Agnes Brown: What a week, neh he he he. Jacko in a heap at the bottom of the escalator. Mrs Murphy upset about my little kissogram at her husband's funeral. And Granddad shit a nucular bomb. Isn't life a fecking rollercoaster? Good night!
Agnes Brown: [looking at a toilet] Oh, look, there's a chip gone out of this. Someone must have shit a brick.
Agnes Brown: How's your drink?
Hilary Nicholson: It tastes like cider.
Agnes Brown: It is. Bulmers.
Hilary Nicholson: I asked for champagne.
Agnes Brown: Well you can fuck off.
[Buster is being sick in the closet toilet and Rory knocks on the door]
Rory Brown: [thinking it's Mammy] Are you in there?
Buster Brady: Yes!
Rory Brown: Mammy, you need to know, I'm gay. I love Deano and I want the world to know. Are you upset?
[Buster throws up and Rory becomes upset]
Rory Brown: Oh Mammy I knew you'd take it hard! But please try to think of my happiness!
[Buster throws up again and Rory falls to the floor, crying]
Rory Brown: Oh Mammy! How can I be happy? Please try to think of me!
Agnes Brown: [arriving] Well you can get off the fecking floor for starters.
Agnes Brown: [startled] What is wrong with you?
Rory Brown: Mammy, I need to come out of the closet!
Agnes Brown: Wait till Buster finishes to go in first!
Agnes Brown: Dermot, what's a blow job?
Dermot Brown: 20 quid, mammy.
Agnes Brown: They change the fecking language every day!
Agnes Brown: And as for you, ya fifty pence pole dancer!
Hilary Nicholson: Is that the very best you can do?
Agnes Brown: No, I feel sorry for the fucking pole!