-movie actress Shandi Finnessey (as Kimmy
Weston). The bikini-clad star is famous for her line, "Suck lead, you
hillbilly butt nugget!"
Also hanging around the Hawaiian Islands is mutant snake hunter Michael Madsen (as Robert Lovegrove). He wears a straw hat and steals reptilian eggs for profit and research. They are all kidnapped by gangsters. Even worse, they are all and hunted by the angry, hungry "Piranhaconda" (or is that "Piranhacondas"). The monsters are not at all frightening, but they sure are funny. Director Jim Wynorski showcases a generous helping of tightly-attired bosom (or is that bosoms). The title song is very cool.
**** Piranhaconda (6/16/12) Jim Wynorski ~ Rib Hillis, Terri Ivens, Shandi Finnessey, Michael Madsen
OK, I'll try to sum it up. First, a Captain Ahab wannabe scientist discovers a half piranha, half anaconda in Hawaii. He gets one of its eggs and escapes, only to be kidnapped by some criminals whose activities are unexplained. Meanwhile, a low-budget film crew is shooting a lousy horror movie, though it can't be as terrible as this movie. The criminals kidnap part of the film crew to hold them for ransom, but they run into the piranhaconda, and then a second piranhaconda shows up for good measure. It's never really explained how a piranha-anaconda could create a hybrid breed, and it's also never explained how it wound up in Hawaii, which is not native to either creature. The film stars Michael Madsen as the mad scientist/hostage and Rachel Hunter as the diva star of the terrible movie, both obviously in it for an easy paycheck. It was produced by none other than Roger Coreman, who made several terrible science fiction films in the 1950's. Here, he proves that he hasn't lost his touch- he can still make terrible science fiction movies. In place of unconvincing zipper-backed monsters, we have unconvincing computer animated monsters, complete with laughable death scenes where even the victims seem to have difficulty keeping straight faces. The Sci Fi Channel strikes again, strikes out that is.
A huge creature that's part snake, part fish is terrorizing the cast
and crew of a B-movie, I'm guessing because it's mad that Professor
Lovegrove (Michael Madsen, Sin City, Kill Bill) had stolen it's eggs
(Piranhacondas don't know how to compartmentalize it seems) That's the
threadbare plot for this SyFy original in a nutshell. Sure there's
another plot about kidnappers but that one meanders and isn't that
interesting. It's all about the snake.
Slightly above average (for a SyFy film). The effects are fairly well done and there is some fun to be had. Plus I'm still a huge admirer of Director Jim Wynorski even if it's more for his amazing work in the '80's as opposed to his more recent output.
I have to say i really enjoyed this movie , the special effect aren't
that good but hey what do you expect if a movie's name is Piranhaconda.
It's better than piranha or then anaconda so this movie is really
enjoyable. So here's the pro and the con's pro : 1. It has a lot of hot
chicks in it. 2. It's pretty funny ( especially when something is gonna
happen the tense song start way to early this made me laugh throughout
whole the movie and i felt super smart cause i knew when something was
gonna happen) 3. For a B-movie good acted at some points. con's : 1. No
boobs. (naked) 2. The Piranhaconda is really bad digitally crafted. (
this is also a pro cause it makes the movie funny ) 3. At some points
in the movie they used like porn actresses that just instantly died
while they could have used these actresses for prolonged sex scene's
Hope this review helps !
Well another year has gone and it is my birthday again... so what does that mean? A lads night of food, games and rubbish movies.
This was the first movie we watched... you know exactly what to expect when the title is Piranhaconda. I don't even think I need to explain the movie do I? The movie is about a group of movie makers that are in the woods making a movie... it is not going very well, but get's a lot worst when they get attacked one by one by a giant snake.
The story was alright I suppose seeing as you don't have much choice when a giant snake/piranha thing is eating everyone in sight.It is nothing original, but for a cheesy b-movie that is fine.
The acting was terrible from everyone. Not one person did a good job, not even the star of the movie. The movie stars Michael Madsen, Rachel Hunter, Rib Hillis, Terri Ivens, Chris De Christopher and Shandi Finnessey. Now I know what you are thinking... "What the hell is Mr. Blonde from Reservoir Dogs doing in a film like this?"... trust me, we all thought the same thing! He did look a mess and his acting was bad. He came across in this movie like he couldn't care less. He really looked like he regretted signing up for this movie from the start... and I can't blame him.
The movie was that bad, that it actually made it quite good. We were laughing all the way through the movie at how bad it was. There were plenty of half naked women running around the entire movie... most of which was completely unnecessary. There are some comedy lines in there. They were there on purpose and were not that funny... but to be honest the funniest part was the special effects.
The special effects were so bad. The snake thing looking like a 1990's computer game. It looked like it was not blended into the background at all. Even for a 2013 b-movie, this was weak!
It is an entertaining movie if you have your friends over and you all fancy watching a really funny movie and can chat throughout it.
I will give this film 4 out of 10.
"Suck lead, you hillbilly butt nugget!"
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** (out of 4)
Creature feature fun from director Jim Wynorski takes place in Hawaii as a professor (Michael Madsen) tracks down an egg that belongs to a legendary part piranha, part anaconda creature. Soon its parents are killing anyone who gets in their way and that includes a low-budget film crew there filming a slasher pic. PIRANHACONDA is actually a step above most of the creature features that appear on SyFy and a big credit has to go to Wynorski. I've always enjoyed his film and this one here is a decent little affair that should at least keep fans of monster movies entertained. Again, this isn't Shakespeare but for the most part it delivers the goods. The CGI snake/fish creature is certainly something to see. Yes, it's looks incredibly fake but this here actually adds a little charm to the picture. The majority of the death scenes have cheap CGI blood flowing but this too had its own level of charm. A few weeks ago I watched POPATOPOLIS, a documentary on Wynorski as he attempted to make a film in three days. It was a very good documentary because we got to see him directing and just listening to him talk to his actors in a manner that some might not like. There's a director in this film that acts the same way and you can't help it was spoofing Wynorski and it's actually pretty funny. However, having seen that documentary, I do wonder if the same techniques works with Madsen. As for Madsen, he's clearly just picking up a paycheck here and he appears bored throughout the picture. The supporting cast features some pretty good performances including Teri Ivens, Shandi Finnessey, Rachel Hunter and Rib Hillis all turning in fine work. If you're looking for high art then you're obviously in the wrong place but PIRANHACONDA at least features some good moments, although it does start to wear thin towards the end.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
"Piranhaconda", well the name of the movie is a clear enough indication
of what kind of movie and type of entertainment you are in for here;
low-budget monster movie with a cheesy story, and probably even more
cheesy monster. Well, as this is a SyFy Channel movie, then yes and
The movie starts out wonderfully with a themesong about the piranhacondas. Yes, a song about these wonderful reptilian creatures. It was as epic as the song they had in "Super Shark".
The story takes place in Hawaii, where an apparent freak of nature aberration between a piranha and an anaconda have taken place. How such an unholy union came about to be, we are not given any inside information or facts about. So we can only speculate. The most logical option would be genetic manipulation, but who knows? But these two, yeah not just one, but two, piranhacondas are of gargantuan size, and how they came to grow so big and sustain their diets puzzles me. So the Hawaiian people wouldn't notice a dramatic delve in population, livestock, or whatever it is that these creatures feast upon to grow so big? Again, something not to dwell on.
A group of amateur film makers are out in the Hawaii jungle to shoot a horror movie when they run across this aberration of nature. But they are not just up against these gargantuan snakes, they are also fighting a band of kidnappers. To spice up the story, throw a university scholar into the midst, who wants to study the piranhaconda and bring an egg back to the civilized world. Good plan, eh? Now, the people cast for "Piranhaconda" were actually doing good enough jobs with their roles, and it does seem that people were enjoying making this movie, so that was cool. The dialogue, however, was halting and forced at times, but in a movie of this caliber, that is to be expected and can be forgiven.
The piranhacondas themselves, well, they looked adequate and life-like most of the times, which worked in favor of the movie. There were some scenes, though, where these creatures came off as rather fake. No surprise there.
Another thing that was working well in favor for "Piranhaconda" was the number of casualties throughout the movie. There was a fairly high death-toll in the movie, which was nice. But it gets better, and this part of the movie I loved, whenever the piranhacondas would kill someone, they lunged at the prey (the humans) and the people would vanish in a spray of blood red misty haze. They simply just vanished in a red misty burst. That cracked me up. There were a couple of scenes where you got to see some mutilation, in the form of severed limbs. So it wasn't all bad (if you like gore).
Normally snakes propel themselves forward by slithering, right? Well yeah, as did the piranhacondas, except for one time, where it was chasing after an SUV. Take a look at the creature there, it just darts forward like a straight arrow, all rank and linear. That was so funny. Never seen a snake do that before.
The kidnappers in "Piranhaconda" apparently all attended the "College For Goons Shooting Badly". They were shooting at the protagonists, and fired several dozens, if not hundreds of bullets, and not a single bullet struck or penetrated the vehicle. That was pretty good shooting right there, especially as it was a fairly short distance.
Another of these goofs, were as they headed to the dock to sail away in a small boat, the professor (played by Michael Madsen) had the jar with the piranhaconda eggs in it. Prior throughout all the movie, the eggs was submerged in some kind of fluorescent green slime, but at the docks, there was no slime in the jar. Then a little later on as they had left the docks, the jar was out again, only this time the green slime was back.
Another lovely goof was when the stuntman (one of the protagonists, played by Rib Hillis) was out in the jungle, he just happened to come across a blue quad-bike that conveniently had been left unattended and ready to drive in the middle of the Hawaiian jungle. That never happens where I live.
Despite these flaws and cheesy things, then "Piranhaconda" was actually fun entertainment. You know exactly what you are in for with these kind of SyFy monster movies. They are like traffic accidents, you know you shouldn't look, but you just can't help it. The story was campy and cheesy, which makes it fun to watch, and the creatures were so over the top that it just becomes plain fun.
The ending of the movie was really great actually, so hooray for SyFy for that one! Didn't see that coming actually, so it was a nice surprise.
When you're in Hawaii look behind you, 'coz that's where the piranhaconda's gonna be...
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
To be honest I wasn't expecting to enjoy Piranhaconda, the concept was
rather cheesy though had potential to be entertaining, the film didn't
exactly look promising and the amount of 1s added to the IMDb score
pre-release further added to my dubiousness. SyFy are also notorious
for bad to bottom-of-the-barrel movies(though there are a few tolerable
ones too), though no matter how terrible most are I find them
compulsively watchable and always watch to see if they ever do anything
tolerable, otherwise unless they are horrifically or insultingly bad I
do revel in their badness. Imagine my surprise when I found
Piranhaconda to be one of SyFy's more tolerable movies. It is not
perfect by all means, and has a lot of problems but does improve on
assets that bring their movies down in the first place.
Visually, it doesn't look too bad. With SyFy, you would expect hackneyed editing, scenery that doesn't give a sense of authenticity, dull lighting and awkward camera angles. In regard to those assets though, Piranhaconda is generally one of their better-looking movies. The editing and camera work is mostly focused and the scenery is striking. You'd also anticipate laughably awful special effects. On the other hand, the Piranhaconda looks alright, there are a few moments where it does look fake, but overall it delivers what the film promised(part-snake, part-fish, all killer), it does look menacing and the movements are less choppy than other SyFy creatures, in fact I was impressed at the amazing speed it moved at. My problem with the Piranhaconda wasn't to do with the design this time. It was to do with how it was developed, you don't find out much about its origin and how it came to be in the jungle.
In all fairness though, that is true of the human characters as well. Thankfully they are less annoying than SyFy movies like Miami Magma and Seattle Superstorm, but not only are they developed unconvincingly, how did three groups exactly manage to be in the jungle at the same time as each other, but especially the scientist and hot chick-type characters they are very clichéd. The script fares better, less stilted, less aimless and less contrived than most SyFy fare. While some of the more humorous spots are not as funny as they could've been, the script does have some pleasantly witty spots. The story is also an improvement, though my feelings were still mixed. It doesn't make the mistake of being dull pace-wise, is light-hearted in tone and reasonably enjoyable, with some fun, tense and not too predictable deaths with a higher body count than usual. However, the final 10-15 minutes are rather rushed, the sub-plot about the scientist character being interested in a flower that seemed thrown in and many questions, such as how the scientific group did not know anything about the Piranhaconda or why Rachel Hunter's group stayed in a place where it would be easy for the Piranhaconda to kill them.
Musically, I was also pleasantly surprised after hearing many SyFy scores that were sluggishly in tempo, derivative or overbearing. The music here has an adventurous vibe to it, and while I would've preferred that the Piranhaconda theme was without the lyrics, which came across as schlocky to me, the theme itself is one of the catchier SyFy movie themes. The acting is better than usual. It was a pleasure to see Michael Madsen and he is literally unrecognisable, but he seemed bored in comparison to his other roles. Although I wish she had more to do, I did think Rachel Hunter was quite good, and while I've read from some that Terri Ivens was rather long-in-the-tooth for the hot chick role I can't deny that she was gorgeous. But in the most fun role of the movie that is more than the hot girl in a bikini, it was Shandi Finnessy who took the acting honours.
All in all, I didn't love it but I didn't hate it. Piranhaconda was problematic but I did find it one of SyFy's more tolerable films. 6/10 Bethany Cox
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