Quotes

Syrio Florel: Do you pray to the gods?

Arya Stark: The old and the new.

Syrio Florel: There is only one god and his name is Death, and there is only one thing we say to Death: "Not today".

[in the duel, Bronn has killed Ser Vardis Egen and threw him out of the Moon Door. Lysa is furious]

Lysa Arryn: You don't fight with honor!

[Bronn turns to face Lysa, smiling mockingly]

Bronn: No...

[Bronn points to the open Moon Door]

Bronn: ...he did.

[Tyrion is brought before Lysa, after asking to confess his crimes]

Lysa Arryn: You wish to confess your crimes?

Tyrion Lannister: Yes, My Lady. I do, My Lady.

Lysa Arryn: [smiles triumaphantly] The sky cells always break them! Speak, Imp. Meet your gods as an honest man.

Tyrion Lannister: [meekly] Where do I begin, my lords and ladies? I am a vile man, I confess it. My crimes and sins are beyond counting. I have lied and cheated, gambled and whored. I'm not particularly good at violence, but I'm good at convincing others to do violence for me. You want specifics, I suppose. When I was seven, I saw a servant girl bathing in the river. I stole her robe and she was forced to return to the castle naked and in tears. I close my eyes, but I can still see her tits bouncing...

[Bronn and others chuckle]

Tyrion Lannister: When I was ten, I stuffed my uncle's boots with goat shit. When confronted with my crime, I blamed a squire. Poor boy was flogged, and I escaped justice. When I was twelve I milked my eel into a pot of turtle stew. I flogged the one-eyed snake, I skinned my sausage. I made the bald man cry into the turtle stew, which I do believe my sister ate. At least I hope she did. I once brought a jackass and a honeycomb into a brothel...

[many of the crowd burst out laughing. Lysa explodes in rage, realizing that Tyrion is making fun of her]

Lysa Arryn: Silence!

Robin Arryn: What happened next?

Lysa Arryn: [angrily] What do you think you're doing?

Tyrion Lannister: [innocently] Confessing my crimes.

[Tyrion tries once again to free himself. He leans on the cell door, kicks it and repeatedly calls Mord the gaoler. Mord hears him and enters the cell, waving the leather strap. Tyrion slumps on the floor]

Mord: Noise again?

Tyrion Lannister: About the gold...

[Mord beats Tyrion]

Mord: No gold! No gold!

Tyrion Lannister: [desperately] Listen to me. Listen to me! Sometimes possession is an abstract concept...

[Mord beats Tyrion, clearly angry at him for using difficult words which he cannot preceive with his limited intelligence. Tyrion groans in pain]

Tyrion Lannister: When they captured me, they took my purse, but the gold is still mine!

Mord: [holds the strap threateningly close to Tyrion's face] Where?

Tyrion Lannister: Where? I don't know where...

[Mord beats Tyrion]

Tyrion Lannister: ...but when they free me...

Mord: You want free?

[mockingly, Mord gestures to the six-hundred-feet-long drop where the cell ends]

Mord: Go be free!

Tyrion Lannister: Have you ever heard the phrase "rich as a Lannister"?

[Mord struggles to think it over]

Tyrion Lannister: [talks slowly] Of course you have! You're a smart man. You know who the Lannisters are. I am a Lannister. Tyrion, son of Tywin. Of course, you have also heard the phrase "a Lannister always pays his debts". If you deliver a message from me...

[Tyrion starts to stands, but Mord waves the strap, so Tyrion stops]

Tyrion Lannister: ...to Lady Arryn, I will be in your debt. I will owe you gold... if you deliver the message, and I live, which I very much intend to do.

Mord: [suspiciously] What message?

[slowly and cautiously, Tyrion stands]

Tyrion Lannister: Tell her I wish to confess my crimes.

[shortly afterwards, Tyrion is brought before Lady Arryn]

Lysa Arryn: You wish to confess your crimes?

Tyrion Lannister: Yes, My Lady. I do, My Lady.

Lysa Arryn: The Sky cells always break them. Speak, Imp. Meet your gods as an honest man.

Tyrion Lannister: Where do I begin, my lords and ladies? I'm a vile man, I confess it. My crimes and sins are beyond counting. I have lied and cheated, gambled and whored. I'm not particularly good at violence, but I'm good at convincing others to do violence for me. You want specifics, I suppose. When I was seven I saw a servant girl bathing in the river. I stole her robe. She was forced to return to the castle naked and in tears. If I close my eyes, I can still see her tits bouncing. When I was 10 I stuffed my uncle's boots with goatshit. When confronted with my crime, I blamed a squire. Poor boy was flogged and I escaped justice. When I was 12 I milked my eel into a pot of turtle stew. I flogged the one-eyed snake. I skinned my sausage. I made the bald man cry into the turtle stew, which I do believe my sister ate. At least I hope she did. Once I brought a jackass and a honeycomb into a brothel...

Lysa Arryn: Silence!

Robin Arryn: What happened next?

Lysa Arryn: What do you think you're doing?

Tyrion Lannister: Confessing my crimes.

Lysa Arryn: Lord Tyrion, you are accused of hiring a man to slay my son Bran in his bed, and of conspiring to murder my sister's husband, Lord Jon Arryn, the Hand of the King.

Tyrion Lannister: Oh, I'm very sorry. I don't know anything about all that.

Sansa Stark: [talking about Joffrey] I don't want someone brave and gentle and strong. I want him.