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"Funny or Die Presents..." Episode #2.7 (TV Episode 2011) Poster

Quotes

[Terrorist on Flight 77]

[the Pilot is fast asleep, but the flight crew are all jolly, assuring the passengers they are going to arrive early at Detroit, until:]

Navigator: Huh. That's weird.

Copilot: What's weird?

Navigator: The radio just handed me a new message from the Tower. They want us to change our landing coordinates to 68 degrees north by 99 west. That's, like, uh, south of Five Point, South Dakota?

Copilot: South Dakota, 68 point, that's, uh, that's about Rushmore, isn't it?

Navigator: I think that is Mount Rushmore!

Copilot: They want us to land the plane on Mount Rushmore. Hm!

Navigator: That would pretty much have us crashing smack dab into Mount Rushmore.

Copilot: Well, that does seem kinda weird, doesn't it?

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[Terrorist on Flight 77]

[Since the Pilot is still fast asleep, the Navigator begins pushing buttons in the cockpit]

Copilot: You know what seems weird? Them wanting us to crash the plane into Mount Rushmore. Is it me? Am I...? I dunno. It just seems a little weird, doesn't it?

[Navigator touches his nose and points, the Charades Game symbol for 'You have got it right.']

Copilot: Well, maybe we should just radio in to Air Traffic Control and just kinda double-check those coordinates.

Navigator: [laughing] It couldn't hurt. It couldn't hurt to double-check. It couldn't hurt.

Copilot: Hey, uh, Radio Man! Radio Man?

[the Radio Man swivels in his chair to face the Navigator and Copilot. He is swarthy, bearded, sweating, and looks slightly crazed]

Copilot: I'm sorry. Uh, I'm so embarrassed; I forgot your name.

[the Radio Man points at his name badge, which reads Rusty O'Brien]

Navigator: Rusty. Rusty O'Brien.

Copilot: Rusty O'Brien! Rusty. I am so sorry. So many new faces around here, Rusty, ever since the merger and the buy-out... What was I going to ask you? Oh! Hey, would you run those coordinates by Air Traffic Control? Just see if that's what they meant. 'Cause it seems just a little bit fishy to me.

[Radio Man looks desperate]

Navigator: Just radio to the Tower.

[Radio Man, who looks as though he is about to cry, puts on his headphones, slaps some switches without looking at them, and takes his headphones off]

Copilot: [looking at Radio Man] So, that's a yes?

[the Radio Man nods]

Navigator: All right, there you go.

Copilot: Okey-doke.

Copilot: Thanks, Rusty.

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[the Copilot and Navigator are making adjustments to their flight instrument panel]

Copilot: You know what seems weird?

Navigator: Hm?

Copilot: Them having us crash the plane into Mount Rushmore instead of landing safely in Detroit, where all these passengers paid to land.

Navigator: Seems like straight-up bad customer service to me. Doesn't it? Right?

[the Radio Man watches them anxiously]

Navigator: I wonder if we maybe should wake the Captain up.

Copilot: No, no, no, no. The Captain had a very, very late night last night. We are not waking the Captain. That's why there's four of us in the cockpit, okay?

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[the Copilot and Navigator begin quoting lines from movies]

Navigator: Rusty? You a big 'Top Gun' fan?

[Rusty is wild-eyed and sweating]

Navigator: The movie? The movie 'Top Gun'? Tom Cruise? Kilmer? Dead fighter pilots?

Copilot: Never saw that one?

Navigator: Never saw 'Top Gun'!

Copilot: Aw, you gotta Netflix that one, Rusty.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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