Fawn takes Jess to a charity golf tournament, but the Vice Principal lands in the sand trap in her attempts to make a good impression. Meanwhile, Winston meets a beautiful woman and must lie about being a cop.
When Schmidt's plans for his 29th birthday fall apart, Jess takes charge and enlists the help of her school's party hungry vice-principal. Meanwhile, Nick begrudgingly has his first date at Schmidt's party with a beautiful lawyer who harbors a secret, and the gang argues why one of them has to place a 50 dollar bill in the douchebag jar.
Nick panics when Julia doesn't want to put a label on their relationship. Meanwhile, Jess enlists Julia to help her get out of a traffic ticket, Winston reconnects with a former booty call and Schmidt is baffled as to why his shower towel is always damp.
Against Nick's wishes, Jess makes it her mission to get the loft's cantankerous landlord to like her. In doing so, she inadvertently jeopardizes their living situation and the guys are forced to admit they've made some "unofficial" changes to the apartment. Meanwhile Schmidt tries to decipher what he thinks are mixed signals from his boss Kim.
Single for the first time on Valentine's Day, Jess convinces Schmidt to be her wingman as she attempts to have an attachment-free fling with a handsome stranger. Nick's romantic plans are foiled when he finds himself spending more time with Julia's law firm assistant than with her. Winston becomes one of the girls when Shelby invites him over on the holiday.
When Jess tries to intervene with a classroom bully she finds herself the target of the bad seed student. Schmidt, meanwhile, is thrilled over his post-Valentine's sexcapades, but hates that his paramour wants to keep it a secret; and Nick goes into a tailspin when Julia sends him a cactus.
When Nick is hurt playing a game of touch football and Jess discovers he doesn't have insurance, she brings him to her doctor friend - an OB-GYN. The gang rallies together and Nick evaluates his life when his seemingly innocuous back injury may prove to be more serious than thought.
After Jess realizes that Schmidt is unfairly doing all of the housework, she pushes him to "go on strike," and the entire ecosystem of the loft is thrown off balance. Meanwhile, Nick scrambles when he must pay up to Winston after losing a poker game.
Jess's first date with Russell ended with a pat on the back. The second date ends abruptly. He explains he is out of dating practice. Nick's friend visits and helps him get over Julia. Winston finds out about Schmidt & CeCe.
Winston shares the secret about Schmidt and CeCe with Nick, and Nick tells Jess. Jess is upset CeCe did not tell her when it started and it puts a strain on their friendship. Nick's dating younger women and asks Schmidt for help to handle it.
Jess invites Russell to stay overnight at her place and is worried about how the guys will react. Winston gets a job at a radio station but finds it is not what he thought it would be. Nick pitches one of his marketing ideas to Russell.
Jess babysits Russell's pre-teen daughter for the weekend and meets his ex-wife. Then, Schmidt and Cece panic when they think she's pregnant. Also, Nick's new girlfriend may be too young and Winston discovers his new boss is a big baby.
CeCe does not want to admit she cares for Schmidt, so she tells him to date her gorgeous model roommate. He does, but then she gets jealous. Jess meets Russell's first wife and does not think she matches up to Ouli who seems so exciting.
When Jess and Nick run into their exes Paul and Caroline, the gang fears they both may "backslide" into romantic relationships. Meanwhile, Schmidt desperately tries not to get aroused as he deals with a delicate medical issue, Winston suffers the consequences of a wild night out with his boss and Cece brings Schmidt to a nursing home to meet her grandmother.
When one of the roommates decides to move out of the loft, the gang makes an unexpected trip to the desert where Winston faces his fear of the dark, Cece and Schmidt's relationship reaches a turning point and Jess and Nick square off with a coyote.
Out of work, Jess continues zany pursuits such as felt art and cooking unusual dishes. At the bar, a guy mistakes Jess for the blind date he is to meet. They have great sex and she continues to pretend she is Katie. Winston's mother visits.
Jess continues to have great sex with Sam but does not date. Jess feels uncomfortable with a sex only relationship. Nick becomes her guy to date but no sex. Schmidt pretends to be one of Mitt Romney's sons to impress women.
Instead of celebrating Cece's birthday watching a movie, Cece wants to go out. Jess joins the models at a wild party at the bar. The next day, Cece is not able to model at a car show, so Jess steps in at the last minute. It does not go well.
Nick prepares for a visit from Amelia, someone he had a crush on at college. Jess has a job at a haunted house for Halloween. She invites Sam, her non-boyfriend to the haunted house and plans to tell him she wants to be a girlfriend.
Unable to pay her share of rent and utilities, the guys tell Jess to get a job. She is experiencing her monthly period and is an emotional mess. Nick meets a silent guy who shows him how to be peaceful. Cece wants to go back with Schmidt.
When Jess's parents, Bob and Joan, show up at the same time for Thanksgiving dinner, Jess takes the opportunity to "parent trap" them into a reconciliation, but her ploy backfires. Meanwhile, Schmidt and his bigger ex-Marine cousin, Big Schmidt, engage in a "manliness" competition.
When Sadie tells Jess and Cece they only have so many eggs available for having children, Jess is worried and insists she and Cece get tests done. Schmidt tries to find confirmation for his sexual prowess. Nick finishes writing his book.
Jess wants a bathtub in the apartment, and Winston helps her get one. Schmidt is still interested in CeCe and thinks they would be great together, but he is also still with his boss. Nick meets a woman with man troubles at the bar.
The gang tries to attend a lot of Christmas parties. Cece talks to Schmidt about becoming just friends again. Jess tries to avoid Sam; he tells her he wants to get back together. Nick has trouble adjusting to his adventurous girlfriend.