- Raoul Puke: This is Raoul Puke, father of Fozzie Journalism, saying...
- [picks up the styrofoam cup from an unconscious Chester A. Bum]
- Raoul Puke: I have a cup.
- Chester A. Bum: Oh my God, this is the greatest movie I've ever seen in my life!
- [in western drawl]
- Chester A. Bum: Reach for the SPOILERS!
- Raoul Puke: This movie should be reviewed by me because, well, I'm in it. You heard me correctly, I'm in it. And they didn't even give me credit. Well, maybe that's because I'm not exactly in it, it's a look alike. A phony. One of the many impersonators of Raoul Puke, just like that idiot with the big forehead online.
- Raoul Puke: We went from an artsy drug house film to a western. Again. How many movies have done that already? Too many!