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Cinema Snob: Oh, so Raphael's a voyeur now? Well that's going to cost him about ten wall flips. I can't show you what he's looking at, there's no subtitles so I don't know what she's saying, but judging by the sound of her voice...

[Audio clip of woman moaning in ecstasy]

Cinema Snob: Mikey, I think she likes it... in the ass.

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Cinema Snob: For those of you who are curious the full title for the film is Las Tortugas Mutantes Pinjas, which I think stands for

[shot of naked torso]

Cinema Snob: EEEEEWWW!

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Cinema Snob: Fin question mark? Well of course this isn't the end, in the sequel they learn about the "Secret of The Ooze"! Here's a hint...

[stage whisper]

Cinema Snob: It's jism!

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Cinema Snob: Oh, they're not really dressed like turtles. They're dressed in cheap dollar-store Ninja Turtles Halloween costumes. Somehow, this is worse. Because that's just what I want to jerk off to: grown men wearing costumes that a child would wear!

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Cinema Snob: The movie gets the balls rolling rather quick as a Foot Soldier gets molested by the Tricera-tits here for some reason.

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Cinema Snob: They don't even look like turtles; they look like Superman after being raped.

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Cinema Snob: So what kinda dick does she like, regular or menthol?

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Cinema Snob: Now that's a look that says, "yep, I'm getting kidnapped, but I'm also gonna get fucked," and she does. Hey lady, you might wanna watch where you point that gun, I've seen where it's been. I'm not kidding, she 44'd her Dirty Harry.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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