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|Index||11 reviews in total|
54 out of 60 people found the following review useful:
How many ways to say rubbish?, 30 November 2011
Author: Netjer-y-khet from Australia
Bad, crummy, lousy, bilge, garbage, hogwash, and still there isn't a
single word in the English language to describe this badly-acted tripe.
Mumbling, squeaks, squeals, blank stares and stupid grins are passed
off as dialog. The *cough* "actors" outdo Pinocchio in the wooden
I give this waste of an otherwise perfectly good blank DVD 1/10. If not for the bizarre record attempt to get bare breasts, gross misogyny, references to incest, a person attacked by an alien, a muscled, slow-talking jock professing to be the best friend of a weakling Übergeek, lewd suggestions, virginity-fixation and sexism into the first ten minutes, it would have scored half out of ten. The half being given to the director for having the nerve to actually publish this offal.
If, within fifteen minutes of commencing to view, you don't get the urge to bleach your brain to a crisp or don't feel like running around in demented circles, beating yourself upside the skull with a heavy bat, then please, seek immediate psychiatric intervention.
54 out of 63 people found the following review useful:
Too easy a target..., 26 November 2011
Author: camera-shy from UK
I could be mean and rip this film a new one but as my title says its
just too easy a target so i won't bother.
Instead i'll just say well done for having a go at filmmaking but i think you all need to work on your skills both as filmmakers and actors.
It looks like it was shot on one of those low end DV or HDV pro-sumer cams and the costumes were made out of egg crates and old toilet roll although they did make me laugh so there was a silver lining.
I'd be remiss as a reviewer not to warn people that this is a very low low ...low low budget film and you should enter into it with expectations to suit said budget ...low.
33 out of 35 people found the following review useful:
Undefinable load of manure, 27 November 2011
Unfortunately, zero or a minus number of stars are not allowed, because even one star is already too much credit for this undefinable load of manure. Plan nine from outer space is Oscar material in comparison to this waste of time. Is it really that bad, you might ask. No, it's even worse. The acting is awful. The script is awful. The costumes are even worse. A teenager with a moderate computer could make better effects. It looks like someone decided to make a film without any budget at all. The result is as can be expected. Just five minutes into the film, i already knew it was bad. Instead of switching it off, i kept watching it, hoping it would improve. A dreadful mistake on my part. It didn't get better, it got worse. Save yourself a lot of wasted time and don't bother watching it. You'll be a lot better off. The only advantage of watching more than an hour of this garbage is that bad films such as Plan nine from outer space or Starcrash seem to have become a lot more watchable than before.
21 out of 27 people found the following review useful:
Terrible or Awesome ?!! It all depends on how you look at it !, 1 December 2011
Author: javad-arbabi (email@example.com) from Iran, Mashhad
How can anybody make such a terrible sci-fi movie ?! You can't possibly
imagine it to be any worse . This movie just achieved the highest level
of sucking in whatever aspect imaginable ! In fact it is so terribly
bad that makes you think it's made by the greatest mind of 21th century
! And you ask why is that ? Paying attention to every little Sucky
detail and making it suck even more is not something ordinary men can
do , it needs a genius man, getting help from a genius crew, doing a
lot of thinking and hard work . So if this was the goal of the staff of
the movie(sucking as much as possible in 70 minutes), then I should say
they achieved it perfectly, no hesitation whatsoever ! Considering this
fact we can say :
DIRECTING : Simply brilliant ---ACTING : Marginally the best acting possible to mankind ---VISUAL EFFECTS : OMG! I am sure they found real Aliens and Avatars, made them furious of each other somehow,started filming their war,got caught in the middle,survived the war,edited the valuable footage and rolled it out as a movie ,cause otherwise how could everything in the movie be so real !!!!!!!!
All the above aside , I think if you watch this movie as a comedy everything starts to change ! Then it's definitely a astonishing comedy with lots of laugh and fun !
18 out of 28 people found the following review useful:
For real?, 27 November 2011
Author: Paul Haakonsen from Denmark
I initially thought this movie was going to be a spoof of the recent
popular movies such as "Aliens vs Predator" and "Avatar", because of
the title of the this movie. And truth be told, the title of this movie
is one of the most unimaginative ones I have seen in all of 2011. But
all the same, I decided to watch the movie because I had nothing else
to watch and I was semi-interested to see just how they would be making
fun of these movies.
Then as I sat down to watch the movie, I realized that this wasn't a spoof in the likes of "Epic Movie", "Date Movie", "Scary Movie" and all those types. No, this was actually a serious movie. That baffled me, especially when they picked a title like that.
All throughout the movie I was sitting there with the sensation as if I had put on an old 1980's horror movie, because it definitely had that feel to it.
Well, let me start with the bad things in the movie:
At some point in the movie, Ava (played by Cassie Fliegel) states that English was the simplest language she had encountered in the universe. And this comes from a far superior race in evolution and technology. Wait? Back it up just a notch. In the beginning of the movie, when she is in her spaceship and launching that robotar down on Earth, the text on her console is in English! Are you kidding me?
The scythe creature that Ava was hunting, it looked like something they had copied from the "Feast" movies. At least the design of the face did. The rest of it was basically just a guy in a jumpsuit, and it was painstakingly obvious that it was just that! And the part about it turning invisible, can anyone who have seen "Predator" raise their hands as say 'I have seen that skill somewhere' ?
Moving on to Ava herself. Clearly a rip off of the creatures from "Avatar" mixed with something from "X-Men". And also, you would think that when choosing a corporeal form to manifest on Earth, you would select some clothing suitable for the environment, not a snug, tight-fitting latex suit! A lot of the dialogue in "Aliens vs Avatars" was halting at best, and makes you wonder who exactly talks like that in such situations.
Okay then, moving on the good parts of the movie: The cast; they actually had some decent enough people in the movie, despite them having a bad script and poor dialogue to work with. Most memorable was Ginny You (playing Dana) and Jason Lockhart (playing Tyler).
"Aliens vs Avatars" had some good enough camera work in it, and there were some pretty nice scenic moments as well.
However, as an overall entertainment, "Aliens vs Avatars" is not really all that great. And I thought it was going to be a comedy making fun of recent sci-fi movies, so I was sorely disappointed to find out it wasn't. I suppose if you are a fan of anyone on the cast list in this movie, it would be worthwhile to sit down and watch it, otherwise, don't bother with this movie, unless you have absolutely nothing else at hand. But wait, isn't there usually something showing on TV?
6 out of 6 people found the following review useful:
This is a joke right?, 1 May 2012
Author: Carsten Berggreen from Denmark
I was invited to watch this movie with a friend of mine. We both love
Aliens and Avatar movies, so here might be the perfect combination.
Unfortunately it turned out to be more like a hangover or perhaps someone used to produce XXX-rated movies who have made this.
I am not sure if its a serious production or just some school project that was made to see how many IMDb users would tilt about it.
I hadn't heard of this movie until my friend invited me and after watching 50% of it (zapping through the rest) - I guess we know why it never showed up in any cinemas. No one would pay to watch this movie in a cinema.
The special effects looks like something made with AfterEffects in 2002 and the actors (if they are at all) are so bad I for a start thought this was going to be a soft-porn movie.
The "alien/avatar" parts are - well, looks like it was made as a school project.
If its just a school project, they can be "okay" proud with it, but don't waste your time on this if you like Sci-Fi. There is NOTHING in this movie worth watching - well except a half nude scene, aha! so it WAS a soft-porn movie or?
8 out of 10 people found the following review useful:
Stay AWAY!!!!, 12 May 2012
This is one of THE most crappiest movies i have EVER seen. The producers didn't even TRY and make an effort when it comes to "morphing" from human to creature...an utter hopeless "show" ( or a "movie" as the producer and crew would have liked it to be ) My kid could have done this on his cellphone's "camera"... NOT WORTH THE EFFORT TO WATCH. I need to add 10 lines to make this post, and i have nothing more to say. Believe me...I have been to the theater since i was 5 years old, and this is by FAR the worst of them all. Maybe if this was shot in the early '60's, it might have meant something, but to hit your name with a plank THIS hard...UNBELIEVABLE!!!
5 out of 5 people found the following review useful:
Most unnecessary nudity in movie history, 11 July 2012
Author: emphedokles from Germany
I watched that flick a few days ago. Of course not completely. I guess
nobody ever did.
The most interesting fact about that movie is that it was directed by Lewis Schoenbrun. I did not knew that guy till yet. But it seems that he is some kind of mentally ill reincarnation of Ed Wood.
The movie is really not worth any description. There is a blue avatarish creature in a spaceship orbiting earth, a Pretator like other creature and a Lost in Space (1965) look a like robot. Also some college students. All of them interact somehow without any sense or story line. They walk around on grass, now and then you see a tree. Guess the whole film location was not bigger then 100 square meters. (Maybe somebody's garden or a lawn beside a motorway station?) Oh! Also there are some laser beams in a 1970s movie stile.
I was fascinated by the most unnecessary nudity plot ever added into a movie. Its somewhere at the beginning of the film. Some chicks hike to a cabin. Then one of both instantly starts undressing while the other one walks without any reason a few meters into the forest. The conversation and the music gives you the feeling that you got accidentally the wrong disc and you are watching some kind of weired hiking soft porn. The second chick undresses during she walks into the forest and apparently just throws her cloth on the ground. Which really makes no sense in any way. After making sure that you have seen enough breasts, the predator thing shows up and kill her or whatever, i do not care.
Well if you wanna see the most unnecessary nudity scene ever, then watch the movie to this point. Then hit the stop button and bump your head for the next 40 minutes rhythmic against the wall. I guarantee you! It will be much more fun and hurt less then watching the rest of the flick.
4 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
A palatable evening's entertainment..., 18 September 2012
Author: P.S. Paaskynen from Tornio, Finland
...if you consume this flick according to the following instructions: Get a bottle of good wine (I would suggest a claret), some fine cheese (Comté and Bleu d'Auvergne, for instance) and fresh bread (Ciabata, why not). Settle down in a comfy chair, with a glass and a bite and fast forward the movie through the first few minutes to the scene where Victoria De Mare walks topless towards the camera. Her suitably attractive body bears looking at. Pause the film... Enjoy your wine and cheese casting an occasional glance at the paused screen and when the bottle is empty, stop the film. You can now feel that you have been moderately entertained by this film (which is more than you will be able to say about any scene in Blubberella). Trust me, this is the only way to watch this film!
11 out of 18 people found the following review useful:
How can you not enjoy this movie?, 26 December 2011
Author: dudeusrius from United States
I would give it ten stars but that would give viewers the wrong
impression about this movie. There is not a doubt in my mind that this
movie was a complete and total flop, but it's the hardest I've laughed
in a long time. I'm a huge fan of MST3K, and this movie would be a
modern classic by their standards. It's so easy to make fun of. The
acting, the not so special effects, and the set-ups were to die for. I
rate this production as movie making at some of its worst or
unintentional comedy at its best.
It's really a must see for people who get a kick out of making fun of movies.
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