And the saga of Mike getting up in Sammi and Ronnie's business continues. They're not even together and they're fighting. Soooo healthy.
On top of that, Ronnie is physically restraining her, yelling at her for texting a guy. Finally, she diffuses by apparently sincerely apologizing. New concept!
In the living room, Deena's rolling around in a box. This is not a euphemism. She's actually in a cardboard box. And then Snooki kicks the box and falls on her can. She's like Charlie Brown in "Peanuts" without Lucy.
And then Deena climbs into the box and appears to get stuck, like a drunk little puppy.
"I never thought someone could make Snooki look like a rocket scientist, but Deena takes the cake," says Mike "The Situation", PhD.
Outside, Sammi says she could have texted the dude to get a rise out of him or be spiteful. Ronnie tells us he's not sure if he loves Sam anymore. "I'm kind of just 'ew' about her," he says. Sammi is shocked that she ends up going to bed alone.
The next day, Snooki, Jenni and Deena go to work. It's Deena's last day and she wants to focus on making herself clothes. But Danny's on her case and calls her the worst employee of the 2010 season.
At the house, Vinny invites Snooki out for burgers, his treat. Snooki's pretty excited about the concept of beer battered onion rings. Vinny starts talking about the girl he brought home, who he says was nice.
"The chances that I could ever be serious with Snooki -- I could get there," he tells us. "It's definitely good to know that I have a girl like that that I have genuine feelings for."
At the store, Vinny contemplates getting his ears pierced. Danny the T-shirt shop guy does it. "I'm not going to lie, I'm being a little bitch about it," Vinny says as he winces from the gun.
Pauly proclaims him "fresh to death."
Back at the house, Ronnie suggests to Sammi that they stay in. She agrees.
Vinny sees Deena decked out in a jeans mini-jumper and asks: "What's Deena's favorite part of 'Mario Bros'?"
The answer? "Denim. Denim. Denim." (Sung to the tune of the theme.)
Pauly's pretty sure denim's not in anymore.
Everyone but Ron and Sam heads out.
On the dance floor, Vinny notices Pauly's stalker Danielle staring at him. She asks him if he wants to get beat up by an Israeli chick. Then she asks Pauly if he's done with his grenades.
"Nope," he says.
She asks him if he wants to go to the house and he says no.
Back at the house, it's Earnest Ron and Sammi time. She apologizes for some of the things she's said as he chows down.
She cuddles up to him and says she misses him. He says they have trust issues.
But after, he tells her to get her clothes and come upstairs. And they're back in bed together.
"I definitely think the house is going to have their opinions, but whatever," she says.
Back at the club, Vinny thinks the scene at Aztec is bad. A large old woman grinds up on Vinny. Pauly runs screaming as she says she's an old woman who likes to party. He declares that she's not a grenade, she's an atomic bomb.
Vinny and Pauly bring girls home.
Ronnie and Sammi come downstairs as the guys work on the ladies. Mike answers a knock at the door.
It's one of the girl's brothers. He's their ride and wants to know when they're leaving. Pauly suggests he take his girl, but not Vinny's. Pauly's girl (who is not bad looking at all), is understandably offended. Vinny ends up sacrificing his girl, too.
After they're gone, Vinny grabs Snooki and jokingly drags her to the bedroom.
"I'm not anybody's last resort, I'm somebody's first priority," she tells us.
Vinny offers to let her punch him and tries to apologize. She storms off.
Mike thinks Vinny was a "douche bag" for calling her out in front of everyone.
He tries to explain that she does the same thing to him, trying to get together when she's drunk.
He picks her up and carries her around, pretending to hump her. She finally goes to her room.
Vinny's not done yet, and tries rap battling Sammi. She returns fire, and he ups the ante saying she's sneaky. He falls down as he finishing and she ends the game.
The next day, it's the last day of work for the guys. Danny goes looking for Mike and finds him napping in the dressing room.
Danny fires him on his last day.
Sammi wakes up the next morning and her eyes are glued shut because she slept with her contacts in. Snooki determines that they did it.
Ronnie takes Sam to the eye doctor.
When he leaves, his mom Connie calls -- she is loaded. She tells Deena she's so tan she looks Indian. Deena hands the phone off to Jenni who passes it off to Mike. He starts telling Ronnie's mom about Sammi's texting drama.
Later, Ronnie comes back and his mom calls again. Jenni tells Sammi what Mike told her and she goes Defcon One.
"You're embarrassing me, you're embarrassing yourself, you're embarrassing the family," Ron tells his mom.
Sammi briefs him on Mike's conversation with his mom.
Ron decides he wants to know what the texts said.
Mike tells him Sammi used to be into Arvin. Jenni thinks the boys are brainwashing Ron. They're all outside, telling him how wrong Sam was.
Ron tells us Mike's being a "friend" not an instigator.
Inside, Jenni tells Sam what's being said outside.
When Sam comes outside she calls Mike a "schemer and a scum bag". He says he doesn't like her.
She maintains they're just friends. Mike suggests he call Arvin. Ron thinks Sam looks scared.
The guys go inside and continue to try to convince Ron that Sam was in the wrong to be texting a guy. Jenni assures Sammi she did nothing wrong.
Inside, Ron gives Mike permission to call Arvin.
Outside, Sam announces -- again -- that she's done with Ron.
Mike calls and Arvin says that Sam "hits him up" from time to time. He says they never hooked up -- but oh yea, they made out.